Chew on this: Tooth phone implants

News.com ^ | June 18, 2002

[John Jorsett]

British engineers say they have invented a revolutionary tooth implant that works like a mobile phone and would not be out of place in a James Bond spy movie.

The "tooth phone" consists of a tiny vibrator and a radio wave receiver implanted into a tooth during routine dental surgery. The phone was designed by James Auger and Jimmy Loizeau.

The implant does not yet have its own microchip installed, but Auger says the technology is tried and tested, and a fully functional phone could be put together in no time at all.

"With the current size of microchips, this is feasible. They are now small enough to implant in the tooth," he said Tuesday.

Sound, which comes into the tooth as a digital radio signal, is transferred to the inner ear by bone resonance, meaning information can be received anywhere and at any time--and nobody else can listen in.

The invention raises the prospects of financial traders receiving the latest stock market bulletins while at the cinema and politicians tuning in to secret briefings from advisers while being quizzed by opponents.

Despite its similarity to high-tech gadgets dreamed up by Bond's faithful "Q" sidekick, the inventors believe the gizmo could become the first in a whole suite of nonmedical devices implanted into the human body.

[John Jorsett]

Hmmm. This could also be used to bug people: "He listened to me open-mouthed."

[StonyMan451]

I guess you dial a number by pressing different teeth?

[Mike-o-Matic]

   "With the current size of microchips, this is feasible. They are now small enough to implant in the tooth,"

No thanks! I'll pass.

[DoughtyOne]

...and ladies and gentlement, please keep your mouths closed during the flight.

[mhking]

Do you get a "cone of silence" to go with it?

[maxwell]

and ladies and gentlement, please keep your mouths closed during the flight.

Bwahaha...

[BMCDA]

Yeah, and in order to receive and transmit data it unfolds like this one:

[COBOL2Java]

At least with these tooth phones, the homeless won't seem so strange talking to themselves...

[Eric in the Ozarks]

The name is Bonf. James Bonf.

[BMCDA]

Hm, maybe they're already used as betatesters. For a bottle of booze they'll do anything ;-D

[DoughtyOne]

This is a funny subject. You've got your mouth full of potatoes, the phone rings. What DO you do? You're chewing on a nice juicy piece of steak when you realize you've just dialed 555-PETA by mistake. You doze off in the sabbath morning service, but by grinding your teeth you dial 999-SEXY. As you sleep those within ten feet hear how Debbie does Dallas. Oh the humanities.

[KellyAdmirer]

To drive somebody you hate insane, just figure out a way to prevent them from turning off their tooth. Will open up a whole new type of cyber-crime.

[LibWhacker]

Oh, man . . . And I thought all those people who have claimed over the years to receive radio signals via their fillings were absolutely nutso.

[Lower55]

I guess it's voice recognition dialing.

During sex you happen to say "yeah mamma" then your mom starts talking in your ear. hmmmmmm 'could ruin the moment. But, might not...lol

[ofMagog]

SEE!
I told you those voices in my head were real!

[DoughtyOne]

Eeeeewwwwwww. LOL

[CecilRhodesGhost]

This technology will also be useful in the corrections and prison industry. Parolees (along with the electronic tags they already wear) could have this type of implant so that the authorities could communicate at will with the ward of the state. If modified into a listening-only device, it could be useful in law-enforcement efforts as well. Lastly, micro-communication devices could be implanted into, say captured terrorists, so that they would be forced to listen to re-educational messages until their dissenting views were removed.

[StonyMan451]

You scare me!

[Lower55]

What if it got loose and you accidently swallowed it? When it get's close to being expelled, it might start running up your phone bill trying to call San Francisco.

[BigBlueJon]

A guy walks into a bar and starts to dial on his hand like it was a phone and starts to talk into it. The bartender comes up to him and says, "What are you doing?"

"This is a bad neighborhood and if anyone sees you doing that their gonna think that you're crazy and beat you up."

The guy says "Oh no, my company deals in microtechnology and body implants. My hand is a cellphone."

The bartender just shakes his head and says. "Whatever,"

The guy goes to the bathroom and is in there a long time. The bartender gets worried and goes in and checks up on him. He gets in there, sees the guy with his pants down and a toilet paper roll shoved up his butt. The bartender, thinking something bad had happened says, "Are you okay? What happened? Were you assaulted? What happened?"

And the guy goes, "Oh nothing like that, I'm just receiving a fax."