Name some snacks and give some Ideas for Marthas Jail Cell

June 26, 2002 | Ice-Flyer

[ICE-FLYER]

Martha has now sponsored a new contest to help her with her new magazine set to be released after her court appearance. "Martha Stewart Big House Living."

This fashionable new magazine has everything for the recently indisposed small room dwellers who need new snack ideas and decorating tips for their, uhhm, small spaces.

SNACK IDEAS

Snacks can sometimes be a problem in small confined spaces where you find that you just cant get out as often as you would like:
1. Fumunda Cheese Crackers:
A wonderful quick pick-me-up fast energy snakc for the midninght cell walkers to have or in the early morning as you prepare for that rool-call. Take some government issued saltines and scrap the build-up from under the small space sink provided you and voila....Instant gratification that your small-room mate, Jethro, will just love you for. As if he does not love you already.

Decorating

You can make it look and feel big

Taking a small 6 foot by 10 foot room and making it appear warm, comfortable and larger than it really is only takes some patience and just a little effort. Take the next 12 weeks of library visits and use them to your advantage. Make sure to have guard supervision as you request a pair of scissors to cut out every picture from one of my now defunct magazine. I am sure that there will be hundreds of copies to choose from. In just a few months time a managrie of color and outside world views will remind you of the goal....getting the hell out.

[ICE-FLYER]

How about some great Freeper picture work and ideas to enhance Martha Stewarts Big House magazine???

[RaceBannon]

Ritz crackers...with Hummus maybe? and a little puree of celery mixed with Salsa, organic of course...

[Charles Henrickson]

Martha is in her cozy place. . . .

"A real spartan, 'less-is-more' look can be a bracing change of pace from the routine plants-and-decor overload. Go with that feeling! This more austere look should be in style for, say, the next five-to-ten years."

[FITZ]

An all beige or gray room and only high calorie foods and snacks.

[Charles Henrickson]

Next on Martha Stewart Big House Living . . .

Make your own Black Market Cigarette Storage Nook, using scrap pieces from the woodshop. It's easy!

[Charles Henrickson]

Tired of rough shower experiences? We'll show you how to rig up a sitz bath in the privacy of your own room! Clue: When is a toilet not a toilet?

[DumpsterDiver]

Hanging Out With Martha: On today's show Martha will be demonstrating how to weave a rope out of human hair.

(For those times when the tediousness of being confined becomes just too much of a "good thing".)

[Charles Henrickson]

Make that special "guardian angel" in your life more friendly toward you. Learn how to tattoo his or her name on your knuckles, using simple homemade tools and ink. This sign of affection (although somewhat painful and likely to transmit Hepatitis C) will be sure to gain you more favors in the long run!

[ICE-FLYER]

Learn how to tattoo his or her name on your knuckles, using simple homemade tools and ink.

Priceless. An action sure to please even the meanest cell mate.

Big Bump!!

[CougarGA7]

"Notice how a little paper-mache accents the bars and generally brightens up the room." - Martha Stewart, cell Block D cell 82.

[MamaB]

How about Moon Pies and RC Cola????? I have read about these!!!!!! MamaB

[Charles Henrickson]

Spray-painted hydrangea centerpieces--here?? It can be done! Just get together with the guard on your cell block and work out a little "insider trading," if you know what I mean.

[Charles Henrickson]

Never celebrated Kwanzaa before? This is a good year to start. A neat way to make new friends.

[BuckeyeForever]

In the next issue of Martha Stewart's Big House magazine:

"How to fashion a shiv from your dead roomie's glass lenses."

[McGruff]

credit: NY Post, Sean Delonas, June 14, 2002

[southern rock]

SNACK IDEAS

Cake with file inside.

[1Old Pro]

I hear "stainless" is in. Perhaps a stainless toilet would give it that "commercial" look.

[stainlessbanner]

Moon Pies and RC Cola are a Southron Classic! Hmmmm....but not refined enough for Jailbird Martha.

[stainlessbanner]

I hear "stainless" is in.

Stainless is always in style : )

[Randjuke]

Use those old jelly spoons and lobster forks to get a great start on a nifty tunnel! Hide the tunnel behind a cheery Monet print.