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'Dead' man shocks family by asking for a drink
The Sunday Times ^
| January 26, 2003
| Bruce Johnston
Posted on 01/25/2003 4:43:32 PM PST by MadIvan
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To: Mr. Mulliner
Adrian Plass rocks!
61
posted on
01/25/2003 11:40:00 PM PST
by
Othniel
(('Scuse me while I enjoy the view from the bouncy castle.......))
To: MadIvan
"Old Uncle Giuseppe hasn't got me yet. Both he and paradise can wait,"May he live to be 110!
62
posted on
01/25/2003 11:43:20 PM PST
by
Aracelis
To: MadIvan
As his daughters Rosaria and Anna sat with other friends and relations weeping over his corpse, the nearly-departed Mr De Simone opened his eyes and in a plaintive voice said: "I'd like some water, please. You know, I'm awfully thirsty." Oh Gosh that would have freaked me out .. *L*
63
posted on
01/25/2003 11:47:11 PM PST
by
Mo1
(I Hate The Party of Bill Clinton)
To: Mr. Mulliner
Did you read that in an e-mail? I have received something on e-mail a few times about life in the dark ages. Very entertaining stuff, but I highly doubt a good bit of it. An old e-mail purporting to explain the origin of common phrases. Note another poster with a similar reply and the other common meaing for the expression.
64
posted on
01/26/2003 12:26:47 AM PST
by
Myrddin
To: tscislaw
This is why my grandmother insisted that she be cremated. Apparently there were many cases in the 1800s where people were buried but not dead. Chilling thought!
Carolyn
65
posted on
01/26/2003 4:07:00 AM PST
by
CDHart
To: CDHart
Custer had a joke he played on drunken troopers who passed out.
He would place them in a coffin and nail it shut.
The hammering would wake them up... then they heard the Last Words. HA!
66
posted on
01/26/2003 4:31:57 AM PST
by
johnny7
(Senator Clinton has had a stroke! Senator Kennedy needs more Dewars! Oh God!)
To: MadIvan
Bah! This story is merely one person. Where I work, the dead come to life every day.... at quitting time. ( An oldie but a goodie).
67
posted on
01/26/2003 4:59:14 AM PST
by
driftless
( For life-long happiness, learn how to play the accordion.)
To: carpio; Arthur McGowan
"I am guessing this thread will break the 1200 posts mark!"
It has a better chance of getting there if we ping Arthur Mcgowan.
68
posted on
01/26/2003 5:20:59 AM PST
by
Rebelbase
(Rock with Celtic roots at http://www.sevennations.com)
To: Chad Fairbanks
Well, you've heard the one about the fellow who showed up at a cathedral to answer the ad. about needed a bellringer.
He looked kinda goofy, but the priest let him go up the belltower, says, "Show me what you can do." The guy backs up to the wall, takes a running start, jumps up and rings one of the bells with his head. Sounds great. "Are you O.K.?" "Yeah, this is the way I always do it." "I don't believe it." Guy takes another run at the bell, misses, sails out of the window and down to the street below.
A crowd gathers. As the priest runs down the stairs and out into the street, the policeman comes up. He looks at the priest and says, "Did you know this man?"
Priest says, "Officer, I don't know his name, but his face rings a bell."
Part II:
Another guy shows up to answer the ad. He says he's the brother of the other guy and he's determined to retrieve the family honor. After much reluctance, the priest lets him try. Same stupid method, same result. Guy sails out the window and down to the square. A crowd gathers. Policeman asks the same question, and the priest replies,
. . . .. drum roll please . . . .
"I don't know his name, but he's a dead ringer for his brother."
bada bing.
69
posted on
01/26/2003 5:39:12 AM PST
by
AnAmericanMother
(. . . sorry, couldn't help myself, isn't every day you find an excuse to tell that one . . .)
To: AnAmericanMother
I was waiting for someone to come along and tell those two jokes.
70
posted on
01/26/2003 5:52:35 AM PST
by
Mr. Mulliner
(I could be a really good Christian if other people didn't mess me up all the time. - Adrian Plass)
To: Mr. Mulliner
I used to hear there was a third one in the series (NOT serious :-D ), but I've never heard it.
Anybody know it?
To: Myrddin
Dead ringer comes from an old practice of burying the coffin with a string Zat zounds rrrrreasonable to mee!
Seriously though...I have a question since you seem to have a handle on the meaning of obscure axioms.
Do you know the source of "The whole nine yards"?
I want to believe that it refers to a man's wardrobe where it was customary to be fitted for a jacket, vest and 2 pairs of slacks...requiring approximately nine yards of material. (i.e. "Give me the whole nine yards!")
I've been told there's another meaning but I just don't buy it.
72
posted on
01/26/2003 7:01:36 AM PST
by
Bloody Sam Roberts
(Sure wish we could use HTML down here.)
To: tscislaw
I never knew why. Maybe it was in case the dead woke up like this guy did.This is where the term "working the grave shift" came from. They did it to see if this exact thing would happen, and sometimes did, as in this case.
73
posted on
01/26/2003 7:29:29 AM PST
by
Mark17
To: AnAmericanMother
LOL... thanks, I was waiting for those, as well... :0)
74
posted on
01/26/2003 8:57:44 AM PST
by
Chad Fairbanks
(We've got Armadillos in our trousers. It's really quite frightening.)
To: Bloody Sam Roberts
Unca Cecil Adams had a whole long ongoing discussion on this one . . . the answer apparently is that there IS no answer.
Cecil, What's the Origin of "The Whole Nine Yards"?
BTW, some folks (including my ggg grandfather) requested in their wills that a major vein be opened before they were buried, so that everybody was SURE they were dead. (Hope somebody read their wills some time before they were planted! Maybe that was the custom then. . . )
75
posted on
01/26/2003 11:19:39 AM PST
by
AnAmericanMother
(. . . frankly, life these days seems a good deal less complicated in some ways . . .)
To: Mr. Mulliner
I had not thought of that but I suppose the term "dead ringer" actually did refer to this practice at one time.
To: nicollo
A toast for "Ode to a Haggis" is in order....
77
posted on
01/26/2003 3:02:24 PM PST
by
P.O.E.
(Go Bucs!)
To: Bloody Sam Roberts
Do you know the source of "The whole nine yards"? The attribution I've heard for "the whole nine yards" relates to the length of belt-fed ammo loaded onto a fighter aircraft. It was 27 feet in length. A pilot that expended his entire supply of ammo used "the whole nine yards".
78
posted on
01/26/2003 7:11:09 PM PST
by
Myrddin
To: P.O.E.
*bump*
79
posted on
01/27/2003 6:56:41 PM PST
by
nicollo
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