Maybe a little more than that...
Posted on 03/25/2003 1:24:13 PM PST by Texican72
MARCH 25--When TSG learned today (via a Drudge Report link) that coalition forces in Iraq had embedded sea life in the drive to oust Saddam Hussein, we wondered how long it would take People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals to leap to the defense of mine-sweeping dolphins and sea lions.
It took PETA about three minutes to provide us with a statement attacking the military practice of using marine mammals to look for and mark mines that now dot shipping lanes in the Gulf. Along with troops and military equipment, humanitarian aid is also passing through that channel.
Here's what PETA has to say:
"Our troops deserve the best defense possible, but PETA opposes the use of dolphins, sea lions, or any other marine mammals. The project is cruel and cannot provide a reliable defense or surveillance for our troops. The Navy claims they are not putting these animals in harm's way, but they've removed these animals from their homes, relocated them to foreign waters in the Persian Gulf, and are forcing them to not only inspect the waters, but to actually swim up to potential terrorists under the water, clamp a cuff on their leg, and deploy a floating marker. How can anyone say these animals are not being put in harm's way?
The bottom line is that dolphins cannot provide a reliable defense. These are living beings with minds of their own, and though they are incredibly intelligent, they have no idea that lives will be lost if they fail to perform tasks properly. Yet, the military wants to rely on the actions of these animals in order to protect our troops. Our troops deserve the best defense possible and this isn't it. The animals and our troops deserve better."
This makes them unquestionably reliable.
Exactly. I'd imagine that a trained, intelligent animal is very, very reliable for the simple task of locating mines and other undersea hazards.
All I want to know is what rank and MOS the dolphins hold in their career field? I would imagine that the field is pretty technical, so there's probably a good reup bonus involved, perhaps some proficiency pay as well.
Do you salute dolphin officers? (I'm assuming that they would count as allied officers, at least) What proportion of the Navy is made up of non-bipedal sailors? Are they being promoted fairly? There's a lot we need to clear up about this.
The Taco Bell Chihuahua has bigger balls than the French.
Exactly. If they are so incredibly intelligent, maybe they do perceive what is going on, and are all too happy to help!
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
I wouldn't be at all surprised if they do. I've read extensively about dolphins, and their intellectual abilities are always quite surprising.
If nothing else, their social structures and interactions in the wild are quite complex, involving shifting alliances, rivalries, psychological trickery, and "wars" -- they shouldn't have much trouble grasping the concepts and needs of human warfare.
Maybe a little more than that...
Once they find out that the dolphins signed up rather then were drafted they will quickly become, "not real dolphins"
Okay, pull the dolphins and let's see how long the PETA members can hold their breath.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.