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Warm embrace for kids, or merely a psycho cry fest
The Seattle Times ^ | Wednesday, April 10, 2002 - | Keith Ervin

Posted on 04/10/2002 9:29:38 AM PDT by TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig

Sitting in small circles, their knees touching, students shared their own hurt and the pain they had inflicted on others.

The tears flowed. In some groups, half the Washington Middle School students were crying at once.

Applause followed, as the seventh- and eighth-graders stepped up to roving microphones and declared what they would do to mend broken relationships with their schoolmates.

Two boys shook hands after one apologized for making fun of the other, and said he hoped to be more supportive.

A girl owned up to snubbing an old friend. "I'm sorry that I've been very distant and that I've chosen other friends in school," she said. "I'm going to work on that, and I'm going to be a better friend."

The girls embraced.

Challenge Day, a workshop aimed at creating a safe school environment free of teasing and harassment, has come to Seattle public schools.

Students and staff members were effusive in their praise for the fast-growing program. Nearly 300 students from Washington and Meany middle schools participated in three daylong sessions last week.

But the emotional intensity of the workshops — and their promotion of encounter-style seminars by a controversial for-profit company — have led critics to suggest the schools have strayed into inappropriate areas.

Challenge Day participants received information packets about a seminar offered in Seattle next month by Resource Realizations, a Scottsdale, Ariz., company best known for its work in residential behavior-modification programs for troubled teens. The company's seminars also were plugged at free parent workshops in the schools.

The Rev. Ron Davis, pastor of Magnolia Presbyterian Church and the father of a Washington eighth-grader who did not attend Challenge Day, said he was concerned about the involvement of Resource Realizations.

"You open the door, you make kids vulnerable, you hand them off to Resource Realizations. I find that unacceptable," Davis said.

Last week's workshops, described by one student as "a psycho cry fest," were the first joint venture involving Resource Realizations, the separate, nonprofit Challenge Day organization, graduates of Resource Realizations seminars, and public schools.

Washington Principal Marilyn Day said she had been unaware of Resource Realizations' partnership with Challenge Day but did not view the workshops as attempts to recruit students to seminars. She said families won't sign up for seminars if they feel they are inappropriate.

Meany Middle School Principal Christi Clark could not be reached for comment.

Superintendent Joseph Olchefske said he had little information about the events and expects middle-schools director Donna Hudson to speak with the principals after spring break.

Olchefske noted that Seattle schools are allowed considerable discretion in deciding what is beneficial for students and are encouraged to form partnerships with outside groups. However, "Clearly, the idea of marketing through kids is something we frown on," he said.

A letter from Resource Realizations founder David Gilcrease to the parents of Challenge Day participants said "the next step for your teen" is the company's three-day, $295 Teen Discovery seminar. Brochures were provided for a May 3-5 seminar at the Ramada Inn on Northgate Way.

"While Challenge Day is a critical first step, a one-day learning experience only goes so far," Gilcrease wrote. "To create truly lasting transformation in their lives, most teens need more."

Critics have accused Resource Realizations' seminars, like the better-known est and Lifespring trainings of the 1970s, of "brainwashing" participants. Gilcrease was a Lifespring facilitator for five years before starting his own company in 1986.

Resource Realizations is a defendant in several lawsuits in which parents claim their children were emotionally abused by seminar facilitators or staff at behavior-therapy facilities where teen seminars are held. The company denies the allegations.

Until now, the seminars have been pitched primarily to teens and parents of teens in the five member programs of the St. George, Utah-based World Wide Association of Specialty Programs.

The pilot program in Seattle is the first step in bringing the seminars to a larger market.

Gilcrease said the new approach offers "a huge potential growth area" for his $2 million-a-year company, but the motivation isn't financial.

"We make pretty good money. I don't need money. We want to make a difference. We've got some serious problems here," Gilcrease said.

Family Visions Foundation, created by seminar graduates, paid nearly $10,000 for the middle schools' Challenge Days as part of an effort to reach a broader range of families, including those not in crisis, said Family Visions board member Michele Anciaux Aoki, who arranged the Washington and Meany workshops.

"It's been a gift to our family," Aoki said of the seminars she has attended with her husband since she took her struggling 16-year-old son to Spring Creek Lodge in Thompson Falls, Mont., three years ago.

Aoki, co-president of the Parent Teacher Student Association at Washington Middle School, is one of many parents who credit the seminars with motivating their children to straighten up and with bringing families back together.

Mort Hurt, who went through seminars to support his daughter nine years ago, called it "a life-changing experience. ... If we had a program like this worldwide, we wouldn't be having the problems we face today."

Schools, eager to find antidotes to the damaging effects of cliques, bullying, and drug and alcohol abuse, have embraced Challenge Day in growing numbers. St. Joseph School in Seattle offered the program to sixth- through eighth-graders in February.

Challenge Day, created in 1987 by teen intervention counselors Yvonne and Rich St. John-Dutra, has expanded rapidly since a story about it appeared in the best-selling book "Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul." The organization's headquarters are in Martinez, Calif.

