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Aborting Innocent, Defenseless Babies: FATHERS OBJECT !!!
Washington Times ^ | Phillip Gold

Posted on 12/14/2001 4:53:43 PM PST by Dr. Octagon

As I write these words, a friend of mine is out on the highway, counting down the hours to the death of his unborn child. Before leaving, he wrote his (now former?) girlfriend a check for half the price of the procedure. He said it made him nauseous.

Long years ago, having nowhere to drive (or perhaps the car was in the shop), I did my own countdown in an Eames chair with a bottle of scotch. I do not recall writing a check, or offering, or being asked. The nausea occasionally returns.

My friend is a young man, the kind who almost makes you believe the X in GenX can also stand for excellence. Intelligent, well-educated, thoughtful, college football player/philosophy major, with a limitless future in a field so high-tech I can't begin to understand what he's talking about.

I understood well enough, however, when he told me about his on-again, off-again girlfriend, brilliant and beautiful and volatile in the harsh, addictive way that brilliant, beautiful young women often are.

She had gotten pregnant on a night when off changed, somewhat unexpectedly, back to on. He does not doubt that he loves her, or she him.

I asked him if this was the first time he had faced this kind of situation. He answered, yes. Then welcome to reality. Before it's over, you're going to learn a lot about who and what you are.

We talked. Baby Boomer wisdom available here. Been there, done that, no charge. Of course, I didn't tell him anything that a few million other guys couldn't have. Hannah Arendt, the great political philosopher, once wondered how many killers she and the rest of us passed on the street every day, the men who had fought our three mid-century wars, walking by with their horrors and their nausea inside.

Perhaps, today, the same question might be asked in re the millions of fathers of the trashed-before-birth.

My young friend said he wanted the baby, and he was willing to marry. But there were problems between them, numerous and real. I told him, yes, but there are three of you now. Whatever happens . . . forever, three. I told him to spend time with her, talk with her, hold her lots, listen to what she said and what she didn't say.

I suggested that, if they could get to it, they might play a game. Pretend the decision to keep the child has been made. Start planning your futures, married or not. The normal stuff that folks with children face, and how to balance it all.

They never quite got there. Women come equipped these days with a slick and deadly defensive vocabulary, carefully formatted to avoid certain kinds of issues. Where do they get it from, the words? From a few thousand talk shows and magazines, of course. From the psychobabblers and the feminista, from the government and the universities, from the ads and the pulpits, and from every other branch and unit of a big-bucks industry dedicated to telling them what to think and feel and do and how to justify whatever needs to be justified at the moment and, if they're lucky, for all the years and ghosts to follow.

Anger also works. I saw my friend the day before he left (a necessary and legitimate trip). I asked him if he had done everything he could to persuade her not to opt for the procedure. He said he had. Then I asked him about the little man standing off in one dim corner of his mind, the little guy watching with his arms folded and a hideous smirk on his face.

The little guy with the little voice that said, "You're off the hook." My young friend wiped his eyes and I saw no reason to mention that, for reasons now obscure, I gave my own little guy the name of Buster.

And Buster doth make cowards of us all.

You told me everything that would happen, my young friend said before he took off. Sure did, right up to and including, "Whatever your feelings, can a man of honor go back to a woman who killed his child?"

Another friend, a woman my age, likes to point out that in the years before the procedure became legal-on-demand, the procedure's advocates argued far more than Woman's Body, Woman's Right.

The procedure, plus all the dandy new contraceptives, would guarantee that every child would be a wanted child. Illegitimacy would all but vanish. Divorce, child and spousal abuse, single parenthood, poverty ditto, more or less. We could contracept and procedure our way to paradise.

Didn't quite happen that way. Anybody willing to be honest about why?


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Front Page News
KEYWORDS: abortionlist; catholiclist; christianlist; fatherhood; michaeldobbs
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To: MHGinTN
Very powerful essay. Thanks for the ping. And yet I can't help but think that perhaps one solution to the problem is for men to keep their zippers zipped before marriage. And more women saying NO to sex before marriage. Hearts and minds must be changed before the abortion laws can be changed. I raised to believe that all sexual activity outside of a marital relationship would always bring heartache and grief. We reap what we sow.
41 posted on 12/14/2001 5:46:38 PM PST by Utah Girl
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To: BunnySlippers
Bunny: this is an old story. However, it is a very current issue; none the more so.
42 posted on 12/14/2001 5:46:54 PM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: BunnySlippers
Bunny: this is an old story. However, it is a very current issue; none the more so.
43 posted on 12/14/2001 5:46:55 PM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: Dr. Octagon
Before leaving, he wrote his (now former?) girlfriend a check for half the price of the procedure. He said it made him nauseous.

