Posted on 08/27/2002 8:18:41 AM PDT by JediGirl
WOMEN have declared Marks & Spencer’s new bulge-enhancing wonderpants for men a truly swell idea.
Yesterday we told how the company had developed the upfront undies, called Urban Survivor, to do for men’s tackle what the Wonderbra has done for women’s boobs.
To find out what effect the £8 not-so-smalls would have on the ladies, we sent model Jeremy Frisbee out on a “package” tour of London’s streets.
With him was pal Edward Cutcliffe, 22, who was wearing his normal no-support Calvin Kleins.
Box of tricks ... girls in bar get an eyeful
Without the benefit of the “pulling pants”, poor Edward was ignored by the girls, who only had eyes for Jeremy.
Receptionist Michelle Peak, 24, of Beckenham, Kent, said: “The pants are great. I am shocked that they can do that for a man.
“I couldn’t take my eyes off his bulge. Who says size doesn’t matter?.”
Giant sighs ... Jez and Cathy Cook
Credit controller Tasmin Nother, 26, from Enfield, Middlesex, said: “I wouldn’t like my man wearing them if he was going to get all this attention.
“But they are great for a guy who has a maggot rather than a snake.”
But supervisor Michele Faires, 24, said: “I’m not bothered about size. It’s what you do with it. My boyfriend would be too embarrassed to wear these.”
Grandmother Cathy Cook, from St Katherine’s Dock, East London, said: “I don’t know where to look. I am shocked that good old Marks & Sparks have come up with this. I’m not too sure if I could get my two sons to wear them.”
PA Anna Hazel, 33, from Camberwell, south London, said: “What a whopper! My hubby is just fine down there but it’s a great thing for men to be able to buy from the high street.”
Marina Chrysanthou, 29, an accounts assistant from Camberley, Surrey, said: “For years women have been able to buy push-up bras and tummy controller underwear so it’s about time men had something to help them in that region.”
Marks & Spencer yesterday bought 1,000 copies of The Sun
featuring their undies. They will be given to menswear departments to help them cope with the rush of customers when the smalls go on sale nationwide next month.
Yeah, but this time around we get all the tasteful commercials.
Aren't you anxious to see Slick and Dole in their new Wonderpants?
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No, she goes into a diatribe against the world for viewing women as sex objects.
You took off yor peg leg, yor wig an' yor glass eye,
You should have seen the look on yor face...
I wanted to kiss you and hug you my darlin'
But you were scattered all over the place.
Where O, where are you tonite...
I have no desire to relive middle school, like that.
Are you any relation to Corin Thunderfist in "The Horse and His Boy"? Just curious.
But the bottom line to all of this: A large bulge is only gonna attract gays.
They won't sell well among Italians, either. They'd be kind of redundant.
When I tell people that I'm half-Italian, they always ask me what half and I always tell them "where it counts the most."
Then again, my father's people, the Poles, are also known for their long, thick sausages. ;-)
Sounds good to me ladies!
Sorry, Captain.
Before going ashore for leave, it will be necessary for all male crew members to have inspection for certain 'unnecessary' items.
Wouldn't want use thereof to reflect badly on The Mobious Triangle."
There will be no false advertising allowed.
(it's a tough job, but somebody has to do it..:))
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