SUV Owners Shouldn't Read This

newspaper syndication ^ | March 22, 2003 | Donald "Lefty" Kaul

[newgeezer]

There are few things more misleadingly named than the Sports Utility Vehicle, which is neither sporty nor particularly utilitarian.

Oh, it's advertised as useful, I'll grant you that. And maybe it is, if you live in a remote mountain village where you occasionally have to drive over a rock-strewn field in bad weather to get where you're going. But most of the people who do things like that wouldn't be caught sober in one of the modern, fancy-schmansy SUVs, with the soft ride and the leather seats and cup-holders. (Real mountain people drive pickup trucks with a gun-rack in back of their heads.)

No, SUVs are bought, for the most part, by city folk, many of them suburban mothers who use them to cart kids around, with side trips to the supermarket. They claim that they buy them because they are:

1. Roomy (for the kids, you know)
2. Safe (don't want to be out there in a tin can)
3. Able to travel in inclement weather (because of the four-wheel drive so many of them have)

Which would be fine, except that none of those things is true. By the numbers:

1. Even the biggest SUVs (and there are some monsters) don't have any more passenger room than, say, a full-sized minivan, which costs thousands of dollars less and is easier to park.
2. SUVs have the distinction of being both more dangerous to themselves and more dangerous to other cars than other vehicles. Because of their high center of gravity, they have a distressing tendency to roll over and their fatality rates are higher than traditional vehicles (6 percent higher on the average; 8 percent in the bigger models). However, because of their huge size, in a collision with a normal-sized car, they are more apt to kill the occupants of the other vehicle. A Chevy Tahoe, for example, kills 122 people for every 1 million models on the road, while a Honda Accord kills only 21. This what's known as a lose/lose situation.
3. Inclement weather? Don't make me laugh. People with SUVs think inclement weather is when you can't play golf. For the occasional snowy day in most areas there are better ways to get around. SUVs are not the only four-wheel drive vehicles around anymore, after all. There are cars with all- and four-wheel drive that are superior in every way to your average SUV.

Every way except one. You can't bully other vehicles with a car the way you can with an SUV. And that's what the extraordinary popularity of the SUV is about---bullying.

Keith Bradsher, a New York Times reporter who been waging a crusade against SUVs for years now, has just published a book, High and Mighty, which documents the case against the vehicle. In it he quotes market researchers who have found that the SUV craze is "about not letting anything get in your way and at the extreme, about intimidating others to get out of your way."

SUV buyers, the researchers say, tend to be "insecure and vain, often lack confidence in their driving skills [and] are apt to be self-centered and self-absorbed, with little interest in neighbors and communities."

Does that sound familiar or what? Picture the typical SUV driver---the beady, close-set eyes of a serial killer set above a snarl that could curdle a latte. And that's just the women. The men are worse. Think of Hitler's Panzer divisions invading Poland.

On top of every else, these behemoths handle badly, get lousy gas mileage, are exempt from the safety standards that regular cars have to meet and don't have to pay the luxury tax that similarly priced cars have to pay. (It's called campaign contributions.)

Let's face it, they are an unmitigated disaster; assault rifles with power steering. If a terrorist country was trying to do to us what the SUV is doing, we'd be bombing it by now.

Yet the SUV has become the backbone of the American auto industry, and, as such, is with us forever or until the gasoline runs out, whichever comes first.

[Servant of the Nine]

Washington, DC is totally responsible for te spread of SUVs.

They made it impossible to buy a large stationwagon or minivan with enough power to pass on the highway.
SUVs were exempt from the CAFE standard as trucks and so people started buying Chevy Suburbans and customizing them into decent station wagons. This has been going on for 25 years in Texas. About 10 years ago all the manufacturers started turning out phony SUVs to grab market around the CAFE standard.

SO9

[Henrietta]

"Also the author has neglected to include the fact that because these vehicles are much heavier than the average vehicle, they do far more damage to roads and vehicular infrastructure, for which we all pay."

Most road repairs and improvements are paid for by gas taxes, and since SUV owners use more gas, they pay more tax, so SUV owners do pay their fair share for road wear and tear.