At Washington Middle School's Challenge Day, students stood behind a blue line stretched across the large social hall in St. Joseph Church on Capitol Hill.

Students and staff members silently crossed the line if various life experiences applied to them. Have you or a friend or family member faced a problem with alcohol or drugs? Has a loved one died of a serious illness? Has one been beaten or killed?

Have you contemplated suicide or known someone who killed himself? Have you ever been teased because you were considered too skinny? Too fat?

Have you been poor, homeless or on welfare?

Students reflected on what they had learned, then made public apologies to their schoolmates.

After the final exercise — hugging as many people as possible in two minutes, to the theme from "Rocky" — eighth-grader Sydney Simon said of Challenge Day, "It changed me. I feel more compassionate and loving toward everybody. Differences don't matter so much anymore."

Her feeling was widely shared. One boy later told a counselor it had been the best day of his life; he felt as though 80 pounds had been lifted from his shoulders.

St. Joseph School Administrator George Hofbauer called Challenge Day "a phenomenally powerful experience" that made students more sensitive to their schoolmates' feelings. He said the school funded the program before Challenge Day and Resource Realizations formed their partnership.

Meany social-studies teacher Jamie Asaka called the experience "just fabulous." But a couple of students asked her, "OK, now we've opened up our wounds. Are we going to get a chance to deal with some of these things?"

Challenge Day was, overall, a very positive experience, but some parts may have been "a little bit too raw, a little too intense," said Meany head counselor Sally Graham-Hurt. School staffers are now discussing a possible follow-up program with the Northwest Family Visions Foundation.

Graham-Hurt said she had "twinges of discomfort" over the promotion of Resource Realizations seminars to students.

Some participants in those seminars have been offended by the experience. Clayton, Calif., piano dealer Kendall Ross Bean said he dropped out when he was told to affirm his trust in other group members by telling his "deepest, darkest secret" to the next person he came to.

Thomas Burton, a Pleasanton, Calif., attorney representing several parents and children suing Resource Realizations and the behavior-modification facilities that contract for the seminars, said one client was told to wear a sign saying "Slut" after she confided she had been sexually abused. The girl also was told to wear a fishnet top and assume sexually provocative poses, Burton said.

Founder Gilcrease said he was unaware of Burton's allegation and said such tactics would not be used in any of his company's seminars. "They're tough and they're fair and they're not about degrading people," he said.

Gilcrease also said the "script" for seminar facilitators does not include asking participants to reveal their deepest, darkest secrets. However, participants are encouraged to face painful truths that might stand in the way of healthy family relationships, he said.


TOPICS: Activism/Chapters; Culture/Society; Government; News/Current Events; US: Washington
KEYWORDS: cryfest; homeschool; publicschool
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So much to say and only so much bandwidth to work with.
1 posted on 04/10/2002 9:29:38 AM PDT by TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig
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To: summer; libertina
Please bump this to any other teachers you know. I would like to hear from any teachers or parents who have had events like this going on in their schools.
2 posted on 04/10/2002 9:31:52 AM PDT by TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig
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Comment #3 Removed by Moderator

To: big ern
"One boy later told a counselor it had been the best day of his life; he felt as though 80 pounds had been lifted from his shoulders. "

Yeah, but can he read? Sheesh.

4 posted on 04/10/2002 9:33:21 AM PDT by noexcuses
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To: noexcuses
Wait until some kid figures out all those tears he shed on challenge day doesn't mean D%^^ when two weeks later he is still being called pinapple face because of his acne.

Then when he goes postal it will be the NRA's fault.

5 posted on 04/10/2002 9:37:01 AM PDT by TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig
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To: right_to_defend
Challenge day sounds like a great place for boys to meet girls. At that age girls like the crying sensitive/feminine (look at the boy bands, Leonardo Di Caprio, etc.) type boy.

Go to challenge day, cry on a girl's shoulder, and come away with a girlfriend.

6 posted on 04/10/2002 9:44:56 AM PDT by TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig
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To: big ern
I live in downtown Seattle and can witness to the rest of you that this city is chalk-full of slack-jawed, prattle-headed twits.
7 posted on 04/10/2002 9:48:59 AM PDT by Psycho_Bunny
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To: big ern
"A letter from Resource Realizations founder David Gilcrease to the parents of Challenge Day participants said "the next step for your teen" is the company's three-day, $295 Teen Discovery seminar. Brochures were provided for a May 3-5 seminar at the Ramada Inn on Northgate Way."

This seminar sounds fun (:-)

8 posted on 04/10/2002 9:49:28 AM PDT by Jakarta ex-pat
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To: big ern
After the final exercise — hugging as many people as possible in two minutes, to the theme from "Rocky"

Great! Group grope on school time and it's actually encouraged. And I bet the girls won't file harassment charges because it's part of challenge day!

Are all staff members and participating teachers licensed psychologists? If not why are they doing psychotherapy on our kids?

