Pregnancy After Menopause

The Washington Post ^ | 11/12/2002 | Lindsay Tanner

[ladysusan]

Study Backs Post-Menopause Pregnancy

By Lindsey Tanner AP Medical Writer Tuesday, November 12, 2002; 2:43 PM

CHICAGO –– There's no medical reason to prevent healthy women in their 50s from turning back their biological clocks and having babies with donated eggs, researchers say in the biggest study of motherhood after menopause.

[ladysusan]

Please see posted source url for rest of story.

[LisaAnne]

There might not be a medical reason that a woman cannot have a baby after 50, but I think there are sanity issues she might want to consider.

[TXBubba]

And not just sanity issues. I think a person really ought to consider how long they will be around for their kid's lives.

I got started late in life with the kids and it has limited the number I had originally planned to have. I would like to be around for them if possible. Yes, I know, even young parents die, but let's face it, the risk increases with age.

I had a friend in college whose Dad was 76 years old. Now, my parents had me late in life also but that is getting a little bit on the edge. He was already put in the position of elder care and he wasn't even out of college yet. Talk about being in the sandwich generation when you have kids of your own.

[wizr]

My dad was 49 when I was born. He was born in 1898.

My mom was 42. Born in 1905, before Oklahoma was made a State.

Dad died when I was 19. Emphasema and enlarged heart.

Mom died, in my arms, when I was 35. Cancer.

I'm 55 and dearly love my 2 year old granddaughter. But, I would never assume to live long enough to see her fully grown.

[GovernmentShrinker]

A hundred+ years ago, women's life expectancy was much, much lower than it is now, especially when they were bearing children nearly non-stop without beneift of modern medicine, antibiotics, etc. But nobody thought there was anything wrong with a woman in her mid-40s, and very poor health, having yet another baby, even though she wasn't likely to live past 50.

Nowadays, if a perfectly healthy woman wants to have a career for a couple of decades, and then have a couple of children in her early 50s, when her life expectancy suggests she'll almost certainly see them through college, everybody starts starts wringing their hands.

The trend towards medically assisted late child-bearing is coinciding with a trend of abandoning the you-can-have-it-all-at-once myth. Professional women increasingly understand that children need to be raised in their own homes, by their own mothers, and having the children AFTER the career is a way of doing justice to both. It's not for everybody, but I see no reason to condemn it.

[buffyt]

THIS is WHY women MY age and older should NOT have babies.... [I am so HAPPY to be post menopausal it is a BLESSING!]

65 year old mother

With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65 year-old woman gave birth to a baby.
When she was discharged from the hospital, her relatives came to visit.
"May we see the new baby?" one asked. "Not yet," said the 65 year-old mother.
Soon, 10 minutes had passed and another relative asked, "May we see the new baby now?"
"Not yet," said the mother.
Another 10 minutes later, they asked again, "May we see the baby now?"
"No, not yet," replied the mother.
Growing very impatient, they asked, "Well, when CAN we see the baby?"
"When it cries," she told them.
"WHEN IT CRIES??" they demanded. "Why do we have to wait until it CRIES??"
Because," she told them, "I forgot where I put it...."

And THAT is the rest of the story!

[afraidfortherepublic]

Why? I had my fourth child at 26 and am happy that I'm here for my 9 grandchildren, although I'm too stiff to crawl around on the floor with them. Can you imagine if I had to raise them?

I worry about my daughters who didn't start their families until 35 and 38. Will they be there for their children's graduations and weddings? There are no guarantees in life.

[mlmr]

Having brought home my youngest at almost 45 I can vouch that being alomost 50 with a five year old is exhausting!!!

[TXBubba]

Your reply makes it sound like having a baby is all about the mother and her wants and desires. When you become a mom things should be all about the child and its needs. Being an older parent and having a brother and sister-in-law who are older parents I'm not speaking out of the blue. There is a reasonable point at which consideration should be given to life expectancy and quality of life for the child. There are even adoption agencies that limit the age of parents who can adopt based on the sum of their ages. Their reasoning certainly doesn't have anything to do with the physical birthing of a child.

