Vanity- Tongue piercing

[Trust but Verify]

We have an 18 year-old daughter who wants to get her tongue pierced. We have been adamantly against any piercings for our son, and any that go beyond regular ear piercing for our daughter. We have, essentially forbidden this as well as tatooing. We feel it is a passing phase with more permanent repercussions.

Today my daughter plead her case for having it done, saying it is something she wants and can do with or without our permission now that she is 18.

She is a college freshman and is struggling with her 'identity' as such, and I think she thinks this is going to make her feel more grown-up and independent.

I'm almost to the point of telling her to do what she wants, but I know her father will have a fit and then we'll all have to live with the fall-out.

I have always sweated everything, large and small. These days, I only want to sweat the large stuff. My question is, "Is acquiescing on the tongue piercing large or small stuff?"

[AJ504]

I have a step-daughter (the wild one) and a daughter. The wild one did whatever she pleased. Her disruptive rear end was shown the door...and has struggled financially ever since....with a fatherless child, no less.

The younger one grew up saying she would never do the things the older one did... and lived up to her word. Even though she didn't want to go to college, she has a full-time job, works hard, and bought her own home 6 months ago at the age of 21.

For what it's worth, my sister was in your shoes. Her son had numerous piercings, including his tongue. Oh by the way, the poor boy had a heart attack last month...also age 21. He tested negative for drugs.

Coincidence? I think not! Good luck!

[Paulus Invictus]

I'm suprised you would have to ask others. As a father and grandfather, and if she were related to me, I would tell her to do as she likes as a new adult, but don't presume that I approve. I would disapprove so much as to tell her that I would not contribute to her education or anything else if she were to ask me for such help. I would also tell her that for every action there are consequences. Some consequences are bummers. Tongue piercing is one of them with a high potential for being a bummer for life. Any questions?

[DoctorMichael]

Post #73 + ...........................

..............and when she comes home, tell her she needs to start paying rent for the room and that money will also be needed to pay for the food that she's eating out of your fridge.

[PLK]

Tell her "fine," but any dental damage to her tooth enamel that occurs as a result will come out of her pocketbook alone.

(Assume you are aware of the link between oral sex and wanting a tongue piercing? Maybe you don't know your daughter as well as you thought?)

[txhurl]

You are not helping out here.

[proust]

"last I heard, cunnilingus was performed on the female, not the male."

Well, frankly, a pierced toungue works for both! Guys that look for Bi-girls (and you'd be surprised at the number of college guys they are) look for specific, visual, bi-girl indicators before they approach a girl. Some of the indicators are: short hair, small tattoo on the small of her back, and pierced toungues. These aren't hard and fast rules, but useful guidelines. I am not making this stuff up folks!

[Vidalia]

Tell her it is absolutely fine, as long as she has it pierced and pinned to her forehead...

[Bella_Bru]

It's the truth. It's much easier to get loans and scholarships when you don't have your parents tax forms to take into account.

[Celtjew Libertarian]

I'm generally not bothered by tattoos and piercing. (I have a sister-in-law who got a tattoo and her eyebrow pierced for her 50th birthday and it works on her.) However, the health issues I've heard of with regards to piercing the tongue are rather more significant.

I would probably object, strongly, to my children getting their tongue pierced, but it wouldn't be a reason for me to cut them off financially or anything like that.

[PLK]

And, tongue piercings derived their current popularity from the perception that women can use them to give greater pleasure during fellatio.

Or oral sex with women, if that's your bag. That's why hetero males get it done. At a water park, I saw our 14-year old daughter get "tongue flashed" by an older male teen with a pierced tongue. I thought it was weird and inappropriate, but was told later what it meant. Just an FYI.

[Scully]

My daughter wanted a tattoo when she turned 18. I had forbidden both that and weird piercings until she was of legal age. Upon her 18th birthday, she promptly went out and got a tattoo...but not before I had given her all the facts, both risks to her health and potential social costs. Her grandfather even discussed this with her and showed her long-term what will happen to a tattoo (he got his in the Army...and yes, it's a heart with the word, "MOM" across it). Nevertheless, she went out and got it done.

There is very little I can do about these things now. She makes a living wage and takes care of herself by herself. But some things have stuck from old Mom...she won't have weird piercings done.

[Centurion2000]

lol, I think the term is "fellatio"...not that I've ever done it.

No wonder Muldor always looked pissed on X-files ;)

[Ann Archy]

The "debt" that she would incur by havin her TONGUE PIERCED is IMMEASURABLE!! She might as well have a sandwich sign on her that says.."I Give Blow Jobs"!!

Why are you paying for HER education anyway??/ Can't she work?? People that don't pay their own way ends up with a complex and low self-esteem.

Sorry to be so darn harsh, but she is headed for trouble, and yu are being to easy on her.

[Jason Kauppinen]

I've had no heart attacks or brain tumors. There is a scar, but it's the size of a pinhead.

Then again.... the store I had it done in was _very_ clean and used the same sterilization equipment that hospitals use... so that's probably a big factor.

[Scully]

No wonder Muldor always looked pissed on X-files ;)

ROFL! I was speaking "tongue in cheek", pardon the pun. Mulder is very well taken care of. :-)

[VRWC For Truth]

Do you have another relative, friend, doctor or other professional who your daughter respects side with your point of view? Get them to go over the pros and cons with her and side on the cons. It may help to have an objective 3rd party.

I can't remember any professional woman who has a tongue piercing. Feature film actresses, businesswomen, politicians, lawyers, engineers, and chemists do not. Skanky ho's and sex trade workers generally do.

[lilylangtree]

I understand that tongue piercing makes dentists shudder. Apparently, the teeth get damaged. Find out the real reason for this procedure. Then have her talk to the family dentist and doctor before having the procedure done. My son wanted his nose pierced with a loop because several girls were daring him to do it. I made fun of the process when he told me about it by telling him "go ahead and I'll get a rope and string it through the loop and lead him around like a cow. Better yet let those girls lead him around like big, fat cow." Secretly, I was frightened since he had all ready both his ears pierced. My position had been only one ear pierced. He also shaved his head and later dyed his hair green--all to get a reaction from me. When he saw that it didn't bother me, he let the holes in his ears grow up. He never got the nose loop. When all else fails, negotiate. For example, after she's talked with the medical professionals, suggest piercing the nose like the Hindus instead of the tongue if she's determined to get a part of her body pierced. A piece of sage advice: Pick your fights! You're not going to win them all. Pick the ones you're determined to win.

[Trust but Verify]

From your whining it sounds like they pretty much do as they please!

Really? Did you read my original post at all? This situation has arisen since the oldest turned 18. We are still discussing it, including all the angles, some of which I have heard expressed here. Since she hasn't just gone out and done it, I think you could infer that she isn't just 'doing as she pleases".

[Chancellor Palpatine]

She needs to understand that two very important things run through the tongue - major nerve ganglia and a tremendous blood supply.

She disrupts those, and it afects her for life - its not as simple as multiple ear piercings, eyebrow piercing, nipple piercing or navel piercing, nor can it be hidden like a tattoo.

If she is determined to get it, then at least find out if the place doing it is reputable and clean - and talk to her about oral hygiene after - they frequently stink.

[mamelukesabre]

I know you aren't. Bisexuality is also a fad that has been growing for at least 10 years now. I first heard about it's popularity was on the arizona campus in the early 1990's. I've since heard that it is popular in the iowa universities too.