ATTN: VAST RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY MEMBERS

November 29, 2002 | stopthepress

[tiki]

Ready for my orders, sir. I will mindlessly follow any order given by Rush, Fox News or the other well known Right-wingers. I will believe all that they tell me without a qualm. They are my leaders. I am a mind-numbed robot, and I'm ready and willing to spout the party line wherever and whenever. I will never disagree with "The Great Rush" and will hate all his enemies and love all his friends.

[mdcen]

What about the weight and height? Do I need to go down to the CVS for a certified number or will the bathroom scales and the yardstick in the closet be OK?

[Snowy]

That reminds me, have you caught up on that taking candy from children project?

I'm on that committee. Remember, there's a "starve the school children" meeting set for the first of the month. We still need someone to bring the coffee.

[MHGinTN]

Aw nuts! Now no one will know what the letters on my T-shirt stand for. Red Z's don't look too good on a black background.

[Chad Fairbanks]

That Starve the School Children project sounds good... is there still vacancies on the committee, or did that one fill up as fast I expect it did?

[Snowy]

Well, it is filling up, however, we still need volunteers for the carnival. I'd have to check the signup sheets, but I do believe we still need people to man the "club the baby seal" booth, as well as the "drag a woman by her hair" contest. If you're interested, please let me know soon.

[Chad Fairbanks]

Ooh! I want to do the Seal-Clubbing thing - I have experience in that area...

[Coeur de Lion]

Gentlemen we have accomplished our mission and have successfully infiltrated Hollyweird:

[Chad Fairbanks]

Oh, what a cutsey-wutsey wittle baby harp seal... would you just look at those big sad eyes? BAM!

[PoorMuttly]

...yeah...but what about this damned tattoo ?!!

[Chad Fairbanks]

Just tell people it stands for Very Rich Waterski Club...

[PoorMuttly]

I LIKE it !

[Snowy]

Oh, what a cutsey-wutsey wittle baby harp seal... would you just look at those big sad eyes? BAM!

Very impressive! I have put you down for running that booth. You will be contacted about the next meeting.

[Chad Fairbanks]

And I can bring my own club? A man works better with his wn tools ;0)

[MeekOneGOP]

ATTN: VAST RIGHT WING CONSPIRACY MEMBERS

Excerpt:

We will begin diverting funds from the DNC campaign finance general account to pay for our new membership cards and they will be mailed to you before January 1, 2003.

LOL !

Please let me know if you want ON or OFF my General Interest ping list!. . .don't be shy.

[sarasmom]

Does this merger change my senority on the WMD In Every VRWC Member Home Committee?.

I will be very upset, since I have worked long and hard for our nuclear capabillity,and just when it is within our grasp....

[SKI NOW]

"Remember, there's a "starve the school children" meeting set for the first of the month."

The money diverted from the school lunch program, will that still be used for beer and cigars at the summer clam bake?

[Senator Pardek]

I thought it was Farfegnugen - look that up in you Funk 'n Wagnalls!

[Chad Fairbanks]

Well, I don't see why seniority would be affected...

[anniegetyourgun]

OOOOOhhhhh, I can hardly wait for that one! I had a bit part in it, along with all the other warmongering right wing conspiratorialists. I hear Richard Mellon Scaife financed it, with promo work being done by Roger Ailes. But don't tell anyone about the latter. It might send Tom Daschle off the deep end.

Snowy...great work you're doing on the starve the children effort. I'm working with the Christian Fundamentalists Committee to see to it that sex in the privacy of your own home is outlawed for good. You know our motto - If sex is outlawed, only outlaws will have sex.