[TXBubba]

Totally agreed. In my earlier post I pointed out that even young parents die. I fall within the same age as your daughters and my hubby will be 40 this year. My brother is 9 years older than me and just started his family 2 years ago. Both my husband and I were born to parents in their mid to late 30s. We have lost one parent between us and thankfully the others are doing well. I don't think the 30s is the same as the 50s in survival time.

[M. Thatcher]

I have never understood why people turn into instant condemnatory busybodies when it comes to what others decide in the child-rearing department. Live and let live.

[goodnesswins]

A baby in their 50's.....???? Yeah, right.........I became a Grandmother when I was 42, and would spend several hours at a time with my Grandson when he was 18 months to 4 years of age........THAT experience convinced me NO WOMAN past the age of 45 should have babies. And, I'm a woman in really good condition.(Of course, there are those with their Nannies, but hey, they aren't raising babies, just having pets.)

[GovernmentShrinker]

Most people's decisions to have babies are based in large part on their own wants, and people who claim otherwise are rarely telling the truth. Women who delay childbearing until their forties or early 50s are often being honest and realistic about waiting until they are financially and emotionally able to put the child first. Then after they have the child(ren), they can really do that. Many people who have children when they are young and financially insecure and/or emotionally-psychologically unprepared end up being stressed out all the time and both parents working to make ends meet, and the child(ren) who they imagined would have a happy family and a stay-at-home mom end up with neither.

People have to evaluate their own situations honestly, including their health, hereditary longevity patterns, finances, and whether there are loving relatives prepared to finish raising the child if the parents can't. But when I survey the landscape, I see a lot more children of young parents living in misery, than children of parents who waited until their forties living in misery. For one thing, people who wait 'til middle age are absolutely sure they want the children, and are realistic about what's involved in raising them -- and many who've waited end up deciding not to have them. Early parents often find out after they have the kids that they weren't prepared to handle raising them.

[TXBubba]

Most people's decisions to have babies are based in large part on their own wants, and people who claim otherwise are rarely telling the truth.

Doesn't make it right.

I believe my example discussed those in their 40s having kids. We are talking about folks in their 50s. Heck, let's go ahead and push it into the 60s and 70s if they want. At what point does it become rather stupid to reproduce? I'm not talking about making a law here but rather encouraging some common sense.

[TXBubba]

Women who delay childbearing until their forties or early 50s are often being honest and realistic about waiting until they are financially and emotionally able to put the child first

I also disagree with this point. Women this age who have put off having kids usually are those who didn't get married until later in life. If they were married earlier then you can't tell me they didn't put it off because they weren't more interested in their careers. The being financially and emotionally able is a bunch of crap with the exception of teenagers who go off and get married without a job or a clue about life at all.

[TXBubba]

For one thing, people who wait 'til middle age are absolutely sure they want the children, and are realistic about what's involved in raising them -- and many who've waited end up deciding not to have them.

I do agree with your point here. Being an older parent and having friends in our same age we notice a big difference between ourselves and the younger parents with kids the same ages as ours. The younger ones seem like they can't get away from their kids enough. They plan a lot of "adult only" events. Those of us in the older age group tend to want to include our kids in everything we can and that means giving up a lot of social events.

[GovernmentShrinker]

It takes a certain amount of emotional maturity to care more about your kids' needs than about "self-fulfillment", whether that's through a career, or endless partying, or whatever. In our society, a lot of people don't reach that level of maturity until pretty late.

[buffyt]

I had my kids at age 30, 32, and 33 and I WILL be here for all those events. They already graduated from high school, they are 18, 19, and 21 and I am 51 now. I wouldn't have had kids in my twenties for anything! NO WAY!!!

[Ciexyz]

You're seeing a lot of single women in their 30's who are having a child, having given up on the scenario of waiting for a stable partner to enter their lives. My cousin did this, but she had the support of her own parents to help her thru the pregnancy and to babysit the child. Otherwise she couldn't have done it.

[LisaAnne]

At least you are just exhausted, I would be in a rubber room. ;o)