If he was feeling nauseous, maybe he should have considered not paying for half the cost of the abortion. He hardly sounds like an innocent to me.

44 posted on 12/14/2001 5:47:14 PM PST by independentmind
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To: Utah Girl
But two wrongs...
45 posted on 12/14/2001 5:47:44 PM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: Hodar;Dr.Octagon;The Right Stuff
Men should be able to legally opt out of all responsibilities of parenthood if they do it before the birth of the child.  There should be legislation enacted to make that the law of the land.

46 posted on 12/14/2001 5:48:15 PM PST by Texas Gal
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To: MHGinTN
Thanks for the ping, Marvin.
47 posted on 12/14/2001 5:48:33 PM PST by JMJ333
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To: Dr. Octagon
Bunny: this is an old story. However, it is a very current issue; none the more so.

No link? Are you saying it was at one time from the Washington Times? About when?

48 posted on 12/14/2001 5:49:41 PM PST by BunnySlippers
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To: independentmind
Echo that. When more men feel they have the right to stop it, more men will effort to do so.

Even more importantly, though, are the men who do want to stop it, and are legally barred from doing so...

49 posted on 12/14/2001 5:49:47 PM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: Dr. Octagon
Two wrongs do not make a right. I made up my mind long ago that if I found myself pregnant outside of wedlock and marriage was not possible, I'd give the baby up for adoption. There is noooo way I'd ever abort. That is compounding the problem.
50 posted on 12/14/2001 5:50:25 PM PST by Utah Girl
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To: BunnySlippers
1999? Yes, Washington Times.
51 posted on 12/14/2001 5:50:43 PM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: MHGinTN
BTTT
52 posted on 12/14/2001 5:53:08 PM PST by ChaseR
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To: Texas Gal
Interesting. The "Choice For Men" argument. But the right to be a father matters more, to be legally empowered to prevent the murder of your own daughters and sons in that period when they cannot speak for their own right-to-life: between conception and birth...
53 posted on 12/14/2001 5:53:44 PM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: Dr. Octagon
Sorry, I was going to say one more thing. I do think that the adoption option should be more visibly out there. I'm Mormon, and the church is working very hard through LDS Social Services to promote adoption for those girls/women who find themselves pregnant outside of marriage. They have some excellent presentations about adoption, how abortion should never be the solution. And I've noticed that public service ads are popping up here locally. A young girl is shown graduating from high school. She is thinking about her child, and at the end takes off her cap, and there is a picture of her baby taped to the inside of the hat. We need to teach young men and women that if they find themselves in this position to first: get married if at all possible. If not, think of the baby. Give that child a chance to live in a loving home with two parents.
54 posted on 12/14/2001 5:53:49 PM PST by Utah Girl
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To: Dr. Octagon
I hate whining parties. I've played sperm roulette myself and not lost. Looking back I wouldn't do it again. Whining about losing doesn't help. Face it, abstinence would've been a better choice, or get married younger; honestly look for the right woman instead of following the little man in your pants around to whatever Lewinsky was gonna Bobbitt ya...
55 posted on 12/14/2001 5:53:59 PM PST by WriteOn
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To: BunnySlippers
8-23-99
56 posted on 12/14/2001 5:56:21 PM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: Dr. Octagon
Let's see. He wants the baby, but pays for half of the "procedure". Spare me, please.

I think I'm going to throw up.

57 posted on 12/14/2001 5:56:32 PM PST by joathome
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To: FF578
Presidents cannot outlaw anything. That is up to congress. You have very little knowledge of American government if you think the President can outlaw anything.

She's been told this countless times.

I think Tabitha is more anti-Bush than she's anti-abortion.

58 posted on 12/14/2001 5:59:37 PM PST by CharacterCounts
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To: joathome
The point lies entirely elsewhere...
59 posted on 12/14/2001 6:01:07 PM PST by Dr. Octagon
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To: Dr. Octagon
Ironically, it is the pro-abort men who don't care. Pro-life men do care...and who gets better press?

The pro-abortionists depend on implicating other people in their crimes. It's the mechanism they use...................it's what drives the incessant propagandizing in the schools, the workplace, everywhere..........

They know what they do is evil........and the more people they can drag into their web and silence through shame, the better off they think they are in their own minds.

60 posted on 12/14/2001 6:01:22 PM PST by He Rides A White Horse
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