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SADDAM BACKS OUT OF BUSH DEBATE; WILL DEBATE GORE INSTEAD
borowitz ^ | borowitz

Posted on 02/26/2003 7:36:59 AM PST by Sir Gawain

SADDAM BACKS OUT OF BUSH DEBATE; WILL DEBATE GORE INSTEAD

Makes Switch After Watching Debates From 2000 Race

One day after challenging President George W. Bush to an internationally televised debate, Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein reversed course today, opting to debate former Vice President Al Gore instead.

According to aides close to the Iraqi President, Saddam made the surprising decision to debate Mr. Gore after reviewing tapes of the 2000 presidential debates between Mr. Bush and the then-Vice President.

“Saddam was prepping for the debate and he was like, ‘Man, where’d they dig up that stiff?’” one aide to the Iraqi madman said.

The Iraqi dictator immediately backed out of his debate with Mr. Bush in favor of one with Mr. Gore, telling aides, “Even that stupid body-double of mine who used to be a basket-weaver could beat this loser.”

After intense negotiations with the Gore camp, Saddam’s advisors gained approval for their choice to moderate the debate, the acerbic Simon Cowell of the TV series “American Idol.”

“Saddam is a big fan of Simon's,” one aide said. “He’s the only person on TV who’s more brutal than Saddam.”

Mr. Gore started the debate with Saddam in typical fashion, launching into a forty-minute monologue on the Social Security trust fund before being interrupted by a visibly irritated Mr. Cowell.

“You are a tedious, tedious excuse for a human being,” Mr. Cowell said. “You have no future in politics whatsoever.”

While most observers agreed that Mr. Gore lost the debate with Saddam, Commander-in-Chief Tommy Franks of the U.S. Central Command said that a tape of Mr. Gore’s performance would be beamed into Iraq in the weeks ahead, rendering Saddam’s elite Republican Guard unconscious in advance of a U.S. invasion.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: dinglenorwood; excessivemakeup; lockbox; riskyscheme; runslikeagirl; sigh

1 posted on 02/26/2003 7:36:59 AM PST by Sir Gawain
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To: Billthedrill; Cyber Liberty; dead; Victoria Delsoul; Fiddlstix; glock rocks; nunya bidness; ...
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2 posted on 02/26/2003 7:37:20 AM PST by Sir Gawain
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To: Sir Gawain
This is a joke, right?


3 posted on 02/26/2003 7:40:09 AM PST by unixfox (Close the borders, problem solved !)
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To: Sir Gawain
Just a reminder:

If you want to do your own email to fight the RATS Cyberattack day against the President, here are the email addresses for the President and Vice President:

President George W. Bush: president@whitehouse.gov


Vice President Richard Cheney: vice.president@whitehouse.gov

I made sure I put in my subject line -- LIBERATE IRAQI PEOPLE -- SUPPORT THE WAR AGAINST SADDAM
4 posted on 02/26/2003 7:40:33 AM PST by PhiKapMom (Bush/Cheney 2004)
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To: PhiKapMom
How can he debate someone who would agree with him? That would not meet the definition of DEBATE>
5 posted on 02/26/2003 7:42:54 AM PST by Conspiracy Guy (RW&B)
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To: Sir Gawain

6 posted on 02/26/2003 7:46:15 AM PST by Oldeconomybuyer (Let's Roll)
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To: Flurry
You have that right! Gore and Saddam together -- now that would be interesting!
7 posted on 02/26/2003 7:48:28 AM PST by PhiKapMom (Bush/Cheney 2004)
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To: Sir Gawain
What about Dingell Norwood?

I'll bet Saddam didn't say a g-damn thing about Dingell Norwood!

8 posted on 02/26/2003 7:55:25 AM PST by dead
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To: dead
ha, ha. I think Gore is a Dingell Norwood!
9 posted on 02/26/2003 8:06:39 AM PST by beaversmom
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To: Sir Gawain
Thanks for the morning laughs.
10 posted on 02/26/2003 8:09:35 AM PST by Fred Mertz
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To: Sir Gawain
U da Man!........most excellent, however, I was hoping for a reference to "Dingell-Norwood" somewhere in your plot line....LOL
11 posted on 02/26/2003 8:18:04 AM PST by ken5050
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To: Sir Gawain
"SADDAM BACKS OUT OF BUSH DEBATE; WILL DEBATE GORE INSTEAD."

Well. That shouldn't take long...

12 posted on 02/26/2003 12:57:46 PM PST by redhead (Our complaint manager is Helen Waite. If you have a complaint, just go to Helen Waite.)
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To: Sir Gawain
Mr. Gore started the debate with Saddam in typical fashion, launching into a forty-minute monologue on the Social Security trust fund before being interrupted by a visibly irritated Mr. Cowell. “You are a tedious, tedious excuse for a human being,” Mr. Cowell said. “You have no future in politics whatsoever.”

That's true, but remember he invented the Internet. The man is a genius.


13 posted on 02/26/2003 6:47:16 PM PST by Victoria Delsoul
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