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We Don't Pump Our Own Gas in New Jersey
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Posted on 01/25/2002 12:11:36 PM PST by LoneGreenEyeshade

New Jersey, Love It or Leave It---I left it but still love it.

You know you are from Noo Jersey if:

1. You've been seriously injured at Action Park.
2. You don't think of citrus when people mention "The Oranges"..
3. You know that it's called Great Adventure, not Six Flags. .
4. You've ordered a hard roll with butter for breakfast. .
5. You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven. .
6. You've eaten at a diner at 3 a.m. .
7. You remember that the "Two Guys" were from Harrison. .
8. You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery. .
9. At last three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen and you know what town Jon Bon Jovi is from. .
10. You know what a "jug handle" is. .
11. You know that a WaWa is a convenience store. .
12. You know that the state isn't all farmland. .
13. You know that there are no "beaches" in New Jersey - there's "The Shore", and you know that the road to the shore is "The Parkway", not the "Garden State Highway"..
14. You know that "Piney" isn't referring to a tree. .
15. Even your school cafeteria made good Italian subs. And you call it a "Sub" not a "submarine sandwich" or worse yet, a "hoagy" or a "hero"..
16. You remember the song from the Palisades Park commercials. .
17. You know how to properly negotiate a Circle. .
18. You knew that the last question had to do with driving. .
19. You know that this is the only "New..." state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (like, try...Mexico, ...York, ...Hampshire - doesn't work, does it?) .
20. You only go to New York City for day trips, and you only call it "The City"..
21. You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich. .
22. You consider a corned beef sandwich with lettuce and mayo a sacrilege. .
23. In the 80's, you wore your hair REALLY high. .
24. You don't think "What exit" is very funny. .
25. You know that the first "strip shopping center" in the country is Route 22. .
26. You know that people from 609 area code are "a little different"..
27. You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton - that's for out-of-staters. .
28. The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar. .
29. You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls. .
30. You can see the Manhattan skyline from some part of your town. .
31. You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers. .
32. Every year, you had a least one kid in your class named Tony. .
33. You know where every "clip" shown in the Sopranos opening credits is. .
34. You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of the Willowbrook Mall. .
35. You've been to at least one mall in Paramus. .
36. You Know that people form North Jersey to go Seaside Heights, and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood. It can't be the other way around. .
37. You were not raised in New Jersey. You were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey. .
38. You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state. .
39. You remember the stores Korvette's, Rickel's, Channel, Bamburger's and Orbach's. .
40. You've eaten a Boardwalk cheesteak with vinegar fries. .
41. You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February. .
And finally... .
42. You've never pumped your own gas.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: gardenstate; gas; joke; newjersey; nj; noguns; pump; pumpinggas; sprint
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To: LoneGreenEyeshade
Rain and all. My father, who was born on the Olympic Peninsula, used to say that you could always tell who wasn't local -- they were using their windshield wipers.
41 posted on 01/25/2002 1:03:05 PM PST by DeaconBenjamin
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To: LoneGreenEyeshade
Forwarded to my daughter in Mahwah!
42 posted on 01/25/2002 1:04:41 PM PST by afraidfortherepublic
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To: LoneGreenEyeshade
About the only good thing in your whole list is number 42, and you can get that here in Oregon with a whole lot better scenery, and no sales tax. That may be why so many people have moved here recently...Hmmm.

On second thought, Jersey is a much better place. It's gray and miserable here all the time. You'd rust. Our income tax is one of the highest in the country...

43 posted on 01/25/2002 1:07:08 PM PST by Excuse_Me
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To: LoneGreenEyeshade
We moved to Virginia in June. Hubby and I were at the Home Depot buying a gas grill. A store clerk came over to us and said, "So what time do you want us over for dinner?" (She was joking with us.) I almost ran to the car. It took me a few minuets to realize she was being friendly, LOL,LOL.
44 posted on 01/25/2002 1:08:09 PM PST by Teacup
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To: BluH2o; Exit148
You rarely refer to an exit on the Jersey Turnpike by a name, always the number ...

Just ask FReeper, Exit148.

