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Draft of Bush MidEast Peace Plan Leaked
Floppy disk | unknown | unknown

Posted on 06/18/2002 5:55:45 PM PDT by parsifal

Rough Draft Of Bush Peace Plan Leaked!

This was found on a floppy disk somewhere in the U.S. It's accuracy can not be confirmed.

Hey Karl,

How are you? Fine I hope. Please read this here peace plan for Israel and pass a copy over to Dick Cheeny and Colon Powell. Go ahead and correct all my spelling errors because you know I can't spell worth a hoot. The grammar might need a little work, too, but heck, what are Cheefs of Staff for, anyway? George W.

Ladies and Gentlemen of the U.S.A. Hello tonight the 20th of June, 2002. I am coming to you on television because this is real important.

As you all know there is a war on terror that we are all fighting. But we have had to stop it for a while because them S.O.B.s in Pallastein is so busy killing the Jews in Israel. All the Arabs hates the Jews so if we bomb us some terrorist Arabs, they will think that the United States is all Jewish. Which we are not.

Every time I pick up the paper I see where the PLOs have bombed another bus or pizza parlor and frankly I have had about enough. There is dead women and children all over the place. I think that us Americans has been going around trying to be sophisticated and that has got us nowhere. We invite them little Pallesteinian weasels over here to Camp David and try to treat them polite. We shake their hands and compliment them and don't let on what a bunch of murdering little thugs they are. We sit around and tell everybody how much we all want peace, like them little no-good SOBs is one of us and wants peace, too. Well to hell with all that.

I got me a new peace plan and if this don't hairlip the little SOBs then I don't know what will:

1) Pallastein: You got 7 days to replace that no good little bast*rd Arafat. I don't care if you kill him or not and if I gets my wish he would be brought in Dead not Alive.

2) You got 7 days after that to get you a new Pallesteinian gov't going, and I mean one that don't put up with no crap from Hamas, Hezzboolahs, Islamit Jeehods (Karl I spelled it like it sounds but I think it is wrong. GW.) These bombings is going to end and I mean now.

3) To make sure that you PLOs get the message, I am selling (on credit) 50 B-52 bombers to the Jews in Israel. Plus all the bombs they can tote.

4) On the way over to deliver them, I am sending a bunch of bombs that I suspect is defective. I think these bombs are so defective that it wouldn't be safe to land the planes and I may have to order them dropped somewhere. Like on Arafat if he ain't gone by then and some of your cities to boot. Do you get my drift?

5) In the meantime, you had better get cracking because I think the Jews is about ready to start that eye for an eye stuff real serious and I am going to give them the tools to do it with. Since you guys outnumber them about 100 to 1, I figure them B-52s will bring a little equality to the region.

6) I had better not ever see no more of them Arab hollering and jibbering women on TV like I did when we got bombed or I swear I will drop a bomb down every chimeny in every mudhut in that village.

Yours very truly,

Do you think this will work, Karl? I really am fed up with these no good little four-flushers. Talk about "All-Turban and No Cows." I made that up myself. Think I can work it into the speech? GW. GWB.


TOPICS: Free Republic; Front Page News; Your Opinion/Questions
KEYWORDS: b52s; pallasteinians; plos
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To: Alas Babylon!
Yeah, I would like to see that in the plan, but it won't be. Bush isn't that tough.
21 posted on 06/18/2002 8:21:44 PM PDT by rwfromkansas
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To: Geezerette
Since Bush is pro Palestinian and anti Israel this is never going to happen.
22 posted on 06/18/2002 8:24:14 PM PDT by willyone
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To: PhiKapMom
I was gonna ask .. who uses floppy disks anymore
23 posted on 06/18/2002 8:26:30 PM PDT by Mo1
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To: parsifal
"From the tone and the message, I can definitely tell you that a Southerner wrote it. "

No, someone with no concept of southernisms wrote this in an attempt to be funny. I believe that someone is you...and it's the most embarrassingly unfunny thing I've read since I've been here.

24 posted on 06/18/2002 8:26:52 PM PDT by Chunga
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Comment #25 Removed by Moderator

To: parsifal
Hmmmm? I don't think Bush wrote it - besides, people tend to write like they talk. And ... our President may only have a degree from Yale, and an MB from Harvard, but I suspect if he had turned in any MB work in such disarray of language, they would have thrown it back at him.

