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The Ultimate Martial Art (Practiced by the Royal Canadian Mounted Spetznaz-RCMS)
Royal Canadian Mounted Spetznaz .com ^
Posted on 02/07/2003 1:56:10 AM PST by spetznaz
Glorious History of the Royal Canadian Mounted Spetsnaz
The amazing history of the heroic founders and lineage holders of the Royal Canadian Mounted Spetsnaz. Warning: If you read this you might begin to worship these larger-than-life heros as gods. This is acceptable.
1917
It was the cold winter of 1917 in Northern Russia. A small band of Cossack soldiers were left to protect a secret store of vodka. Having helped themselves to an ample supply of the warming beverage this brave band of men became disoriented under white-out conditions. One of the Cossack commanders, claiming to have seen a troupe of circus midgets taunting him in the distance, led a charge northward into the blizzard.
Alas, the brave heros found no such circus midgets and quickly became lost in the arctic circle. many of the men perished and were eaten, thier skin worn as clothing.
The survivors eventually crossing the arctic circle into Canada where they set up camp in the wilderness.
The remaining men found their new home inhospitable as a plentiful supply of vodka was nowhere to be found, and yet they carried on.
They learned to live off the land and survive on the local "beer", and inferior substitute for vodka. In the mean time they honed their martial skills by observing the animals around them- the squirrel, the newt, the moose, the bear, and of course, the sasquatch.
The long, cold Canadian nights being what they were, and given the fact that this band of worshipful heros was all men, these adventurers turned to the closest humanoids to help continue their glorious bloodline. Many of the men mated with, married, and were welcomed into sasquatch families. The resulting superior offspring are the ancestors of todays Royal Canadian Mounted Spetsnaz.
The mixing of the species has provided with some natural genetic advantages. The sasquatch superior strength, hiding abilities, and ability to propel feces at extremely high velocities combined with the humans ability for language, and toolmaking - make the RCMS a superhuman band of heros.
1944
With the start of World War II, Canada was looking to overcome its image as a country of disgusting pacifists. Naturally they looked to our glorious ancestors for help. The Royal Canadian Mounted Spetsnaz was formed as the most elite and deadly special forces unit ever produced by North America. A band of 6 of these unarmed soldiers layed waste to the German city of Heidelberg with bare hands alone. One of the brave band punched a hole in the wall of Heidelburgh castle to capture the world's largest wine cask, an important strategic blow to Axis powers.
Today
Today the RCMS spend all their time in meditation, honing their martial skills, and beating the out of wusses who deserve it. They have since relocated to an undisclosed Slavic country where they are more free to practice their finely honed art. But if you can find them, and you have enough alcohol, you might just be able to learn some of the secrets of the Royal Canadian Mounted Spetsnaz.
(Picture not yet available .....awaiting declassification)
TOPICS: Announcements; Canada; Culture/Society; Editorial; Foreign Affairs; Free Republic; Miscellaneous; Political Humor/Cartoons; Russia; Unclassified
KEYWORDS: brucelee; canada; chopsuey; martialarts; mounties; russia; spetznaz
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To: spetznaz
bump for teppo-jutsu ....
21
posted on
02/07/2003 4:05:09 PM PST
by
Centurion2000
(Chance favors the prepared mind.)
To: spetznaz
(Pushing a pal's nasal bone into their cranium is not a good thing) Hate to break it to you but that is a fairytale. Study Fairbairn. It is battle proven.
Happy trails.
To: spetznaz
I am thinking of studying batto-do.
23
posted on
02/07/2003 4:55:19 PM PST
by
Poohbah
(Beware the fury of a patient man -- John Dryden)
To: Aura Of The Blade
I once did it and the sucker dropped to the floor writhing in pain ...and it was not even a hard strike. It works.
24
posted on
02/07/2003 5:01:23 PM PST
by
spetznaz
(my foot can travel faster than your mind!)
To: spetznaz
Anyways Krav Maga is a great art, and it is extremely applicable for self defense, however if what someone wants is 'self expression' then they better look at Ving Tsun or wushu! I am looking into KM now, although I have some physical issues (bypass surgery 2 years ago- ribcage opened from top to bottom). I am willing to accept tough training sessions- so I am looking for an instructor now to discuss these with.
I am interested in a no-BS, no frills, effective form for serious defense, to build upon what I learned in the Corps.
25
posted on
02/07/2003 5:08:24 PM PST
by
Riley
To: RaceBannon
Comments?