45 posted on 01/25/2002 1:08:39 PM PST by afraidfortherepublic
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To: LoneGreenEyeshade
i understand why you love washington- the natural beauty of the west coast is unsurpassed! i did alot of camping out west--olympic national park is just amazing! as i read your description of the hoh i am totally envious of you out there! (but still glad to be home:)
46 posted on 01/25/2002 1:08:45 PM PST by Tiger28
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To: LoneGreenEyeshade
I was born in Passaic, the Dundee section, spent a few years in Garfield and grew up in Hasbrouck Heights. I have fond memories of my youth and formative years there.

In my early teens I rode my bike all over the place if I wanted to get anywhere, a 10 mile jaunt was nothing. In my high school years it was not unusual for me to cut some classes toward the end of the school year and bus over to Times Square for an afternoon of exploration.

It was almost fifty years ago when I left to join the Navy. I went home on leave from time to time, I even stayed for a couple of years between hitches once. Now I seldom venture back, except once every five years or so to visit family for a holiday, or for a funeral.

Who was it said ,"You can't go home again"?, Thomas Wolfe? Well, you can't. The New Jersey of my youth is long gone, it just doesn't exist anymore, it's only a warm memory. Anybody who would let his kid do the things I did as a boy needs his head examined, the world has changed too much.

When I go up there now I'm usually overcome with sadness, or maybe melancholia would be a better word, because things have changed so much. Nowadays I refer to New Jersey as the place I escaped from, almost fifty years ago.

It's sad.

47 posted on 01/25/2002 1:09:14 PM PST by oldsalt
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To: discostu
I have heard them called murder burgers, belly burners (or bombers), sliders and rat burgers. The shakes (which are quite good) were called "s_it shakes." I used to go to the one in Orange and the women who worked there (some of whom had been there for decades) would get very agitated when we asked for "rat burgers." White Castle restaurants were decorated with signs that read, "French Fries: Stored Sunshine" and "Hamburgers for Breakfast, Why Not? "Also, there was an urban legend that during WWII there was a shortage of beef and White Caste made their burgers with kangaroo meat.
48 posted on 01/25/2002 1:09:44 PM PST by Atticus
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To: Ziva;~roz~;zappa188;wheels;watchwoman;Valerian;TopQuark;TightSqueeze;sonrise57;rite on;Pitviper...
To my Jersey friends.
49 posted on 01/25/2002 1:09:50 PM PST by LoneGreenEyeshade
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To: oldsalt
The New Jersey of my youth is long gone

I grew up in a "Town" where I could hang out with my friends in the bowling alley or at the drugstore and my Mom never needed to worry. We knew our neighbors. The last place I lived in NJ I could not tell you the name of the person who lived next door. Like ships passing in the night, no one trusts anyone and everyone is too busy fighting traffic to have much energy left over for their neighbors. I used to bake cookies or a cake for a newcomer on the block. Nowadays, they would refuse to take it!

NJ is not the only victim. It's happening too many places. I have found some of the hometown friendliness here in Tacoma, where I plan to stay.

God bless you,

LOL,LGE

50 posted on 01/25/2002 1:15:10 PM PST by LoneGreenEyeshade
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To: Atticus
I remember hearing about teh kangaroo meat rumor, nothing has ever been proven (IMHO how the hell do you get enough kangaroo meat to matter up to America in WWII).

I love the signs at WCs. A lot of people don't realize how important WC was to the evolution of the American pallet. Hamburgers weren't considered civilized food before WC, sandwiches as a whole were kind of looked down on. Then the WC founder came up with this brilliant idea: the SHINY white store, and those goofball ads showing upper class people enjoying the food. Basically he banished the the grungy construction worker image. WC is the thing most responsible for every fastfood joint on the planet, and the fact that burgers are now considered food anywhere in the country (oh sure some people make "gourmet burgers" but it's still a burger).

And they're still gross in a highly addictive way all these years later. Shear brilliance.

51 posted on 01/25/2002 1:16:46 PM PST by discostu
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To: Teacup
It took me a few minuets to realize she was being friendly

And when I tell my new friends here how unusual the friendliness here is, they look at me like I'm nuts!!! It's a natural state of mind here.