I'm saying this is a joke; a very poor joke!

26 posted on 06/18/2002 10:06:11 PM PDT by CyberAnt
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To: parsifal
Islamit Jeehods

Topical, kind of endearing, not bad.

As for the replies, I'm speechless (pun intended). Between the one's that can't quite figure out that it's a spoof (Oh, looky there -- perfectly good floppy lying on ground), and the one's so thin-skinned about the big guy that they can't even take an endearing joke (let alone a biting comment), this place is a whole lot less fun than it used to be.
27 posted on 06/19/2002 1:28:17 AM PDT by self_evident
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To: sierradove
What has Roy Masters been saying about Israel/Middle East? I last heard him some years ago.....

As far as CNN goes I thought Ted was no longer involved with them. I guess I was wrong. With his recent statement he has just made CNN viewership more solid in the Moooooslim nations. Meaning more revenues for that loser network since they are being whipped by Fox in the USA.

28 posted on 06/19/2002 1:56:20 AM PDT by dennisw
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To: zip
I am positive that the author, whoever he/she might be if not Bush, did not write this to put Bush down. In all honesty, if Bush gives a version of this speech Thursday nite, I will be cheering my head off! parsy.
29 posted on 06/19/2002 6:14:20 AM PDT by parsifal
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To: self_evident
I agree. If this is a spoof, I thought the author was brilliant in his combination of humor and biting satire. For me,I want to believe that Bush really wrote this, gave it to Karl, and it got lost here in Little Rock when Bush was here a few weeks ago.

I am at a complete loss as to how some freepers could consider this an anti-Bush slam. Ithink thelanguage is charming and refreshingly blunt and to the point. If Bush gave a speech like this,the whole country would be behind him.parsy.
30 posted on 06/19/2002 6:20:50 AM PDT by parsifal
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To: parsifal
I can sort of hear Will Farrell reading this. Does the "floppy disk" have the letters "S N L" on it anywhere? ;-)
31 posted on 06/19/2002 6:26:17 AM PDT by hellinahandcart
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To: willyone
Your comment is contemptible -- back it up with facts. President Bush is not the one pro-palestinian -- clinton is!
32 posted on 06/19/2002 6:44:34 AM PDT by PhiKapMom
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To: parsifal
If only it were true...
33 posted on 06/19/2002 6:49:02 AM PDT by Rightwing Conspiratr1
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To: Mo1
who uses floppy disks anymore

I'd almost forgotten about their existence it's been so long. This post is a waste of bandwidth.

34 posted on 06/19/2002 7:27:14 AM PDT by callisto
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To: callisto
This post is a waste of bandwidth

Agree

35 posted on 06/19/2002 9:06:21 AM PDT by Mo1
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To: Rightwing Conspiratr1
I guess we will find out tomorrow nite if this is for real or not. If it is some freepers will be eating crow. Waste of bandwidth, my foot. On what other website I ask you could you find this news? I report....you decide. parsy.
36 posted on 06/19/2002 4:35:42 PM PDT by parsifal
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To: self_evident
an endearing joke

endearing joke, my a$$. A show of disrespect for the office of the President of my Country is the only definition that is appropriate for that crap.

37 posted on 06/19/2002 6:11:32 PM PDT by zip
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To: steve-b
I guess we will find out tonite, isn't it. Or has the Israeli invasion and calling up of reserves obviated the need for adding B-52s to the Israeli Air Force. parsy.
38 posted on 06/20/2002 3:28:17 PM PDT by parsifal
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I am sitting here wondering if some you think that the poster actually thinks this is real?

I would suggest that before you go to bed tonight, put some coal up the back end...ya'll are so tight it will come out as diamonds in the morning.

While this wasn't laugh out loud funny, it was an attempt. Jeez, do you ever stop being so damned serious?

Oh yeah, if its about Chelsea Clinton you call get a hoot out of it. Lighten up, Francis.

39 posted on 06/20/2002 5:16:03 PM PDT by Vermont Lt
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To: parsifal
Powder..Patch..Ball FIRE!

Parsy sounds like the posting police don't appreciate your humor, I however got a good chuckle from your posting and an even bigger one at the comments... Keep it up!

40 posted on 06/21/2002 7:06:27 AM PDT by BallandPowder
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