Stupid study is in a sorry state

Detroit Free Press ^ | October 20, 2002 | Dave Barry

[alaskanfan]

An outfit calling itself "Morgan Quitno Press" recently ranked the 50 United States in order of intelligence, and I am TICKED OFF. My state, Florida, came in 47th. Can you believe that? Forty-seventh! How dare they? How dare they suggest that Florida is more intelligent than three other states? No way!

[alaskanfan]

Sunday humor break.

[AEMILIUS PAULUS]

Listen up A$$hole California is twice as dumb as Florida, Mississippi, Lousiana and New Mexico combined. D*mn am I outraged! I'm a native Californian and I know dumb when I see it. The average IQ out here is 65. So there!

[alaskanfan]

We don't know anything and we can prove it!!!!

[Orual]

Good Davy Barry fun.

5. PRESENCE IN THE STATE OF AN ENORMOUS TWINE BALL

Wasn't this one of the places that John Travolta, playing Michael, in the movie of the same name, wanted to visit before going back to Heaven?

[AEMILIUS PAULUS]

I challenge you! Come up with your facts! I have the well known study by Dr. Hyman Buttethumper of Slippery Rock Teachers College conducted over sixty years in support of my position! The learned man found that the average IQ in California declined over 60 years from a mean of 67 to a mean of 65. While the average IQ of Floridians rose from an average of 66 to an average of 70. So there!

[Jonathon Spectre]

Stupider than the state that STILL does not really know who it voted for in the 2000 presidential election?

Florida voted for GW Bush.

[dighton]

5. PRESENCE IN THE STATE OF AN ENORMOUS TWINE BALL

We're sorry, Mr. Edward Atwood of Greenwood, Nova Scotia. The rules distinctly specify twine, not aluminum foil. You ARE invited, however, to post on FreeRepublic.

[Orual]

John Bain says, " I am 25 years old and live in Wilmington, Delaware. Yea, you may think Delaware is a boring."

Au contraire, Jean. But you will have to get dighton's permission to post on Free Republic.

[alaskanfan]

Florida voted for GW Bush.

I saw Michael Moore (Bowling for Columbine) say on a T.V. news program last night that Gore had won in Florida.

Maybe Michael Moore is the stupidest state.

[dighton]

But you will have to get dighton's permission to post on Free Republic.

Permission denied, unless he can produce a large rubber-band ball -- in which case I'll grease the skids for him.

(Rubber bands, as you may know, are considered weapons at some "zero-tolerance" schools. They are an authorized FR topic).

[Dakotabound]

Morgan Quitno Press declared that the Safest State -- also for six years in a row -- was North Dakota. This makes more sense. You're not going to have a lot of crime in an area with essentially the same population density as Jupiter. Even if you TRY to commit a robbery in North Dakota, the victim will be so happy to have human companionship that he or she will invite you home for traditional North Dakota cuisine (Pork 'n' Marshmallow Jell-O Casserole Surprise).

What a jerk.

Everyone knows you don't put meat in a Marshmallow Jello-O Casserole Surprise. Geesh.

[Orual]

Permission denied, unless he can produce a large rubber-band ball -- in which case I'll grease the skids for him.

My fault for sloppy posting. That IS a rubber band ball.

[the gillman@blacklagoon.com]

If Rhode Island wasn't two notches below last place this study wasn't worth a nickel.

And we won the corruption debate. As soon as everyone admits that, we'll begin releasing hostages in exchange for
the agreed upon bribes.

Send your cash to:

Speaker Hardwood Reelection Campaign Fund
Mt Hope Cemetary
Pawtucket Rhode Island
Make checks payable to John Gillman

[dighton]

Mr. Bain, your 30-megaton-yield rubberband ball is worthy of distinction.

By the power vested in me (never mind by whom), I declare you an honorary FReeper, with all privileges and immunities.

[Orual]

Jackson, Wyoming wants in.

[EveningStar]

Bump :)

[Swordmaker]

Listen up A$$hole California is twice as dumb as Florida, Mississippi, Lousiana and New Mexico combined. D*mn am I outraged! I'm a native Californian and I know dumb when I see it. The average IQ out here is 65. So there!

YEAH! We even named an Official State Slug!

[Swordmaker]

The learned man found that the average IQ in California declined over 60 years from a mean of 67 to a mean of 65. Not only that, ALL of the Democrats in California were below that average!!!! And they make up more than half of the population!