Report: Bin Laden is alive and will appear on TV soon

Jerusalem Post ^ | 10/13/02 | The Associated Press

[Mossad1967]

I have a bad feeling that another big attack is coming soon.

[Voltage]

It took them this long to find a look alike?

[Justice]

I think this is a fat look-alike. (Why else the references to the weight gain?)

[mhking]

He has gained more weight due to security precautions and his inability to move a lot as you will notice in his next appearance

Translation: We got a big guy to be his look-alike.

[ChiMark]

Yeah, Elvis lives in Kalamazoo.

[knak]

I think it'll be a double of osama. Too heavy and has had long enough to grow his beard and learn his movements so as to appear to be him.

[Mr. Mojo]

"Sheik Osama is alive and in good health. He has gained more weight"

So they finally found some guy who kinda looks like him, but the problem is that he's a fat slob. Should be an interesting video.

[BenLurkin]

Well, maybe so. . .
It could mean has been holed up in a very small place for quite a while: afraid to move for fear of being seen. Pakistan?

[knak]

the thought of a 6'4, fat osama is pretty funny.

[Huck]

He has gained more weight due to security precautions and his inability to move a lot as you will notice in his next appearance

Greetings! Peace be upon you! Well, I just flew in from Afghanistan and boy are my arms tired!

[TaRaRaBoomDeAyGoreLostToday!]

[DallasMike]

He's just going through his Fat Osama period. This means we'll soon find him dead on a toilet with a peanut butter and banana sandwich clutched in his fist. His daughter will marry Michael Jackson.

[Teacher317]

Bali wasn't big enough?

[Dog]

I want to see the tape .....and he better be holding a recent copy of the NY Times with the date seen on the paper.

I won't joke about this ....until we see this tape..

[monday]

"Sheik Osama is alive and in good health. He has gained more weight due to security precautions and his inability to move a lot as you will notice in his next appearance,"

Interesting. I wonder if they have found a double for Osama? Just taking a little extra time for coaching and getting the voice right? Perhaps a grainy video and voice recording with lots of static are being planned as well? Hocus Pocus...... Osama rises from the dead;-)

[AndrewC]

Gosh, your brain waves must be powerful. When I saw those words I thought of Teddy boy and was ready to post until I saw your better answer.

[Ditter]

They forgot to mention that Osama is now only 5'4" instead of his previous 6'4". Getting shorter like that will make you look heavier every time.

[Dog]

I think they have something bigger planned..

Bali is just the opening act I'm afraid.

[andy_card]

Bin Laden is alive and will appear on TV soon? So which one will it be? Face the Nation, Fox News Sunday, This Week, Meet the Press, or Late Edition? Let the ratings war begin.