Saving Alaska

gulf1.com (Pensacola, FL) - The Ends Justify the Means ^ | Current column - 4/22/02 | M. Sidney Wallace

[be-baw]

Please remove me from your ping list. Thank you.

[MeekOneGOP]

Thanks for the ping!

[MeekOneGOP]

Nope. See #40........

[Victoria Delsoul]

The people of the Middle East do not have a standard of living that even the poorest of our workers are forced to endure. They have been forced to live in these conditions for thousands of years and it is high time the United States made amends for our past transgressions.

By whom? Not the USA, that's for sure! (Stupid socialists!)

[Cold Heat]

I fart in his general direction.

[MeekOneGOP]

LOL! Good idea! Here was mine:

My Dear Professor Wallace:

Socialism is a failed experiment. Capitalism ensures that products are produced per demand
and that will determine which products are produced, how many are produced and supply and
demand will determine the market prices of goods and services.

I am not surprised that you regard Senator Daschle with such great respect. I would imagine
that Marx, Lenin, Stalin, Mao and Engels are right up there too, huh?

Glad I didn't have to endure any of your classes when I went to college back in the 70s. I most
certainly would not have been comfortable with such drivel.

Richard Meek

[arthurus]

Could it be that this piece was written as irony

From a prof at UF? not likely.

[Darnright]

>I am amazed anyone could possibly think it is not satire. It drips from every word.

Please believe me, I hope and pray you are right. However, on the off chance you are mistaken and this guy's the genuine article, I am glad this thread is generating discussion.

I wonder if there are Freepers in the Pensacola area that could shed some light on this professor?

[arthurus]

Could it be that this piece was written as irony From a prof at UF? not likely.

Dyslexia strikes. that is FU, not UF. At FU this could well be a bit of heavy irony.

[CWRWinger]

This has got to be a joke. How could any any sober individual write this page-out-of-Mad-magazine with a straight face?

[Noumenon]

Here was my response:

Dear M. Wallace -

 

Thank you for your excellent piece of satire, “The Ends Justify the Means.”  It’s a classic piece that has provided my 15 year old twins with great amusement and a tremendous object lesson. When they asked me if you were serious, I explained that you were simply providing an over-the-top example of the Leftist lunatic fringe in academia. Naturally, they’re learning to resist, stand up to, and spit in the eye of folks like that.

Since they know their history well, they got a big laugh out of my description of the piece as ‘Pol Pot For Dummies’. They’ll be sharing this article with their classmates, who, by the way, will also get a hoot out your call for lowering academic standards. Another priceless piece of loony Left satire.

When it came to the part about controlling people for their own good, however, that was pretty scary as far as they were concerned. And that was the best lesson of all. I explained to the kids that this example cuts to the very heart of the sickness that lurks in the heart of the totalitarian monsters that largely inhabit the Left. It’s all you need to justify the most horrible atrocities and any amount of mass murder – as the history of the last century has so plainly shown.

Once we were done laughing at your piece of satire, we discussed at length the cautionary tale that you so cleverly embedded within it: That the struggle of good against evil is a never-ending one, and that the price of liberty is truly eternal vigilance. The corollary to this is that when it comes to individual freedom, you cannot defend what you cannot define, and you cannot keep what you don’t understand.

Thanks again for exposing the mindset of the murderous totalitarian Left in such a clever satire. Keep this up, and you might earn a place as this century’s somewhat less well-accomplished George Orwell.

Ward Dorrity

Product Development Manager - Software

F5 Networks, Liberty Lake, WA.

t  509.343.3527  | f  509.343.3501

c  208.755.8628 | e w.dorrity@f5.com

 

"The commitment of our fathers is the calling of our time."

President George W. Bush, National Cathedral, September 14, 2001.

[LibWhacker]

Oh, sure . . . I'll eat my hat if this isn't intended to be satire! Granted, 'M. Sydney Wallace' may be a pseudonym, but if not where in Florida does he teach (if he's real, someone ought to be able to come up with the name of a university)? I've already checked the faculty rosters at Florida State and the Univ. of Florida and he ain't there.

[Darnright]

"If you check out some of his other "columns" on that web site I think it becomes pretty obvious that this is satire."

Dang! Thanks for posting the quotes from his other columns. Nobody could actually write that stuff without first planting tongue firmly in cheek.

I have to give him credit, he sure had me going. He certainly keeps the residents of Pensacola more than a little riled.

[cake_crumb]

OK...I emailed him.

I could like to compliment you on your excellent satire, "Saving Alaska", published in Gulf1.

I particularly loved the contention that the US, at 225 years old, is to blame for thousands of years of "oppression" in the Mideast! LOL. You're subtle jab at the totalitarianism of Islamic regimes was WONDERFUL! Everyone knows the oppression didn't start until Islam, and Islam is only around 1,300 years old...but extremist apologists don't know we know that, I agree.

I also loved the end, with the reference to the "dependable" mass transit system, as opposed to "huge automobiles", and giving the reason that it doesn't matter if it takes four or five hours to get to work and back. Priceless!

I look forward to reading more of your excellent work in the future.

[cake_crumb]

DARN IT, you beat me to it! I thought I was the first one to use that angle!

Good work, though. Excellent reply.

[Go Gordon]

The writer obviously doesn't realize that wealth can be created and that the economy isn't a zero-sum game.

Can you imagine what the conditions would be over there if the big bad US hadn't shown the rag heads how to explore for and drill for oil, and then purchase it from them? The guy is a moron. They should be thanking the US for having given them a means to have a lifespan longer than a camel (martyrdom not included).

[Sandy]

People, this column highlights what we're up against...

Get real. This is obviously satire.

[Sandy]

"Dr. Wallace teaches at a very prestigious University." -- Dead giveaway...the guy is kidding.

[Sandy]

I have to give him credit, he sure had me going.

He had a lot of people going, apparently. Darned good post, imo.

[MeekOneGOP]

LOL! Good one! Yours will probably get his attn more than mine will! :O)