Robert Burns must be saved

1-=12-03 | Me

[jocon307]

I love the poet Robert Burns, and I have long been aware that celebrations of his birthday on Jan. 25 are traditional. Surfing the web for more info. regarding this I am alarmed to find that Mr. Burns, and his birthday, and it's traditional celebration via "Burns Night Suppers" seem to have been co-opted by the literary lefties. Surely we can do better than this. Any info on VRWC Burns suppers being held will be appreciated by me. And if there are none, maybe we should start one. I warn you all, one is supposed to eat haggis at such an event. I, myself, will stick to the whiskey. The left can't have Robbie; seeking Freeper help here.

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[185JHP]

DYK if Robert Burns wrote the line "I want a Highland friend who's with me not only when I'm right, but when I'm a little bit wrong."?

[jocon307]

Sounds a wee bit modern to me, but certainly in his spirit. Here's the url for a pretty comprehensive web site: www.robertburns.org Maybe you can find the quote there!

[Riley]

Maybe we could celebrate Rudyard Kipling's birthday too. A day at the range with Martini-Henrys and rum and bully beef in the evening by the fire.
Not too much rum; there's a 'stand-to' in the morning before sunrise. :-)

[Stefan Stackhouse]

Here's a verse many FReepers will appreciate:

Scotts, wha hae wi' Wallace bled,
Scots, wham Bruce has aften led,
Welcome to your gory bed,
Or to victory!

Now's the day, and now's the hour;
See the front o' battle lour,
See approach proud Edward's power--
Chains and slavery!

Wha will be a traitor knave?
Wha can fill a coward's grave?
Wha sae base as be a slave?--
Let him turn, and flee!

Wha for Scotland's King and Law
Freedom;s sword will strongly draw,
Freeman stand or freeman fa',
Let him follow me!

By Oppression;s woes and pains,
By your sons in servile chains,
We will drain our dearest veins,
But they shall be free!

Lay the proud usurpers low!
Tyrants fall in every foe!
Liberty's in every blow!
Let us do, or die!

(From "Robert Bruce's March to Bannockburn")

[Slainte]

Literary lefties co-opting Burns Day. I'm suprised. I'd have thought the very mention of Haggis! would be enough to put them off their supper for a good while, and I'm reasonably certain there's no adequate tofu substitute for the key ingredients.

Address to a Haggis
FAIR fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o' the pudding-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Well are ye wordy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.

The groaning trencher there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o' need,
While thro' your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.

His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An' cut you up wi' ready sleight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like ony ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!

Then, horn for horn, they stretch an' strive:
Deil tak the hindmost! on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve,
Are bent lyke drums;
Then auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
``Bethankit!'' hums.

Is there that owre his French ragout
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricasse wad mak her spew
Wi' perfect sconner,
Looks down wi' sneering, scorfu' view
On sic a dinner?

Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank, a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro' bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!

But mark the Rustic, haggis fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread.
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll mak it whissle;
An' legs an' arms, an' heads will sned,
Like taps o' thrissle.

Ye Pow'rs wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o' fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies;
But, if ye wish her gratefu' prayer,
Gie her a haggis!

[prisoner6]

Well my family has held "faux" Burn Night Suppers, for years. Problem is Wife and Kidz won't go near a haggis so I've come up with some ....creative...variations. Sometimes I mix ground beef, pork and lamb with oats, seasonings and a few "secret ingredients" then case the result. Once I cased it in Filo dough...NOT a good thing! The dough soaked up the grease and it took on a life of it's own. I think the result is alive and well in that dark corner of The Basement along with some of my more bizarre experiments gone bad and the local rat pack.

Sometimes I'll just leave it like a meat loaf, which is probably best. Wife and Kidz will douse it with Sweet Baby Ray's sauce and eat a couple of spoonfulls before remembering a previous engagement or finding some other lame excuse to get up from the table.

GOOD! MORE FOR ME!

No matter what, I can usually bribe Oldest Son into playing his bagpipes or we'll at least have pipes on the CD.

Every other year or so I'll attempt a few readings or recitations with the result of Wife and Kidz bored to death by the end of the evening. But I'm committed to bring culture to the heathens and I've found the use of an occasional a cus word, stomp of the foot, or knocking over and breaking of a piece of glassware will generally recapture their attention, short as that span may be.

Sadly we don't have kilts, that despite my trying to coax Wife - a darn good seamstress - into making some. She refuses on the same ground thats led her to throw out all my shorts and swimsuits. she claims it has something about being in the interest of The Public Health and preventing corruption of children.

HAH! Ever since I saw Patrick on The ScreenSavers wearing a Utility Kilt - UTILIKILTS ARE FOR REAL MEN! - I've been saving my pennies and dimes and am now just a few bucks short of placing an order. Too late for this year, but I can also wear it to several annual local functions, our "All Years High School Reunion" over the 4th Holiday comes to mind, so I'll have plenty of opportunities to make an impression and leave Wife the envy of all the other local gals.

