Poor Perfect Martha: The Butt of So Many Nasty Jokes....

Iconoclast.ca ^ | July 5, 2002 | The Iconoclast

[Apolitical]

July 5, 2002: Poor Martha Stewart. TV's proud potentate of perfection may be wearing prison stripes soon, and never have the masses been so insolent toward the haughty diva of decorating.

Ms. Stewart was so affronted by a brazen attempt by her Early Show colleagues' to question her about charges of inside stock trading circulating against her -- to add insult to injury, while she was preparing the perfect cabbage salad -- she has refused to appear on the early-morning CBS TV show again.

Nonetheless, the pack continues to nip at the regal Ms. Stewart's heels. Martha Stewart jokes are all the rage this holiday weekend. And here's just a brief sampling:

COMEDIAN RAY ELLIN: "Martha Stewart will have no trouble adjusting to prison life. I understand she's alreadyworking on three new projects: a magazine, Martha Stewart Woodworking; a new TV special, 'A Sing Sing Thanksgiving,' and a very exciting new book, 'Clothes in the Attica: An Inmate's Guide to Pinstripes.'"

TONIGHT SHOW HOST, JAY LENO: "Another scorcher in L.A. I tell you, it was hot! I was sweating like Martha Stewart watching 'Oz.'"

DAVID LETTERMAN: "Martha Stewart has her chin up. Great attitude. I saw her in the hallway today showing people how to turn federal subpoenas into party hats."

JON STEWART: "As the trading scandal heats up, the stock price of Stewart's firm, Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, has been plunging. Experts say the company is suffering because its image is so directly tied to Stewart's persona -- an assessment that has many investors surprised that the price hasn't just remained frozen."

Have a happy holiday weekend, Martha. You know, we're all just kidding....well, a few of us, anyway....well, a couple of us maybe...well, there must be at least one person in the whole country who actually likes you....hmmm....maybe your career is toast.

The Iconcolast

[Apolitical]

Skewed like a haughty shiska-bob

[chiefqc]

Just another greedy old hag.

[Common Tator]

Con artists are con artists. It seems to me that Martha Stewart has lousy tastes in boy friends.

Her main squeeze is a con artist.

If you had a drug that would cure cancer, why would you promote your stock and sell bunches of it before FDA approval. Whenever anyone files an application with any federal agency, the person or company filing knows what the odds of success are. If they are high people in on the ground floor husband every share. Once the drug was approved, the stock price would go through the roof.

If you had terminal cancer, what would you pay for drug that would cure it? I have been in that position. The answer for me was, "Everything I had."

Why then the hype before the FDA decision? It is not to hard to figure out they were certain it would be turned down. People sell their own stock or stock out of teh corporate treasury when they think they can get the most for it. Before approval is only the most for it, when the drug is not going to be approved.It smells like the perfect crime. A promoter files with the FDA hypes the drug, the stock goes way up, and then the promoter sells out before the bubble bursts and the FDA turns it down.

It is a great con, because the law has to prove the promoter knew the drug would be turned down. How do you prove someone "knows" something... especially when as part of the con the promoter told everyone he was convinced it would be approved.

When the law finds such cons, they rarely bring charges on the real crime. It was a perfect crime. It can't be roved. They bring charges on what they can prove... which is insider trading. The best example in history is Al Capone. They could not get Al on murder, or bootleging. So they got him on income tax evasion.

They will get Martha and her squeeze on insider trading. But the crime is the same as the crime that caused the FDA to be created. That crime was people selling fake cures for big bucks.

Martha is not too bright. She called her broker and got him to say she had a stop order in when she had not done so. All she had to do was say I saw it fall to 60 bucks and I called my broker and said sell. No one told me anything. She should have told the broker that her boyfriend said it might go to 300, but I am scared, so I will take some profits and get out.

She could just keep saying it fell to sixty and I sold. It would be next to impossible to prove otherwise. They are after her boyfriend. They won't make him a deal to get her. They might make her a deal to get him.

Martha stupidly wanted more cover than "I chickend out" so she tried to make a fake defense. It may put her in jail. She doesn't have a clue about how to play helpless female. Hillary should have given her lessons.

If she had claimed to have only found out what a crook her guy was after the fact. If she had cried on her nationbal TV appearance, that HE (as in E-VIL HE) was just using me and cared nothing for me. He never told me anything. She should have claimed to feel viotated an abused. And by the way, thank goodness that she was lucky enought to sell out. She could have glanced upward on national TV and said someone was looking out for me.

If she had done that, her stock would be up 10 million and she would be a hero to the Oprah set. But she was way too dumb to do that.

If you look at Martha's picture closely you can see it. The makeup does not quite hide it. She has the words "Dumb Broad" tatooed on her forehead.

[ErnBatavia]

This is one of those "a friend of a friend" things....but I see no reason to doubt it..."

Martha (4 years ago?) hired a local floral arranger to do the thing for one of HER things; the florist didn't get paid...the florist was basically told, "be happy you did work for Martha Stewart..."

The florist got a judgement, but hasn't had it executed yet, as she had moved back to her native Ireland.