More and more I believe that those who choose to teach in government schools (and participate in this type of crime) should be at a minimum tarred and feathered. (I realize that some Freepers are trapped in the government schools. I hope they don't support this sort of crime against our children and our country)

God Save America (Please)

9 posted on 04/10/2002 9:51:01 AM PDT by John O
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To: big ern
Aoki, co-president of the Parent Teacher Student Association at Washington Middle School, is one of many parents who credit the seminars with motivating their children to straighten up and with bringing families back together.

Maybe Aoki should stand up and take some responsibility for his family instead of handing it off to the government or some private corporation.

Mort Hurt, who went through seminars to support his daughter nine years ago, called it "a life-changing experience. ... If we had a program like this worldwide, we wouldn't be having the problems we face today."

Sounds like Mort-the-father went bye bye years ago.

Schools, eager to find antidotes to the damaging effects of cliques, bullying, and drug and alcohol abuse, have embraced Challenge Day in growing numbers. St. Joseph School in Seattle offered the program to sixth- through eighth-graders in February.

I prefer the antidotes called homeschooling and parental responsibility.

10 posted on 04/10/2002 10:04:22 AM PDT by Pete
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To: big ern
Meany Middle School Principal Christi Clark could not be reached for comment.

Obviously, the first thing they need to do is change the name of the school. :)

11 posted on 04/10/2002 10:05:42 AM PDT by Colonel_Flagg
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To: Pete
For the record, Aoki is a woman.
12 posted on 04/10/2002 10:11:54 AM PDT by TheErnFormerlyKnownAsBig
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To: Colonel_Flagg; aculeus; Orual
Meany Middle School

Great catch.

13 posted on 04/10/2002 10:12:57 AM PDT by dighton
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To: big ern
Get your kids out of public school.
14 posted on 04/10/2002 10:25:05 AM PDT by Freakazoid
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To: Pete
I prefer the antidotes called homeschooling and parental responsibility.

Yes, whatever happened to the concept of parents teaching their children how to be respectful and kind to others?

15 posted on 04/10/2002 10:52:58 AM PDT by scholar
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To: Psycho_Bunny
"I live in downtown Seattle and can witness to the rest of you that this city is chalk-full of slack-jawed, prattle-headed twits."

I used to live in Durango, Co. and I know that a lot of kooky stuff originates in Scottsdale, Az. Actually, I'm surprised that the students werent required to bring crystals, tips about alinging their chakras, and that they werent taken to "sacred" vortexes and energy points in the mountains to facilitate their "healing."

When it comes to the promotion/creation of whack-jobs, Scottsdale is right up their with Seattle, San Francisco, LA, and NYC. (IMHO)

-robo-

16 posted on 04/10/2002 11:02:37 AM PDT by robomatik
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To: dighton; aculeus
Critics have accused Resource Realizations' seminars, like the better-known est and Lifespring trainings of the 1970s, of "brainwashing" participants.


17 posted on 04/10/2002 11:05:15 AM PDT by Orual
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To: scholar
Yes, whatever happened to the concept of parents teaching their children how to be respectful and kind to others?

For many parents, it disappeared when they dropped 6-week old Johnny or Janey at the daycare center. At that point, the inconvenience some call a kid became someone else's problem, right?. After daycare, it was into the government schools. My kid must be learning. He's in school, isn't he? Hey, this is great! Now I can focus on my career and get more stuff.

Johnny is misbehaving? Here's some ritalin. Johnny isn't learning? - poof - A "D" is a "B". Don't worry Mom and Dad, we will take good care of our...I mean your... kid - fill his brain with all the right stuff. You just leave it to us. And if things get a little out of control, well, hey, we'll have a group hug.

18 posted on 04/10/2002 11:06:38 AM PDT by Pete
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To: big ern
A letter from Resource Realizations founder David Gilcrease to the parents of Challenge Day participants said "the next step for your teen" is the company's three-day, $295 Teen Discovery seminar. Brochures were provided for a May 3-5 seminar at the Ramada Inn on Northgate Way.

"While Challenge Day is a critical first step, a one-day learning experience only goes so far," Gilcrease wrote. "To create truly lasting transformation in their lives, most teens need more."


I am very troubled by this, as it is clearly an attempt to use the schools solely for marketing purposes. Anyone with more than 1/10th of a brain can see that. Why the principal and superintendent allowed this is a highly material question -- are they part owners in this company?

I certainly understand the need to have order in the schools -- and, to have students devoting their time to their studies, as opposed to wasting time on bullying and fighting.

Here is how I solved a problem with inappropriate student conduct here in a FL middle school where I taught, and this is a true story I have told before on this forum:

I told this male student that if he didn't shape up, I would call his parents and ask them to come and attend class with him -- and sit next to him in class.

Well, this kid just about died of embarassment at the mere thought of one or both of his parents hanging around him all day at school -- because he knew his parents would have done this at my request.

He shaped up.
19 posted on 04/10/2002 11:12:41 AM PDT by summer
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To: big ern; KC_for_freedom, Amelia, truthkeeper, rightofrush, Teacher317, ExSoldier, RobbyS
Please see posts #2 and #19. Thanks!

cc: big ern
20 posted on 04/10/2002 11:14:38 AM PDT by summer
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