This year I've already reached an agreement with Oldest Son. I layed the groundwork by giving all the Kidz a Dirk for Christmas. Ok not a REAL Dirk but a really nice Victorinox Knife - the "Fireman" model to those in the know.

Now that WAS a risky move, putting sharp and possibly deadly impliments in their hands, but I was philisophical and figured if I was going to be done in they'd find a way with or without the knives. Besides it gave me a chance to leture about our Scottish Heritage and all whilst laying a guilt trip on them just in the month before The Dinner.

Then there was the negotiations over Oldest Son's latest fashion accessory, a fish hook in his lower lip. I swear one of these days I'm gonna sneak up with a pair of pliers and remove it, but he OFFERED to play his pipes and parade with me thi year IF he could keep it. So, He's playing and the fish hook stays...at least until after The Dinner.

Besides it might fit in well with the other seasonal observance of my clan, the Up-Helly-Aa festival shortly following The Dinner. An example of the real event can be found here: Up-Helly Aa

We can't exactly dress up like Vikings, grab swords and shields, parade around the town in a torchlit drunk, and send our ship to Valhalla in a thrilling blaze, but we can consume adequate amouts of brew and build a fire in our stone firepit.

The neighbors have become sort of accustomed to the smoke and flame, but the chanting and druming still gets to them. All in all it is VERY satisfying!

For Burns Night this year we will depart quite a bit from Tradition, though not as much as last year when the only part of the meal I was allowed to make was Jambalaya. This year it will be Leek Soup followed by Fondue.

Yes Fondue.

See for years I hav tried to coax my family into letting me do a fired turkey for Thanksgiving. They always objected on several grounds including but not limited to their misunderstanding that fried turkey is a cholesterol builder. But for my birthday November 4th this year they tried to appease me by giving me a turkey fryer.

I was set but then the danged Consumer Product Safety Commision had to go and make that doom and gloom public service program about how turkey fryers are a public danger. I admit the burst of flame when the presenter - complete with safety gear - put a not quite thawed turkey into an overfilled pot of boiling peanut oil was spectacular and in fitting with the previously mentioned Up-Hella-Aa, but not reprentative of a real turkey fry done by someone competent.

What kind of DORK would put WET food into HOT oil or blindly walk into a fired up fryer knocking it over? The anwswer is the DORKS at the CPSC!

Ok, there was that ONE time when I was helping with the son's scout troop in a booth at a local celebration. But that was just THE ONCE, I SWEAR! The flames were pretty much contained to our booth and the one to our right, there were NO SERIOUS INJURIES, and the governing body even let us return after a probationary period!

So when Family gave me a fryer last year I figured it was a show of support. Then reality set in and I realized it was only to taunt me. My hopes were built only to be smashed when Wife went ahead and got a turkey too big for my fryer. She also mentioned a warning that came by regisetered letter from the fire dempartment, the result of a petition by wimpy neighbors who apparently had access to that danged CPSC turky fryer video.

To make amends for all this, or possibly to taunt me more, or maybe just to avoid another Faux Haggis, Family gave me a Fondue set for Christmas. Along with it came the not too subtle suggestion we could christen it for Burns Night. I was weak with the flu and overwork and agreed.

So this year it will be Fondue for Burns Night a Oldest Son Pipes. And don't let this get around but I have a plan. Along with the pork and chicken we'll have for the fondue will be meatballs. I'm gonna make 'em using my ground beef, pork and lamb recipe so they'll actully be like Mini-Haggis or Haggis Bits!

Wife and Kidz will NEVER catch on!

prisoner6

[Thorondir]

Scorn ye not, me beloved haggis, laddie!

I actually balked at the thought after reading the recipie, but tried it in September while I was in Scotland watching the seventh-century savages of the religion of peace attack my country. Haggis is wonderful. I'm taking my wife and five children back there in March and plan to eat as much of the stuff as possible. Great beer there, too! Wonderful people and scenic landscapes.

I can't wait. Try the stuff if you ever get the chance. Really.

[Consort]

Robert Burns (1759-96)

[capitan_refugio]

My parents lived overseas for about 15 years. Part of that time, they lived in London, near Knightsbridge Station. Visiting one year, and wishing to honor the Scots thread in my pedigree, I picked up a haggis at the food hall at Herrod's.

It certainly was interesting. If I had known what was in it, I probably would not have eaten it. Generally it is served with mashed potatoes and turnips. A fine single malt Scottish whiskey is also customary. Scotland is a hard, tough country. The people are equally as tough, and if they eat this on a regular basis, I understand why.

[prisoner6]

Great beer there, too!

I'm fond of Samuel Smith's Celebated Oatmeal Stout.

prisoner6

[prisoner6]

Celebated=Celebrated

Geesh! And I haven't had my morning Scotch yet.

prisoner6

[Lancey Howard]

DYK if Robert Burns wrote the line "I want a Highland friend who's with me not only when I'm right, but when I'm a little bit wrong."?

I think that was the Monkees.