GIMME SHELTER: The Hilarious Human Shields

The Iconoclast ^ | March 1, 2003 | Linn Anderson

[M-cubed]

My thoughts exactly...Sometimes you just gotta let them have their way!...Im headed to the local peace demonstration to offer free tickets to all those that really want to make a difference...

[swheats]

Reminds me of the kids game Red Rover. Someone gave them the wrong info on smart bombs.

[freedumb2003]

APPLICATION TO BE A HUMAN SHIELD

Name:_____________________________ (Scrawl 'X' if needed)

QUALIFICATIONS Circle appropriate answer:

1. Do you have a brain? Yes No
   If "Yes" please stop. You are not qualified for this position
2. Are you easily led by idiot whackos with no plan to speak of? Yes No
   If "No" please stop. You are not qualified for this position
3. Are you employed? Yes No
   If "Yes" explain on a separate sheet of paper why in the world you are filling out this application.

If you have filled all questions above completedly and have reached this point in the application, you are qualified. Congratulations and welcome to the group. Your name will be forwarded to the Darwin Society.

[Emeraldgold]

if he has and has renounced his U.S. citizenship does that mean we don't have to let him back into the country and that includes Hawaii? Maybe he can live in the people's utopia called North Korea.

[freedumb2003]

>>I thought at first, the tears referred to his "lost loves" back in jail... <<

The Q & A about tears wasn't generally correct. In most gangs they work one of two ways: 1 -- A certain number of "empty" tears are tattooded -- this represents the number of people you are supposed to kill to get full standing in the gang. Each murder is recorded by filling in a teardrop. 2; -- they represent the number of people killed or that the wearer has killed at least once (usually filled in).

The use of them as counting dead homies may be in some areas, but here in L.A. they would have hundreds of tears if that were the case.

[sweetliberty]

ROTFL! Thanks for the laugh. Things have been getting way too serious around here lately

Giggle ping.

[sweetliberty]

"You can send them an email, which they will post on the site, telling them exactly what you think of them."

Isn't that kinda like shooting fish in a barrel?

[lizm_77]

I'm hoping this movement will grow and attract some of America's outspoken celebrities, I really think they would make good human shields.

[BobbyDJ]

PLEASE stand your ground [in iraq] OR have you become PANTY SHEILDS ??? Bobbydj

[swheats]

Another funny one.

[2grit]

What a bunch of panty shields, uhh, pantywaists I mean.

[Itis?itis]

...72-year-old Elaine Martinez of Chicago, provided what I found to be a most telling and endearing answer: "You'd be surprised," Mrs. Martinez told the London Telegraph, "how many members of our team are organic vegetable farmers."

Perhaps Mrs. M is familiar with PETA campaign spokesman Bruce Friedrich and his group's recent notoriety for suggesting that college students drink beer instead of milk. I think it's high time for the animals to start their own sister organization AETP. These folks need their help.

[Trajan88]

I guess these turds think we're gonna play dodge ball like in 5th grade p.e.

Trajan88; TAMU Class of '88

[swheats]

You found your way around I see. Welcome to FR.

[swheats]

You have to see this one. Human shield Britons quit Baghdad

[Trajan88]

Thanks.

The truth is these Britts couldn't find their beloved fish and chips in Bagdaddy so they high-tailed it back to the UK.

Trajan88

[TigersEye]

You gotta read this. ; )

[.30Carbine]

Reality Television has nothing on FR.

[gortklattu]

APPLICATION TO BE A HUMAN SHIELD Name:_____________________________ (Scrawl 'X' if needed)

QUALIFICATIONS Circle appropriate answer:

Do you have a brain? Yes No
If "Yes" please stop. You are not qualified for this position
Do you think Al Gore should be our President?
Is Tom Daschle tall?
Are you easily led by idiot whackos with no plan to speak of? Yes No
If "No" please stop. You are not qualified for this position
Are you employed? Yes No
If "Yes" explain on a separate sheet of paper why in the world you are filling out this application. If you're a member of the ACLU or the DNC please state so.

If you have filled all questions above completedly and have reached this point in the application, you are qualified. Congratulations and welcome to the group. Your name will be forwarded to the Darwin Society.