26
posted on
02/07/2003 5:23:41 PM PST
by
OKSooner
To: Riley; Britton J Wingfield
The good thing Riley about KM is that you do not have to possess the physique of a 19 yr old Olympian athlete to do it. Its moves are 100% pragmatic and hence they have no frills and stunts. It is basically pure self-defence and no B.S.
Hence i think it would be a great choice for you.
Maybe Britton J Wingfield may tell you of his own experience.
27
posted on
02/07/2003 5:58:01 PM PST
by
spetznaz
(my foot can travel faster than your mind!)
To: spetznaz
There is much fraud in the martial arts industry. Many onwers of martial arts schools claim to be something they're not. For example, the head instructor of a kenpo school in my town is only a brown belt. He was instantly promoted to master when he assumed full ownership of the dojo after the originial owners of the school decided to retire.
28
posted on
02/07/2003 8:07:16 PM PST
by
Kuksool
(Fight The Axis of Evil: ACLU, NEA, & NOW)
To: spetznaz; All
Hey, everyone, thanks for all the info! As someone said, the martial arts have change quite a bit in a relatively short time (considering how old the basic arts are).
I will look further into KM and JKD, plus maybe a bit of jujitsu. It will be fun, at any rate. webstersII
To: webstersII; spetznaz; All
web, if you're looking for something for "fun", I suggest a good cardio kick-boxing class.
If you're looking for something for practical purposes, visit a few different schools and watch several classes. They shouldn't have a problem with that.
Look at what is taught, and just as importantly, HOW it is presented. And talk to some of the students.
Usually, a good Muay Thai school will provide both fun and practical application.
Spetz, re: your tagline -
(your tongue can move faster than your brain!)
30
posted on
02/07/2003 8:29:46 PM PST
by
dogbrain
To: dogbrain
Please explain why
31
posted on
02/07/2003 8:48:35 PM PST
by
spetznaz
(Huh?)
To: No.6
UR#8)...............bttt!
The 'secret' Secret of Karate!
(NEVER use an empty hand!)
:-)
32
posted on
02/07/2003 8:54:04 PM PST
by
maestro
To: OKSooner
many points are being left out here, it is not the man in the fight, it is the fight in the man.
As a bouncer, I faced mostly drunks, no real fighters. Stand-up fights were rare, but the traditional fighting training styles (Kempo; Shotokan; TKD) all came into play for having the precense of mind to step aside or block, but the real problem was solved when you stepped in and gave the guy one whether he got one in on you or not.
As for Muy Thai being a better fighting style, that depends on whether the TKD guy trains to fight for real or for tournement. Muy Thai fights for real all the time, while TKD is the new 'Gentleman's Martial Art' sport style, not done for fighting, really, but if youknow how to kick, and a decnt TKD guy does, if he has heart, I would place even money on the guy. Again, that is because the Muy Thai guy trains for battle, not tournement. If the TKD guy trainsed like his front teeth depended on it, he would do well against a Muy Thai guy.
My times in the bars fighting was doen from a standing start, to a grapple take out, and the occasional takedown, wrestle for top position, then a hair grab out the door with an arm bar.
I was especially impressed with Hapkido and the joint lock techniques, all the punches and kicks of TKD with all the techniques of Juijitsu added in, just when were you supposed to master all this?? :)
I disagree that a TKD practitioner aint good enough to fight most stand-up fighters because of 'flashy kicks'. I know some guys that blew the roofs off the Karate guys, whether Shotokan or Kenpo or Kempo or whatever, it depends on the school and the individual. I know guys that threw kicks faster than 99% of any punches I ever saw thrown, and with great accuracy, too. And I did some boxing for a while, too, these TKD kickers were fast, it is just the 'style' that TKD has become, a sport, not a combat art intraining.
If the training of the student is centered on fighting and genuine self defense, TKD is awsome for kicking and punching, but if the instructer is concerned in having a 'family martial arts center', then you aint gonna get that!
If I could only change the mental aspect of what I have learned in TKD, I would gladly face a Muy Thai guy in the ring, (back in the day, anyways!) The difference is in HOW you are trained to fight, not how you are trained to throw punches and kicks.
A good, trained martial artist that knows how to throw a good punch, block correctly, and kick, can be a superior fighter only if he has the heart to be so, not dependant onthe style he was trained in. For standup fighting, TKD is an excellent system. Tai Chi has some great counters to it! And, Hapkido adds the all-round joint locking and takedowns.
