Yates lived by rigid schedule, according to husband

The Dallas Morning News ^ | March 1, 2002 (The Ides of March are upon us!) | By TERRI LANGFORD / The Dallas Morning News

[muggs]

I have two friends who are married to wonderful guys who just happen to believe that a woman's place is in the home. These husband's generally do not scrub floors or wash windows. Each of the couples have more than six children. Both of my friend's homeschool, both are Christian, both do not work outside the home.

I don't have a problem with that at all. I was a Christian stay at home mom that has devoted much of my life to my husband and child (now grown).Heck, I even think natural childbirth and breastfeeding are great. I even had my child at home because I wanted to. If I had it to do all over again I would probably home school too. I usually do most of the housework and my husband does most of the things like maintenance and car repairs. But because my husband loves me, if he saw that I was ill or overwhelmed with some problem he would gladly step in and take over some of my responsibilites just as I would do for him.

[My Identity]

I hope he gets punished for his part...

Undoutedly he will. But before you go off half-cocked (p.i.)
on this guy, consider the following:
1 - the report is only part of the story (and has some obvious bias to boot)
2 - Axis of Evil Rusty is testifying for the defense
3 - Andrea the Angel had enough on the ball to get a nursing degree
4 - Andrea the Angel had enough on the ball to get a professional job
5 - Women have raised families in worse conditions (e.g., caves, mud huts, etc.)
6 - Andrea the Angel agreed to some, if not all, of her living conditions
7 - Axis of Evil Randy apparently discussed this all upfront with her.
8 - Andrea the Angel's psych conditions were triggered by childbirth.
9 - Axis of Evil Randy got her help psych and pharmaceutical help.
10 - Axis of Evil Randy arranged for in-home assistance for her.
11 - Andrea the Angel was taken off her meds just 2 weeks before she blew.
12 - There may be conflicting professional opinions on her condition.
In a sick home, what is "truth" is very hard to determine. Just because
someone said something that in hindsight turns out to be prescient doesn't
mean that it was obviously a call for action. I'm not excusing ol' Rusty,
by any means. But your condemming him based on inference, not from the
whole truth. I admit the 3 hour free time comment raised alarms, but
I don't know the whole of the situation yet. And I can imagine scenarios
where it all made 'sense'.

[muggs]

I never, ever said I thought Andrea was an angel and her husband was totally at fault. I also know more than I wish I did about mental illness and how hard it can be to help someone, especially once they are no longer a minor. The system stinks and I don't claim to have all the answers but i still think he should have tried harder and if he even suspected his wife was a danger to the children he should have either had her removed from the house or the children removed.

[SKempis]

"The husband as breadwinner, the wife as homemaker and mother
natural childbirth
home schooling

Don't buy into the line that these things were enough to cause the problems Andrea Yates had. I have lived like this for 25 years and know lots of other happy, well-adjusted families who do also."

(And other comments along those lines.)

Come on. Use your brains for heaven's sakes.

You two (and a few others) are making the same mistake the liberals want to in throwing all homeschooling, stay-at-home moms into the same category as the Yates' style.

If not, and you really are living like she did, then you need help. Serious help.

[xsmommy]

You sound like a wonderful Christian husband and dad that anyone would love to be married to. Good for you !

[xsmommy]

I'm telling you: If you swallow that "no woman is capable of doing evil unless she's robot-controlled by an evil man" garbage, you're doing the NAG Two-Step

well clearly then, you haven't read a thing i have said here, and therefore you have even MORE nerve making assumptions about what i am and what i believe. i think this woman was evil and deserves to die. HOWEVER, i think that her husband is EQUALLY to blame for the murder of his children, by NOT removing them from her care, in whatever way possible. Now how you get from THAT to me being a feminist, and doing the NAG two-step, i have no idea, but you are certainly entitled to your own mental pathology.

[SKempis]

"Women should never be allowed to sit on juries. Justice is too precious."

Note to any Liberal who would like to paint us all as potential Yates': The only reason you see no flames for this is because everyone knows better than to argue with a fool.

(At least I hope. If many Freepers agree with Illbay, Lord help us.)

[craigoethe]

My wife and I are born-again Christians. She originally opted for natural childbirth, not because she thought she had to endure pain because the Bible says so, but she thought it would be be more fulfilling. I just grinned (nauseaously.....I'm a pain wuss) and said, "Ok, hon.....". Well, after a few good contractions she motioned to me and the doc. "Bring the painkillers......NOW PLEASE." Once again, I said, "Ok, hon."

I was not the one trying to pass a watermellon through a hole the size of a lemon. If she wanted painkillers, she was getting them. I do not believe God intended my wife to suffer.

Yates is a control freak. Now he has nothing left to control. Sadly, I bet he'll find some new sucker in a few years.

[Slyfox]

But because my husband loves me, if he saw that I was ill or overwhelmed with some problem he would gladly step in and take over some of my responsibilites just as I would do for him.

What makes you think Russell did nothing? I remember right after it all took place hearing him say that he had had a talk with the kids about being nice to mommy because she wasn't feeling well and he had a poster on the refrigerator to remind them while he was at work. And he got his mother to move to Houston to help with the baby. Most people don't plan for dealing with a mental illness. It is usually is thrust upon them. I would rather temper my thoughts about his actions. He didn't drown his children, his mentally ill wife did. Everyone is trying to ignore the mental illness as if it wasn't really the problem. Russell didn't vaccumm. Russell didn't clean the toilet. Russell didn't do the dishes. Russell the cad is to blame for his wife's actions. I don't buy it. There is only so much a man can do with a wife who is out of her mind.

[Bella_Bru]

Charmin? You think he let her use the good stuff? That nice soft stuff was probably saved for his ass. She probably had to use that stuff that is like notebook paper.

[Bella_Bru]

And a wife who is out of her mind should not be having anymore children. Didn't she have a breakdown after the 4th? What, did he think another child would be a good thing for someone already on the edge?

[NeoCaveman]

He probably counted the sheets of Charmin, too, and yelled if she wasted any. Guys like him are cheap, too.

I can't spare a square. I don't have a square to spare.

[muggs]

This is my last post on this thread, I have already spent to much time here. When this first occured I defended the guy when everyone said he was acting strange, like how many of of have a spouse that kills all our children and we would know exactly how we would act. How could anyone act "normal" after something so terrible happens. But the more that comes out about how controlling he was the more I feel he is partially to blame. A mentally sick woman and he schedules in 3 hours a week for her to have to herself while he goes to the gym whenever he feels like it. He had a responsibility to his children and he failed them and now they are dead.

[Bella_Bru]

Ohhh....that episode of Seifeld was hysterical.......:-)

[MeekOneGOP]

Of course, I got out of the controlled/dangerous relationship (finally - after 14 years) so maybe I'm just a more self-reliant sort than she is.

So glad you did, KW!
I can't imagine what those kids went through that morning. How horrible for them. . .

[Illbay]

HOWEVER, i think that her husband is EQUALLY to blame for the murder of his children,...

I may now rest my case, dear lady.

This notion of "equal responsiblity" would NEVER have come up if it were HE who did the deed. In that case, you'd be on here wailing about how you "Identify With Poor Andrea As A Mother Yourself(TM)."

[Illbay]

Perfect example of the kind of wild speculation that just builds and builds.

This guy's gonna be lynched one day, all because of no-brains like you.

[joathome]

"Sorry to rant so but as a mother of three children who also home-schools and knows from experience what being married to an alcholic control freak who didn't even give me three hours for myself, no car, no phone, no money and no close neighbors, I CANNOT for the life of me even consider this woman as part of the human race! Of course, I got out of the controlled/dangerous relationship (finally - after 14 years) so maybe I'm just a more self-reliant sort than she is."

No.....maybe you're sane and she wasn't. Factor in severe post partum depression, psychosis, possible schizophrenia, and who knows what not--all documented over many years--not to mention being taken off off the drugs that kept her "somewhat" together.

I can't understand her. I can't excuse her. I do know mitigating circumstances when I see them. The woman was nuts, and didn't get the help she needed.

I also cried when I heard about the kids. I'm right here in the Houston area, too.