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THE LITTLE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE HENS: A modern parable
original parody | 4/8/03 | Scothia

Posted on 04/08/2003 2:36:43 PM PDT by Scothia

One day as the Little Red, White and Blue Hens were scratching in the yard, they found a kernel of wheat. "This kernel ought to be planted to produce food for lots of hungry animals," they said. "But it's a big job, and the foxes prowl the gardens. Who will help us plant it?"

"We will not," honked the Goose Gaggle.

"Nor I," said Le Chat, yawning.

"Nor I!" said Der Hund.

"Then we will do it ourselves," said the Little Red, White and Blue Hens. And they did.

Soon the wheat sprouted, and grew tall in the hot sun. "The wheat is getting ripe," said the Little Red, White and Blue Hens. "Who will help us cut it?"

"Don't look at us," said the Goose Gaggle.

"You hens always think you deserve all the attention," said Le Chat.

"Forget it, imperialist wheat grabbers!" said Der Hund.

"Then we will do it ourselves," said the Little Red, White and Blue Hens. And they did.

When the wheat was cut, the Little Red, White and Blue Hens said, "Who will help us thresh the wheat?"

"In a pig's eye," said the Goose Gaggle.

"I wouldn't enter your threshing barn if the next decade's Bordeaux output depended on it," said Le Chat.

"Huh!" sniffed Der Hund, rolling over. "I think I'll take a nap."

"Then we will do it ourselves," said the Little Red, White and Blue Hens. And they did.

When the wheat was threshed, the Little Red, White and Blue Hens said, "Now who will help us take this wheat to the mill?"

"Yeah, right," said the Goose Gaggle.

"That so-called mill of yours is really a front for your aggressive takeover tactics," said Le Chat.

"Stinking poultry!" said the Der Hund, then cast an apologetic glance toward the Geese. "No offense."

"Then we will do it ourselves," said the Little Red, White and Blue Hens. And they did.

They took the wheat to the mill and had it ground into flour. Then they said, "Who will help us make the flour into bread?"

"Our polls indicate this is the wrong time to be baking bread," said the Goose Gaggle.

"Cowboys!" sneered Le Chat.

"Go away," said the Der Hund.

"Then we will do it ourselves," said the Little Red, White and Blue Hens. And they did.

They worked all day in the hot kitchen to bake the bread. Then they said, "Hey guys, guess what! Time to eat the bread! We don't suppose anyone is interested?"

"Yippee!," said the Goose Gaggle, preening their feathers in the morning sun. "Bread at last! We wholeheartedly believe in and support the peaceful production of bread!"

"Me! Me! I will!," said Le Chat. "It is unacceptable how some extremists have castigated your past contributions in producing croissants for our (cough) hungry multitudes."

"You can count on me," said Der Hund. "I've been your ally all along. And, uh, ya got any housing contracts open?"

"I don't think so, jerks," said the Little Red, White and Blue Hens. "We get to do that ourselves." And they did.


TOPICS: Editorial; Foreign Affairs; News/Current Events; Philosophy
KEYWORDS: britain; fable; france; germany; iraqifreedom; littleredhen; un; usa
My original. Feel free to duplicate and email. Admins: excuse if this ought to go in a different place; I'm still new here.

Sharon

1 posted on 04/08/2003 2:36:43 PM PDT by Scothia
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To: Scothia
BRAVO!

I'm printing this for my son to take to his Civil Air Patrol meeting.

2 posted on 04/08/2003 2:58:37 PM PDT by reformed_democrat
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To: Scothia
bttt
3 posted on 04/08/2003 3:11:33 PM PDT by firewalk
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To: Scothia
bump
4 posted on 04/08/2003 3:12:49 PM PDT by Dubya (Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father,but by me)
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To: Scothia
Very good. APPLAUSE !!!! I will pass it along to friends and family.
5 posted on 04/08/2003 3:14:53 PM PDT by Southflanknorthpawsis
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To: Scothia
Very good!
6 posted on 04/08/2003 3:17:27 PM PDT by bvw
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To: Dubya
Bump for latter distribution.
7 posted on 04/08/2003 3:18:21 PM PDT by dts32041 (US EPWs clothed and Fed, Iraqi EPWs bullet to the head.)
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To: Scothia
I LIKED it and I'm a terrible troll.
8 posted on 04/08/2003 3:29:25 PM PDT by UnklGene
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To: Scothia
Very nice!

If it was a bit shorter I bet Tony Snow or Brit Hume would be reading it on air soon. :)
9 posted on 04/08/2003 3:37:15 PM PDT by rpierce
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To: Scothia
Superb!!!! I was just thinking (a few days ago, on FR even) about the original of this story as a parable for the times, but this is SO FUNNY!
10 posted on 04/08/2003 3:37:27 PM PDT by Eala
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To: Scothia
sweet

Maybe it may be picked up by some Frenchie paper and possibly learn something from it!
But then again that may be pushing it (them actually learning something that is).

11 posted on 04/08/2003 3:41:22 PM PDT by prophetic
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To: Scothia
What do you have against cats? I suggest you should substitute les grenouilles.
12 posted on 04/08/2003 3:43:55 PM PDT by supercat (TAG--you're it!)
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To: Scothia
Bumped and bookmarked.
13 posted on 04/08/2003 3:52:04 PM PDT by Bella_Bru (For all your tagline needs. Don't delay! Orders shipped overnight.)
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To: Scothia
Great adaptation. I've been thinking of the Little Red Hen fable ever since this war began. I guess a lot of us are. I'm saving this version for posterity.
14 posted on 04/08/2003 4:09:17 PM PDT by tiredoflurking
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To: Scothia
Ack! Sorry 'bout the typos. I'm no good at proofreading my own text. Glad y'all liked it, though.

Oh, BTW to the person who objected to my use of Le Chat: the cat, dog and duck are characters in the original. I merely took appropriate literary license.
15 posted on 04/08/2003 4:40:51 PM PDT by Scothia (If you pray for rain, prepare to deal with some mud.)
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To: Scothia
Oh, BTW to the person who objected to my use of Le Chat: the cat, dog and duck are characters in the original. I merely took appropriate literary license...

I guess, though somehow I just like "les grenouilles"... sounds so much more "French".

16 posted on 04/08/2003 5:31:11 PM PDT by supercat (TAG--you're it!)
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To: Scothia
LOL! That is EXACTLY what went through my mind when I first heard that the French wanted "in" with the reconstruction --- The Little Red Hen.
17 posted on 04/08/2003 5:37:02 PM PDT by soccermom
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