BE A DEMORAT TRAINEE!! Here's the DNC Campaign Training SCHEDULE

Much is at stake for the Democratic party and for Americans in the 2002 elections. We must increase

our razor-thin majority in the United States Senate. We need a gain of only 6 seats to make Dick

Gephardt the Speaker of the House. With 36 gubernatorial elections on tap, we also have an

opportunity to take back a majority of the nation’s governorships for the first time since 1994, as well as

to effect many other statewide elections. We have targeted seven legislative chambers for pick up and

must protect control of another six. All of this while hundreds of mayors and over one thousand county

Topics (select one): Communications (includes Advance, Scheduling, Speechwriting),

Field (includes Base Vote & GOTV), Voter File, Fundraising, Non-Federal Managers, Research

For more information, please contact the DNC Training Institute at 202.863.7140.

There is an application to fill out. Glad my sister has strong Democratic credentials! When they call, mention buzz phrases like Bush stole the election, Gore is cool, you felt disenfranchised, blah, blah, blah. I'm dying my hair for the training session and should fit in quite nicely. I think I actually had the gal on the phone in tears. I'll try to report back on what happened during my "training" seminar....

Tips for Blending in with the Dems.

1.) Don't bother to get all dressed up. Besides, you don't have any Sunday Best outfits because you don't go to church.

2.) If you are a woman do not shave your legs.

3.) Shoe of choice? Well-worn Berkenstocks.

4.) Do not wear deoderant. You do not want to smell like a Republican.

Classes offered at the Dem training session:

BAD CHAD 101- How to find voting ballots that can be rigged to dem party advantage. Must be taken in conjunction with THE ART OF PERSUASION 1A.

THE ART OF PERSUASION 1A-How to convince large groups of citizens (particularly citizens of a certain area in Floriduh) that the ballots used in election were too confusing and difficult to use; even though second graders were able to use ballots without any problems.

NO VOTE FOR GI JOE 1B-Learn how to prevent members of the millitary from voting. Classic strategies will be covered, such as: send absentee ballots to millitary stationed outside U.S.A via a slow boat to China. Ballots for 2002 election will reach millitary personnel around 2098.

SMOKE THE VOTE 2002: scour skid row and back alleys with cartons of cigarettes to offer to the homeless in exchange for their votes for dem party

I'M NOT CRAZY, I'M A DEMACRAT 100: Visit area convalescent homes , mental institutions and prisons in search of persons who are the most senile, don't know their own names, or people in a coma and "assist" them in filling out their ballots

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!202: Scare tactics will be covered, such as: have senior citizens eat out of dog bowls filled with Gravy Train or Pedigree while they explain to their sad faced dogs that they had to chose between paying for their prescrition drugs or buying food.

RAISING THE DEAD 113: Scan the obituaries in the newspapers and register the deceased under dem party and then vote for them

If you go- take along the Coulter book.."Slander"...it
will give them all the "Demorat operating system"....they
can even read some of Al Gore's statements -like he
was internet inventor....loves animals-- calls for Zebras
to clean up their spots and they thought Dan Quale was
dumb..Bill Bradley, touted as one of the smartest in the demo ranks..had an SAT score below 500....you can look it up...Coulter has the goods..but has heluva time getting
air time on book..wonder why?????? Jake

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