Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Bllind Psychic Gropes Buttocks To Tell Future
Reuters Odd News ^ | 7/9/2002 | Nick Tattersall

Posted on 07/09/2002 12:54:13 PM PDT by Hellmouth

Yahoo! News News Home - Yahoo! - Help

Reuters
Limited Time Offer. FREE Shipping. While Supply Lasts!
Limited Time Offer. FREE Shipping. While Supply Lasts!
Home  Top Stories  Business  Tech  Politics  World  Local  Entertainment  Sports  Op/Ed  Science  Health  Full Coverage 
Oddly Enough - Reuters
   
Oddly Enough | Reuters | AP | Reuters UK

Blind Psychic Gropes Buttocks to See Future
Tue Jul 9,11:55 AM ET

By Nick Tattersall

BERLIN (Reuters) - Forget palm-reading. A blind German psychic claimed Tuesday he could read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks.

Clairvoyant Ulf Buck, 39, claims that people's backsides have lines like those on the palm of the hand, which can be read to reveal much about their character and destiny.

"The bottom is much more intense -- it has a much stronger power of expression than the hand in my experience," Buck told Reuters. "It goes on developing throughout your life."

By running his fingers along a number of lines on the surface of a client's posterior, he says he can tell them about their future monetary success, family life, health and happiness.

He says lines representing success, career and artistic ability extend inwards from the outer extremities of the buttocks, while a further five lines radiate outwards.

"I began on a circle of friends and the circle grew," Buck said. "I am not a new-age freak. I treat people with great care and conscientiousness."

Buck, who lives in the northern village of Meldorf, northwest of Hamburg, says all types come to him to have their bottoms read.

He sees his blindness as a great asset, not least because it means customers do not risk having their identities revealed.

"All sorts come, from cleaning ladies and secretaries to prominent members of the community. For them, my being blind is an advantage because I can do it without recognizing them again in the future." Buck has been blind since the age of three.

Although he claims to have spent many years training his fingers, with his index and middle fingers the most sensitive, Buck says even amateur buttock readers can make a broad-brush assessment of people's personalities.

"An apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life," he said. "A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, patient and down-to-earth."

He is quick to shoot down any suggestion that his buttock groping might be motivated by anything other than a genuine desire to probe people's futures.

"I do not need to feel bottoms for my own pleasure. My wife is quite beautiful enough for me," he said.

Buck is reluctant to speak about his successes, but says he correctly predicted an actress from a popular German soap-opera was going to write a book, and says a stockbroker has been using his services for over two years.

"No stockbroker would keep asking a blind clairvoyant to tell them about future stock prices if they didn't believe I could to it," he said.

Copyright © 2002 Reuters Limited. All rights reserved. Republication or redistribution of Reuters content is expressly prohibited without the prior written consent of Reuters. Reuters shall not be liable for any errors or delays in the content, or for any actions taken in reliance thereon.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events
KEYWORDS: divination; future; germany; gropingbuttocks; precognition; psychic
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-39 last
To: Hellmouth
"I do not need to feel bottoms for my own pleasure. My wife is quite beautiful enough for me," he said.

How would Mr Blind Psychic know how beautiful his wife is???

21 posted on 07/09/2002 1:16:57 PM PDT by freebilly
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Hellmouth
he could read people's futures by feeling their naked buttocks

New frat party pick-up line!

22 posted on 07/09/2002 1:17:52 PM PDT by stainlessbanner
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Hellmouth
Whatever you do - DON'T turn around.
23 posted on 07/09/2002 1:20:39 PM PDT by AD from SpringBay
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Billy_bob_bob
What a scam!

What do you mean "scam"? He really can tell the future by feeling your hinney. No "ifs", "ands", or "butts" about it!

24 posted on 07/09/2002 1:21:15 PM PDT by freebilly
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Hellmouth
I feel you're a big ass ... (that will be $20)
25 posted on 07/09/2002 1:22:18 PM PDT by fnord
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: stainlessbanner
Tonight, you will sit in a soft chair.
Tommorrow, you will sit on a leather chair.
Tommorrow night, you will lay your arse in the bed

Yeah this is too easy...

26 posted on 07/09/2002 1:23:50 PM PDT by DETAILER
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 22 | View Replies]

To: Hellmouth
"An apple-shaped, muscular bottom indicates someone who is charismatic, dynamic, very confident and often creative. A person who enjoys life," he said. "A pear-shaped bottom suggests someone very steadfast, patient and down-to-earth."

Yeah, he told me something similar - 20 Deutschmarks and he sez "ach, Herr Drill, a pendulous bottom shaped like two three-liter plastic bags full of cold oatmeal iss a zign zat you are a sorry old git." He's got cold hands, too.

27 posted on 07/09/2002 1:24:18 PM PDT by Billthedrill
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: DETAILER
Excellent - the frat fortune teller! It's probably been tried before...hah!
28 posted on 07/09/2002 1:27:35 PM PDT by stainlessbanner
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

He groped Hillary's buttocks, and predicted she would be President!

President of the Cottage Cheese factory.... Wahoooo

29 posted on 07/09/2002 1:30:25 PM PDT by Hellmouth
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Hellmouth
, and says a stockbroker has been using his services for over two years.

I wonder if thats where Dascle got the tip to dump his Global Crossing shares before it crashed.

30 posted on 07/09/2002 1:30:54 PM PDT by putupon
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Hellmouth
He sees his blindness as a great asset

ROFL

31 posted on 07/09/2002 1:35:48 PM PDT by B Knotts
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Hellmouth
Ulf Buck said he finds American Democrats easier because he can start reading anywhere.
32 posted on 07/09/2002 1:35:59 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Hellmouth
Ach, Sergeant Schultz. I can zee zat you know nuthink, nuthink. Colonel Hogan iz a bane on your ex-cystence. Ach, Schultz, I can sense that you been eating der dumplings und beans at Rosies again. Pleaze open der vindow on your vay out.
33 posted on 07/09/2002 1:37:21 PM PDT by Movemout
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Hellmouth
"Ah yez. Mine reading tells me you forgot to vipe."
34 posted on 07/09/2002 1:40:38 PM PDT by Hillarys Gate Cult
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: tomakaze

I'll tell your future at no extra charge!

35 posted on 07/09/2002 1:47:49 PM PDT by Gumlegs
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 11 | View Replies]

To: Hellmouth
Wasn't there a story a few months ago about a Japanese psychic who read fortunes by having sex with her clients?
36 posted on 07/09/2002 2:04:09 PM PDT by LA-Lawyer
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Hellmouth
Blind Psychic Gropes Buttocks to See Future

In my best Slim Pickens accent, "Well don't that beat all”

37 posted on 07/09/2002 2:13:52 PM PDT by TightSqueeze
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Gumlegs
Thanks, now I know what I'm gonna be for Halloween next year!
38 posted on 07/09/2002 2:14:36 PM PDT by gwynapnudd
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: Gumlegs
heh heh ...

I know someone who did that for halloween last year.
39 posted on 07/10/2002 12:41:56 PM PDT by tomakaze
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-39 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson