Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

HUMOR BREAK - Cows and Politics..........
David C. Osborne (Private E-mail) ^ | UNKNOWN | UNKNOWN

Posted on 01/30/2002 3:20:21 AM PST by davidosborne

I know this is an old one.. but one of my soldiers e-mailed it to me, and it made me chuckle, so I am passing it on..



Cows & Politics Explained

A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.

A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.

AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

AN AMERICAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous.

A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk.

A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

A BRITISH CORPORATION: You have two cows. They are mad. They die. Pass the shepherd's pie, please.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship both of them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported on them.

AN ISRAELI CORPORATION: There are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION: You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: cows; davidcosborne; moohammed; spartansixdelta; youvegotmail
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100101-110 next last
To: davidosborne; politicallyincarrect; /\XABN584; 3D-JOY; 5Madman; <1/1,000,000th%; 11B3; ...

Slow news day.. Decided we all needed a humor break.. dug this one out of the archives, for a stroll down memory lane.. hope this puts a smile on your face.. as always feel free to add some of you own.

David


81 posted on 10/11/2007 2:01:17 PM PDT by davidosborne (http://DuncanHunter.meetup.com/1 - GrassRoots Organization(s) to elect Duncan Hunter)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: davidosborne; devolve; ntnychik; PhilDragoo
My cow wears a Beanie Cap!! Lol

Hi David, haven't talked to you in a long time - since I took one of your polls I believe!



82 posted on 10/11/2007 2:09:12 PM PDT by potlatch (MIZARU_ooo_‹(•¿•)›_ooo_MIKAZARU_ooo_‹(•¿•)›_ooo_MAZARU_ooo_‹(•¿•)›_ooo_))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: davidosborne
Hey David!

Thanks as always.

Thanks for all you do for our Country.

Stay safe and God bless.

83 posted on 10/11/2007 2:12:26 PM PDT by cpforlife.org (A Catholic Respect Life Curriculum is available at KnightsForLife.org)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 81 | View Replies]

To: davidosborne

Thanks for the chuckle.


84 posted on 10/11/2007 2:23:23 PM PDT by processing please hold (Duncan Hunter '08) (ROP and Open Borders-a terrorist marriage and hell's coming with them)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 81 | View Replies]

To: potlatch

85 posted on 10/11/2007 2:25:44 PM PDT by devolve (---- -Secret_Asian_Man_&_Dr.No-No_Sorass_-)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 82 | View Replies]

To: davidosborne
AN AMERICAN REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?

We're heartless now. Thanks. Funny.

86 posted on 10/11/2007 2:28:49 PM PDT by Cyber Liberty (Don’t trust anyone who can’t take a joke. [Congressman BillyBob])
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: devolve

Lol, when I think of a ‘COW’ my vision is totally different than your hand raised pet there!!


87 posted on 10/11/2007 2:30:35 PM PDT by potlatch (MIZARU_ooo_‹(•¿•)›_ooo_MIKAZARU_ooo_‹(•¿•)›_ooo_MAZARU_ooo_‹(•¿•)›_ooo_))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 85 | View Replies]

To: davidosborne

BTTT


88 posted on 10/11/2007 2:38:45 PM PDT by E.G.C.
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 81 | View Replies]

To: Cyber Liberty

LOL, yeah it is an age old stereotype that some Republicans have been living up to..., but for the most part I believe the average Republican is FAR MORE generous than the average Democrat. LOL


89 posted on 10/11/2007 2:38:59 PM PDT by davidosborne (http://DuncanHunter.meetup.com/1 - GrassRoots Organization(s) to elect Duncan Hunter)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 86 | View Replies]

To: davidosborne

BTTT


90 posted on 10/11/2007 2:39:23 PM PDT by E.G.C.
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 80 | View Replies]

To: davidosborne

Thanks for posting. It did put a smile on my face.


91 posted on 10/11/2007 2:53:56 PM PDT by llmc1 ( Duncan Hunter '08)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 80 | View Replies]

To: davidosborne

92 posted on 10/11/2007 3:15:51 PM PDT by archy (Et Thybrim multo spumantem sanguine cerno. [from Virgil's *Aeneid*.])
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: davidosborne

How about:

American Republican: You have two cows. You pay somebody to milk your two cows so he can save and buy his own cows. You sell the milk, buy more cows with the money, and employ more people to milk your cows so THEY can buy their own cows.

Then you expand the operation and start making cheese!

OOPS - Did somebody say “CHEESE”?!!


93 posted on 10/11/2007 4:44:11 PM PDT by sneakers (This Pennsylvania gal supports DUNCAN HUNTER for President!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: davidosborne
Cows and Politics flash movie... pretty good!
94 posted on 10/11/2007 5:15:57 PM PDT by C210N
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: davidosborne

Bookmark


95 posted on 10/11/2007 5:20:43 PM PDT by DocRock (All they that take the sword shall perish with the sword. Matthew 26:52 ... Go ahead, look it up!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: C210N
Cows with guns is really good, and whilst on the topic, I also came across a fantastic halloween flash that is a must see for FR... so without furthur redo,

Happy Halloween FR!

96 posted on 10/11/2007 5:25:10 PM PDT by C210N
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 94 | View Replies]

To: davidosborne

Great thread, David. Thanks .......................... FRegards


97 posted on 10/11/2007 7:32:09 PM PDT by gonzo (My Mother never understood the irony of calling me a 'son-of-a-bitch' ...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 89 | View Replies]

To: C210N

Great. Great. Great. You have my vote for the best cow one liner. Arkansas. Fat Cow. ROFLMBO


98 posted on 10/12/2007 11:18:42 AM PDT by Frwy (Proud member of the vast right wing conspiracy.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 29 | View Replies]

To: sneakers
OOPS - Did somebody say “CHEESE”?!!

But the REAL question is - Who gets to cut the cheese?

99 posted on 10/12/2007 11:30:10 AM PDT by Just another Joe (Warning: FReeping can be addictive and helpful to your mental health)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 93 | View Replies]

To: fnord

What about the Coast Guard. And Seebee’s


100 posted on 10/12/2007 11:33:07 AM PDT by Frwy (Proud member of the vast right wing conspiracy.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 58 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 41-6061-8081-100101-110 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
News/Activism
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson