Posted on 01/15/2002 5:48:31 PM PST by parsifal
Our internet connections are very quirky here in Arkansas. I found these sitting in my inbox.
From: Ken @ Enron
To: Bob @ AA- New York
Dear Bob.
How are you? Fine I hope. I think I got it now. "Debits" are pluses and "credits" are minuses. When you put them together, they wipe each other out. I still don't understand why "sales" are "credits." If "sales" are credits, then that makes them "minuses." But I thought sales were a good thing? How about "sales" for "cash"? Are they "credits" too? If so, how can that be? Cash and credit are not the same are they?
Yours, Ken.
From: Bob @AA- New York
To: Ken@enron
Dear Ken,
I am fine. Thank you. "Debits" are pluses only on one part of the balance sheet, the top part. On the bottom part of the balance sheet, (the Liabilities, Equity, and Income part), they are minuses. On the bottom part, "credits" make things bigger. Cash is a "debit" It is not the same thing as a "credit.", although the Cash Account can be "debited" or "credited" .
Sincerely, Bob.
Blind copy - Billing Dept.: Bill Enron $50,000 - Consulting.
From: Ken @ Enron
To: Bob@ AA-New York
Dear Bob,
How are you? Fine I hope. We have credited the Cash Account for our Sales, so it completely off the balance sheet now. The bottom part, that is. Are partnerships "debits" or "credits"? In the meeting you said they were assets that could become liabilities. Our treasurer is confused. I am not doing too good myself.
Yours, Ken
From Bob@AA-New York
To: Ken@Enron
Dear Ken,
I am fine. Thank you. I think what we have here is a failure to communicate. You need to "credit" your Sales Account for any cash. "Debit" the Cash Account, unless it is a sale on credit. Then, you "debit" Accounts Receivable which is an asset. If you don't, the SEC will get involved. Partnerships are neither "debits" or "credits". They all have their very own balance sheet. Remember, "debit" the potential losses.
Sincerely, Bob.
Blind Copy Billing Dept.: Bill Enron $100,000 - Consulting
From: Ken @ Enron
To: Bob @ AA-New York
Dear Bob.
How are you? Fine I hope. Do we have to sell the losses? Can I just give them to some of the executives here for Christmas bonuses? The secretary will not get involved. It is not her job. All she does is answer the phone and schedule meetings for me. We have set up brand new balance sheets for all the little partnerships like you said. Debiting our losses to Accounts Receivable made our Sales Account get bigger too. Our stock really shot up. By the way, what exactly is broad band?
Yours, Ken.
From Bob@AA-New York
To: AA- Houston
Houston,
We have a problem.
Bob.
One potential client would be Calif. Gov. Greyout Davis. Preparing for the 2002 campaign, Davis will propose buying Broadband capacity from Enron, for future payment by taxpayers.
Give everybody in Calif. free high-speed internet. Commit to pay Enron waaaay over market prices. Pay later. It worked for Enron and Davis for natural gas. Why not broadband?
And what was coming out was little strips of microfiche. LOL. (PS: Do you sense a Fawn Hill in this scenario??) parsy.
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LoanPalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LoanPalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)
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