LOL,LGE

52 posted on 01/25/2002 1:17:43 PM PST by LoneGreenEyeshade
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To: Teacup
It took me a few minuets to realize she was being friendly

And when I tell my new friends here how unusual the friendliness here is, they look at me like I'm nuts!!! It's a natural state of mind here.

LOL,LGE

53 posted on 01/25/2002 1:20:00 PM PST by LoneGreenEyeshade
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To: Teacup
It took me a few minuets to realize she was being friendly

And when I tell my new friends here how unusual the friendliness here is, they look at me like I'm nuts!!! It's a natural state of mind here.

LOL,LGE

54 posted on 01/25/2002 1:20:32 PM PST by LoneGreenEyeshade
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To: LoneGreenEyeshade
You remember the stores Korvette's, Rickel's, Channel, Bamburger's and Orbach's. .

In my home town of Flemington, we had Channel, which was replaced by Rickel's. Eventually, Rickel's went out of business as well.

Anyone remember Jamesway department stores? At Jamesway, we care about you!

55 posted on 01/25/2002 1:26:07 PM PST by jiggity
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To: LoneGreenEyeshade
Basic Rules For Driving In New Jersey...,

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A real New Jersey driver never uses them.
2. Under no circumstances should you leave a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, or the space will be filled in by somebody else putting you in an even more dangerous situation.
3. Crossing two or more lanes in a single lane-change is considered going with the flow.
4. The faster you drive through a red light, the smaller the chance you have of getting hit.
5. Never, ever come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will inevitably result in you being rear ended. If you want your insurance company to pay for a new rear bumper, come to a complete stop at all stop signs.
6. A right lane construction closure is just a game to see how many people can cut in line by passing you on the right as you sit in the left lane waiting for the same jerks to squeeze their way back in before hitting the orange construction barrels.
7. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork. New Jersey is a no-fault insurance state and the other guy doesn't have anything to lose.
8. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a nice, relaxing foot massage as the brake pedal pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to stretch your legs.
9. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to scare people entering the highway.
10. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.
11. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a New Jersey driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.
12. Please remember that there is no such thing as a shortcut during rush-hour traffic in New Jersey.
13. Always slow down and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire.
14. Learn to swerve abruptly. New Jersey is the home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the State Highway Department, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them on their toes.
15. It is traditional in New Jersey to honk your horn at cars that don't move the instant the light changes.
16. Never take a green light at face value. Always look right and left before proceeding.
17. Remember that the goal of every New Jersey driver is to get there first, by whatever means necessary.
18. Real New Jersey women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at seventy-five miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
19. Real New Jersey men drivers can remove their girlfriend's panties and bra at seventy-five miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.
20. In the New Jersey area 'flipping someone the bird' is considered a polite New Jersey salute. This gesture should always be returned.

56 posted on 01/25/2002 1:26:13 PM PST by Hoboken
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To: Hoboken
Real New Jersey women drivers can put on pantyhose and apply eye makeup at seventy-five miles per hour or in bumper-to-bumper traffic.

This and all the rest are PERFECT. Thanks for the laugh. :~)

LOL,LGE

57 posted on 01/25/2002 1:30:54 PM PST by LoneGreenEyeshade
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To: Hoboken
Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as suggestions and are apparently not enforceable in New Jersey during rush hour.

More likely:
Speed limits are wishful thinking, given only as a tease, and are never attainable during rush hour.

LOL,LGE

58 posted on 01/25/2002 1:33:59 PM PST by LoneGreenEyeshade
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To: jiggity
Here's a real test in that you are from Flemington. Do you remember ROBERT HALL.... We're doing our Christmas shopping, at Robert Hall this year.....
59 posted on 01/25/2002 1:37:40 PM PST by LoneGreenEyeshade
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To: Mudboy Slim
Just wanted to say HI. Having a little diversion here today...while waiting and waiting and waiting....

LOL,LGE

60 posted on 01/25/2002 1:39:38 PM PST by LoneGreenEyeshade
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