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Yates lived by rigid schedule, according to husband
The Dallas Morning News ^ | March 1, 2002 (The Ides of March are upon us!) | By TERRI LANGFORD / The Dallas Morning News

Posted on 03/01/2002 1:45:51 AM PST by MeekOneGOP


Yates lived by rigid schedule, according to husband

Husband also testifies she was allowed 3 hours a week without her kids

03/01/2002

By TERRI LANGFORD / The Dallas Morning News

HOUSTON - Russell "Rusty" Yates told jurors Thursday about how his wife, Andrea, lived by a rigid schedule as housekeeper and teacher and was allowed three hours each week to do whatever she wanted, alone, without her children.

"Man's the breadwinner and the woman's the homemaker," Mr. Yates said Thursday during Mrs. Yates' capital murder trial. Mrs. Yates pleaded insanity after admitting that she drowned her five children in June.

While he talked proudly of the couple's decision to toe a higher ethical line based on biblical teachings and lessons gleaned from a conservative newsletter called "Perilous Times," Mr. Yates coincidentally painted a picture for jurors of a bleak life bereft of any outlet for Mrs. Yates besides her children.

*
AP
"A scared animal" is how Debbie Holmes testified that her friend Andrea Yates behaved in the days before she killed her children.

Mr. Yates, 37, told the jury that he and his wife agreed before their wedding in 1993 to a "traditional" marriage in which he would serve as sole breadwinner and she would be homemaker.

The pact included being a stay-at-home mother, primary caregiver and, eventually, home-school teacher. Mr. Yates said that he controlled the cash and that she stuck carefully to an allowance.

Therapist Earline Wilcott, who met with Mrs. Yates after her suicide attempts, testified that her client felt overwhelmed and trapped.

Ms. Wilcott said Mrs. Yates felt criticized for the way she ran the household. Ms. Wilcott said Mrs. Yates told her that her husband bought her a book on how to get organized.

When pressure from raising their children appeared to be getting to Mrs. Yates, she could always look forward to Thursdays. Mr. Yates testified that for three hours once each week from 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. Mrs. Yates could do whatever she wanted, alone, without the children.

The free time was to provide some relief for his wife, Mr. Yates said. "I guess that's what we decided," he said.

Mrs. Yates is a diagnosed schizophrenic predisposed to pitch-black depressions that followed the births of her last two children. Testimony has shown that the 37-year-old registered nurse with perfectionist tendencies and a solid Christian faith went along with the home management plan she and Mr. Yates hammered out before marriage.

During a second day of testimony, this time during questioning by Harris County prosecutor Joe Owmby, Mr. Yates, a NASA engineer, said he and Mrs. Yates agreed before marrying that she would give up her job at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center at Houston.

"We thought it best that Andrea be home," Mr. Yates testified.

Prosecutors say Mrs. Yates was fully aware of what she was doing when she drowned Noah, 7; John, 5; Paul, 3; Luke, 2; and 6-month-old Mary in the family bathtub.

Mrs. Yates' trial, which began Feb. 18, is expected to go through next week. She faces life in prison or lethal injection if convicted.

During questioning, Mr. Yates said his wife was quiet and remarkably modest. After they were married, Mrs. Yates wouldn't undress in front of her husband. "That's a pretty personal question, but generally that's true. She's shy," he testified.

While Mr. Yates found time for interests such as biking to work, joining a gym and working in the garage, Mrs. Yates had the children and home-schooling to keep up with.

Their life also included some unusual experiments and choices.

Almost as soon as their first home was built, they rented it out, trading it for a 38-foot trailer to live a "simpler life."

"I think a lot of it was that Andrea was generally happy in the house, I probably wasn't as happy in the house," he said.

After being married 41/2 years, with three young children and another on the way, they sold the trailer for a $37,000 converted Greyhound bus.

"I didn't view it as a hardship," Mr. Yates said. "We like it better than a house."

After the 1999 birth of their fourth child, Luke, the close quarters appeared to get to her. She summoned her husband home one day. He found her sobbing and shaking in the back of the bus.

The next day, she took an overdose. Less than a month later, she held a knife to her throat.

Mr. Yates told jurors how he faithfully drove his wife to therapy after her two suicide attempts.

He also told jurors that his wife opted for natural childbirth.

Although he conceded that the newsletter he and his wife read advocated natural childbirth for a "humbling experience for a woman," Mr. Yates said it was his wife's idea to go without local anesthetic.

"It was her choice," he said. "Sometimes Andrea liked to take the hard road instead of an easy road."

Despite warnings from at least one psychiatrist who said having more children would bring Mrs. Yates a harsher version of the depression that sent her to try to kill herself, they had a fifth child on Nov. 30, 2000.

They knew that Haldol pulled her out of the depths in 1999, after the birth of Luke. When Mrs. Yates faltered again, particularly after her father died in March 2001, they asked for the drug again.

"I knew she was sick," Mr. Yates said. "She wouldn't have tried to commit suicide if she hadn't been sick."

Four days before she drowned her children, Mrs. Yates awoke screaming that she was trapped. As her husband comforted her, she told him about her nightmare. "Something about in her dream she was trapped in her bed," Mr. Yates said.

"A scared animal" is how Debbie Holmes later testified that Mrs. Yates behaved in the days before she killed her children. The women met about 16 years ago at M.D. Anderson.

Mrs. Holmes said Mrs. Yates spoke only three complete sentences to her in the four months before the children died. Her hair greasy and matted, her body reeking, Mrs. Yates was a walking zombie then, Mrs. Holmes said.

"I was appalled," said Mrs. Holmes. "She looked like a cancer patient." When she heard that the children were drowned, a teary Mrs. Holmes said she collapsed.

"I fell on the floor, and I just cried," Mrs. Holmes said. "I was screaming. It can't be my Andrea."


Online at: http://www.dallasnews.com/latestnews/stories/030102dntexyates.278df.html


TOPICS: Crime/Corruption; News/Current Events
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To: Slyfox
I have two friends who are married to wonderful guys who just happen to believe that a woman's place is in the home. These husband's generally do not scrub floors or wash windows. Each of the couples have more than six children. Both of my friend's homeschool, both are Christian, both do not work outside the home.

I don't have a problem with that at all. I was a Christian stay at home mom that has devoted much of my life to my husband and child (now grown).Heck, I even think natural childbirth and breastfeeding are great. I even had my child at home because I wanted to. If I had it to do all over again I would probably home school too. I usually do most of the housework and my husband does most of the things like maintenance and car repairs. But because my husband loves me, if he saw that I was ill or overwhelmed with some problem he would gladly step in and take over some of my responsibilites just as I would do for him.

441 posted on 03/01/2002 2:41:19 PM PST by muggs
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To: muggs
I hope he gets punished for his part...

Undoutedly he will. But before you go off half-cocked (p.i.)
on this guy, consider the following:
1 - the report is only part of the story (and has some obvious bias to boot)
2 - Axis of Evil Rusty is testifying for the defense
3 - Andrea the Angel had enough on the ball to get a nursing degree
4 - Andrea the Angel had enough on the ball to get a professional job
5 - Women have raised families in worse conditions (e.g., caves, mud huts, etc.)
6 - Andrea the Angel agreed to some, if not all, of her living conditions
7 - Axis of Evil Randy apparently discussed this all upfront with her.
8 - Andrea the Angel's psych conditions were triggered by childbirth.
9 - Axis of Evil Randy got her help psych and pharmaceutical help.
10 - Axis of Evil Randy arranged for in-home assistance for her.
11 - Andrea the Angel was taken off her meds just 2 weeks before she blew.
12 - There may be conflicting professional opinions on her condition.
In a sick home, what is "truth" is very hard to determine. Just because
someone said something that in hindsight turns out to be prescient doesn't
mean that it was obviously a call for action. I'm not excusing ol' Rusty,
by any means. But your condemming him based on inference, not from the
whole truth. I admit the 3 hour free time comment raised alarms, but
I don't know the whole of the situation yet. And I can imagine scenarios
where it all made 'sense'.
442 posted on 03/01/2002 2:41:54 PM PST by My Identity
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To: My Identity
I never, ever said I thought Andrea was an angel and her husband was totally at fault. I also know more than I wish I did about mental illness and how hard it can be to help someone, especially once they are no longer a minor. The system stinks and I don't claim to have all the answers but i still think he should have tried harder and if he even suspected his wife was a danger to the children he should have either had her removed from the house or the children removed.
443 posted on 03/01/2002 2:53:58 PM PST by muggs
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To: knuthom, Jennifer in Florida
"The husband as breadwinner, the wife as homemaker and mother
natural childbirth
home schooling

Don't buy into the line that these things were enough to cause the problems Andrea Yates had. I have lived like this for 25 years and know lots of other happy, well-adjusted families who do also.
"

(And other comments along those lines.)

Come on. Use your brains for heaven's sakes.

You two (and a few others) are making the same mistake the liberals want to in throwing all homeschooling, stay-at-home moms into the same category as the Yates' style.

If not, and you really are living like she did, then you need help. Serious help.

444 posted on 03/01/2002 2:54:04 PM PST by SKempis
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To: craigoethe
You sound like a wonderful Christian husband and dad that anyone would love to be married to. Good for you !
445 posted on 03/01/2002 2:55:40 PM PST by xsmommy
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To: Illbay
I'm telling you: If you swallow that "no woman is capable of doing evil unless she's robot-controlled by an evil man" garbage, you're doing the NAG Two-Step

well clearly then, you haven't read a thing i have said here, and therefore you have even MORE nerve making assumptions about what i am and what i believe. i think this woman was evil and deserves to die. HOWEVER, i think that her husband is EQUALLY to blame for the murder of his children, by NOT removing them from her care, in whatever way possible. Now how you get from THAT to me being a feminist, and doing the NAG two-step, i have no idea, but you are certainly entitled to your own mental pathology.

446 posted on 03/01/2002 3:01:54 PM PST by xsmommy
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To: Illbay
"Women should never be allowed to sit on juries. Justice is too precious."

Note to any Liberal who would like to paint us all as potential Yates': The only reason you see no flames for this is because everyone knows better than to argue with a fool.

(At least I hope. If many Freepers agree with Illbay, Lord help us.)

447 posted on 03/01/2002 3:04:58 PM PST by SKempis
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To: SKempis
My wife and I are born-again Christians. She originally opted for natural childbirth, not because she thought she had to endure pain because the Bible says so, but she thought it would be be more fulfilling. I just grinned (nauseaously.....I'm a pain wuss) and said, "Ok, hon.....". Well, after a few good contractions she motioned to me and the doc. "Bring the painkillers......NOW PLEASE." Once again, I said, "Ok, hon."

I was not the one trying to pass a watermellon through a hole the size of a lemon. If she wanted painkillers, she was getting them. I do not believe God intended my wife to suffer.

Yates is a control freak. Now he has nothing left to control. Sadly, I bet he'll find some new sucker in a few years.

448 posted on 03/01/2002 3:06:46 PM PST by craigoethe
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To: muggs
But because my husband loves me, if he saw that I was ill or overwhelmed with some problem he would gladly step in and take over some of my responsibilites just as I would do for him.

What makes you think Russell did nothing? I remember right after it all took place hearing him say that he had had a talk with the kids about being nice to mommy because she wasn't feeling well and he had a poster on the refrigerator to remind them while he was at work. And he got his mother to move to Houston to help with the baby. Most people don't plan for dealing with a mental illness. It is usually is thrust upon them. I would rather temper my thoughts about his actions. He didn't drown his children, his mentally ill wife did. Everyone is trying to ignore the mental illness as if it wasn't really the problem. Russell didn't vaccumm. Russell didn't clean the toilet. Russell didn't do the dishes. Russell the cad is to blame for his wife's actions. I don't buy it. There is only so much a man can do with a wife who is out of her mind.

449 posted on 03/01/2002 3:08:23 PM PST by Slyfox
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To: one_particular_harbour
Charmin? You think he let her use the good stuff? That nice soft stuff was probably saved for his ass. She probably had to use that stuff that is like notebook paper.
450 posted on 03/01/2002 3:09:37 PM PST by Bella_Bru
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To: Slyfox
And a wife who is out of her mind should not be having anymore children. Didn't she have a breakdown after the 4th? What, did he think another child would be a good thing for someone already on the edge?
451 posted on 03/01/2002 3:11:00 PM PST by Bella_Bru
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To: one_particular_harbour; bella_bru
He probably counted the sheets of Charmin, too, and yelled if she wasted any. Guys like him are cheap, too.

I can't spare a square. I don't have a square to spare.

452 posted on 03/01/2002 3:14:50 PM PST by NeoCaveman
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To: Slyfox
This is my last post on this thread, I have already spent to much time here. When this first occured I defended the guy when everyone said he was acting strange, like how many of of have a spouse that kills all our children and we would know exactly how we would act. How could anyone act "normal" after something so terrible happens. But the more that comes out about how controlling he was the more I feel he is partially to blame. A mentally sick woman and he schedules in 3 hours a week for her to have to herself while he goes to the gym whenever he feels like it. He had a responsibility to his children and he failed them and now they are dead.
453 posted on 03/01/2002 3:18:21 PM PST by muggs
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To: dubyaismypresident
Ohhh....that episode of Seifeld was hysterical.......:-)
454 posted on 03/01/2002 3:19:16 PM PST by Bella_Bru
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To: KentuckyWoman
Of course, I got out of the controlled/dangerous relationship (finally - after 14 years) so maybe I'm just a more self-reliant sort than she is.

So glad you did, KW!
I can't imagine what those kids went through that morning. How horrible for them. . .

455 posted on 03/01/2002 3:21:30 PM PST by MeekOneGOP
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To: xsmommy
HOWEVER, i think that her husband is EQUALLY to blame for the murder of his children,...

I may now rest my case, dear lady.

This notion of "equal responsiblity" would NEVER have come up if it were HE who did the deed. In that case, you'd be on here wailing about how you "Identify With Poor Andrea As A Mother Yourself(TM)."

456 posted on 03/01/2002 3:27:28 PM PST by Illbay
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To: Bella_Bru
Perfect example of the kind of wild speculation that just builds and builds.

This guy's gonna be lynched one day, all because of no-brains like you.

457 posted on 03/01/2002 3:29:00 PM PST by Illbay
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To: KentuckyWoman
"Sorry to rant so but as a mother of three children who also home-schools and knows from experience what being married to an alcholic control freak who didn't even give me three hours for myself, no car, no phone, no money and no close neighbors, I CANNOT for the life of me even consider this woman as part of the human race! Of course, I got out of the controlled/dangerous relationship (finally - after 14 years) so maybe I'm just a more self-reliant sort than she is."

No.....maybe you're sane and she wasn't. Factor in severe post partum depression, psychosis, possible schizophrenia, and who knows what not--all documented over many years--not to mention being taken off off the drugs that kept her "somewhat" together.

I can't understand her. I can't excuse her. I do know mitigating circumstances when I see them. The woman was nuts, and didn't get the help she needed.

I also cried when I heard about the kids. I'm right here in the Houston area, too.

458 posted on 03/01/2002 3:32:23 PM PST by joathome
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Comment #459 Removed by Moderator

Comment #460 Removed by Moderator


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