All that being said, the ground fight IS where almost all of it ends up! The ultimate fighting I have seen, not too many by the way, has been to rules. A street fight would not go on as long.
There is no way I could beat any of the Gracies now, nor back then, either, but I did used tobelieve I could have held my own against Bad Brad Hefton...back in the day, that is... :)
To: spetznaz
Spetz,
Just wondering if you meant, "Action beats reaction."
34
posted on
02/07/2003 9:01:14 PM PST
by
dogbrain
(...maybe "shield" isn't quite the correct word for them.....)
To: Riley
KM is very physical, but you can easily train within your own limits. There is a emphasis on training while under lots of physical and mental stress, so we usually do a fairly intense warmup every training session. Some people skip the warmup due to health limitations.
Training itself involves a lot of partner work with kick/punch shields, muay thai pads, and focus mitts. It's actually harder to be the guy with the pads than the guy doing the punching. One common exercise consists of running or walking at your partner, who then has to stop you with a front kick. You soak up a lot of blows in training. I'm just getting into higher level stuff where we use more full-force, and always wear a mouthpiece.
The combatives are somewhat similar to muay thai, or Col. Fairbairn's American Combatives. Since it focuses more on gross motor skill than fine, hammer-fists and palm-heel strikes are common. Kicks are a lot like muay thai. Head-butting is common, though it's emphasized more in Israel than the US. A lot of KM is similar to what my dad learned in the Marine Corps back in the 40s, come to think of it.
It's very aggressive. You fend off the immediate threat (break the choke, block the punch, whatever) and immediately counter-attack. Ideally you never just block, but always counter-punch. Ground fighting has some grappling, but it's always better to kick someone in the head than get him in an arm-bar. We try to stay vertical, and if not then get it over and get back up asap.
Call the local KM school and ask if you can try a class. The one here in Phoenix charges $20 for a trial class, and refunded me when I started with the school. They prbably chareg the fee to keep the classes from being clogged with one-timers.
Also, there are instructional videos. Your local library may have them, and there is one book on the subject. I found it at Borders last week myself.
They encourage us to spar with boxing or muay thai kickboxing, just to get used to being in an actual fight. It's not required, but IMHO it is vital to be able to take a punch and not flinch. Years ago I studied kenpo and boxing at a very good dojo, and the boxing did me more good, since it involved actually trading real punches.
To: Britton J Wingfield
Outstanding! Just the information that I was looking for. I should probably hold off until the Tendonitis in my left arm goes away, so as not to waste their time and mine.
I'll put in some long, fast cardio-walking until then.
Thanks!
36
posted on
02/07/2003 11:38:45 PM PST
by
Riley
To: spetznaz
When I took a martial arts class in college, there was no "sparring," since we were taught to go remove one of our opponent's eyes as the move to follow blocking a punch, etc. If missing eyeballs and crushed tracheas are part of the first three seconds of a fight, there really isn't much of interest that follows.
37
posted on
02/08/2003 4:44:12 AM PST
by
eno_
To: spetznaz
When you deal with the RCMP it is sometimes difficult to know what is real and what is humor. They used to produce a show in BC called "Tales From the RCMP" or something like that. It was a Canadian version of Cops.
The wife and I don't watch much TV but we watched that show every week...it was the funniest thing we had ever seen. Mounties (at least in BC) must stop at all traffic lights and stop signs while in high speed pursuit. The criminal doesn't which makes watching it hillarious to watch.
Canada finally got so offended by the humor with which the show was being received in America that they pulled it (at least in our area).
To: No.6; All
For the record, since you will probably ask, I'm in Tang Soo Do currently, with prior training in JKD, Kali, Thai boxing, and many years of fencing. Glock-jutsu still has more street applicability, though :) What is your opinion about getting black belt in JKD and after that learning Aikido from good teachers? Is it a good combination?
39
posted on
02/08/2003 5:05:45 AM PST
by
A. Pole
To: Riley
"I should probably hold off until the Tendonitis in my left arm goes away, so as not to waste their time and mine."YOU TOO? I have had Aikido caused "tennis elbow" for about four months. Doc says to stop Aikido which I will not do, because not only is it superb cardio exercise, I have actually used it and find it works very well. It has made me much calmer, too. LOL
Since I teach in an inner city high school, it is helpful to know something that does not require some form of punch or kick which school liberals...ahhhhh I mean OFFICIALS would consider an unacceptable use of force even while exercising lawful right of self defense....teachers get assaulted all the time.
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