[gridlock]

Don't you wish they still made the full-sized station wagon. What I wouldn't give for a modern version of the Olds Vista Cruiser...

[Poohbah]

What flavor of Focus do you drive?

I drive a ZX3 Cavalry Fighting Vehicle :o)

[PhilipFreneau]

I love my SUV, a BMW X5. It is comfortable, safe (one of the safest on the road), and handles Pennsylvania weather nicely.

My recommendation to everyone: exercise your Freedom of Choice and drive whatever you want! Also, be Pro-Choice on material things, and Pro-Life on living beings!

[Snowy]

If nothing else, I love my Trailblazer because I'm high up and can look down on those tight-a$$ed liberals driving aluminum cans.

[martianagent]

Dont you think thats a little unfair?

Yeah. They shouldn't be allowed to do that.

[killjoy]

when I drive my 400 hp AMG Ml55

There are about 4 of these things where I live. All driven by women who don't take them over 40mph. They do look nice when I pass them...

[Constitution Day]

That's funny - I seem to remember that.
I also have that "ZX3 Cavalry Fighting Vehicle"... LOL.
Now that the weather is warmer I get to use my sunroof!

[biblewonk]

Disagreeing with you, or this twerp of an author, is not unamerican.

Duh! Same for his and my disagreement with you. I should have put a sarcasm tag but I thought it was obvious.

[Poohbah]

I opted to skip the sunroof when I found out that they wouldn't include a pintle-mount Ma Deuce :o)

[cardinal4]

Cmon, equating SUV driving with terrorism is what the left is trying to insinuate. As I stated before, I use my Jeep to pull a boat,(soon I hope)haul around my camping and fishing stuff. The 4WD on it really helped during the winter. Of all the things to equate with terrorism, what we choose to drive shouldnt be one of them..

[biblewonk]

Im in the airline industry, so the potential for layoffs has been prevalent since 9/11. Just keep praying for better economy!

OHHHHH that splains it. I work for a Boeing Contractor and we've had rif after rif. It sure is easy to find parking in the lot these days. The Airline industry is in the same state that the department store industry is, there are more of each than needed and few make much profit. That is if Walmart, K-mart and Target are department stores.

[Constitution Day]

LOL!

Seriously, mine just clicked over to 20K and it's a great car so far.

I do miss occasionally driving my '69 Chevy truck to work, though.
It threw a rod last summer and I haven't had time to get the engine rebuilt.

[POhara71]

I agree with this guy - most people behind the wheel of SUVs shouldn't be allowed to drive a Mini never mind a ton and a half vehicle. They buy them because their neighbor has one or because they're suckers for advertising. God bless America that they have the right to be so stupid but don't defend anyone that overpays for something they don't need or will never use.

Self-righteously yours
A guy that has to drive in sand to get to his front door.

[Mamzelle]

Have had many cars, but I *hated* the Caravan. Traded it in quicker than any other vehicle, after only three years. It drove like the tires were bald, which they weren't.

Chief reason I like my "cute ute" is that the back end is so convenient for loading. Also visibility, which makes me feel safer. And, I must admit, I hate minivan styling--made me feel old and washed-up.

[cardinal4]

Well, Im just hearing about our pilot group and management reaching a contract agreement regarding USAIR's emergence from bankruptcy. It looks like there is potential for a return to profitability. Which is a good thing, my SUV requires a lot of gas! :)

[newgeezer]

Don't you wish they still made the full-sized station wagon. What I wouldn't give for a modern version of the Olds Vista Cruiser.

You might be interested in the coming Dodge Magnum (and/or the related Chrysler Pacifica).

[ArrogantBustard]

I should have put a sarcasm tag but I thought it was obvious.

It's easy to get burned by that. Trouble is, the leftist crowd loves to cry "censorship" and "first amendment" when people disagree with them. Some folks seem to think that freedom of speech means a) you're guaranteed a platform from which to speak and b) noone may disagree with you. Try objecting to the homos and the abortionists for an example. See how long it takes for them to start ranting "anti-choice homophobe" at you...

[Old Professer]

OK, I'll buy that -- but WTH is a "pouser?"

Poseur?