Arabs Condemn (Shuttle) Launch (w/Israeli Astronaut)

Little Green Footballs ^ | 1.17.02 | Charles Johnson

[mhking]

Arabs Condemn Launch

The enigmatic and erudite E. Nough has unearthed a shocking story from the al-Jee'ef news wire:

ARAB LEAGUE CONDEMNS NASA LAUNCH
Arab street 'explodes' in the wake of 'illegal Zionist occupation' of Earth orbit

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates (al-Jee'ef) - The Arab League "strongly condemned" today the launch of the NASA space shuttle Columbia with Israeli astronaut Col. Ilan Ramon on board. "This is surely but the first step towards complete and outright illegal Zionist occupation of space," said Arab League spokesman Abr Souffla. "We will not sit idly by and permit this usurpation of a cosmos that by birthright belongs to the Palestinian people and their Arab and Muslim brethren. The Israeli occupation of Palestine must end, and the Zionists must not be permitted any further territorial grabs of Historic Palestine, whether in the West Bank or in low earth orbit."

In Gaza City today, thousands of Palestinians marched in the streets, many firing weapons into the air. "With our blood and our souls, we will strike the orbital Zionists," chanted the protestors. Sheikh Yermani-Makr, appearing on Palestinian television, said, "It is not enough that the unbelievers have come on our land, but now they also take our heavens? How can this be permitted?" Palestinian youths also took to the streets in Nablus, chanting, "One! two! Where's the Arab manned space program?" In Nablus, three Palestinian youths were dragged through the streets by members of the al-Aksa Martyrs Brigade, who accused them of being "collaborators." Witnesses said that the teenagers were heard making positive statements about the American science fiction program Star Trek, several of whose main characters were played by Jewish actors. Reports of the teenagers having received "atomic wedgies" were unconfirmed.

In New York today, UN Secretary General Kofi Annan said that an Israeli presense in space is "unhelpful" and would only serve to further aggravate tensions between Israelis and Arabs. The sentiment was echoed from Madrid by EU representative Javier Solana, who said that what the Middle East needed was more negotiation, and "less cosmic adventurism."

Yaser Arafat's live speech on the Qatar-based pan-Arab satellite network al-Jazeera today was quickly discontinued as he began talking about "Martyrs by the millions, floating toward Jupiter."

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[ErnBatavia]

I don't know why they're so upset; afer all, there is now one less Israeli on the face of the earth....

[sheik yerbouty]

"Orbital Zionists"..ROFL!

[anniegetyourgun]

This was even funnier!

[mhking]

This is from Onion right?

It's so absurd, I wish it were. But, sadly, it's the real deal.

[Cyber Liberty]

I suppose next they'll strongly condemn the Sun and the Moon having chosen the East from which to rise.

[TexKat]

These actually are some real nut cases. Go figure.

[spetznaz]

LOL. Even if it were a true story i doubt i would be laughing much harder than i am now. Truly hilarious.

Was it from the Onion?

[Liberal Classic]

Ooooh! Jews make me so angry!

[yonif]

I recall reading that Nasa allowed a Saudi to be on one of its flights a few years ago.

[mhking]

Was it from the Onion?

No, E.Nough is a semi-regular contributor cited over at LGF (think of the verbal equivalent of Registered...).

[lexington minuteman 1775]

Gee, zionist occupation in space? Ariel Sharon ought to comment using the words of that immortal bard, Bugs Bunny:"I hope you know this means war."

[OXENinFLA]

"We will not sit idly by and permit this usurpation of a cosmos that by birthright belongs to the Palestinian people and their Arab and Muslim brethren.

NOW THEY OWN THE UNIVERSE??????

[xp38]

Mel Blanc is speechless.

[Thinkin' Gal]

Jews in Space

When Goyim attack us
We'll give 'em a smack
We'll slap 'em right back in the the face

[pitinkie]

"In New York today, UN Secretary General Kofi Annan said that an Israeli presense in space is "unhelpful" and would only serve to further aggravate tensions between Israelis and Arabs. The sentiment was echoed from Madrid by EU representative Javier Solana, who said that what the Middle East needed was more negotiation, and "less cosmic adventurism."

Screw you Annan!

[Exeter]

In other news, Sheik Ali Als Infree, head of the Palestinian Orbital Operations Program (P.O.O.P.) has announced that their glorious leader Yassar Arafat has decided to resume the Palestinian space program to counter the insidious Zionist ambitions. Mr. Arafat has committed nearly $400 to restore to full operational status both catapults that had been temporarily shut down when a shortage of astronaut-pilots had forced suspension of the space program. But with the announcement of this latest attempt by the Israelis to seize space for their own nefarious purposes Sheik Infree feels confident that those who fail to qualify for the suicide-bomber program will make excellent astronaut-trainees. More as this story develops...

[Ben Hecks]

Yes. Shuttle Mission STS 51-G, Al Saud, Saudi Arabia, was a payload specialist.