If you die tomorrow, what does your family need to know today? (Lawyer Needs Freeper Help)

JD86 | 12/06/01 | JD86

[JD86]

If you die tomorrow, what does your family need to know today? (Lawyer Needs Freeper Help)

I'm an attorney who helps clients with estate planning and other money matters, but I won't claim that I "know it all". I need Freeper advice.

I once had an elderly client who always told his family "When I die, everything you need is in the manila folder". When he died, we searched high and low but we never did find that folder. As a result, it took years to settle his estate.

That shouldn't happen. I am putting together a booklet for my clients - a checklist of sorts - to help them keep track of important family information.

I'm asking for your suggestions. What would you include in such a checklist?

First - the practical. Doctor's name, where's the will, your desires regarding any minor children ... what else?

Second - the emotional. Would you tell your children you are proud of them? To stop smoking? Dump their lousy mate? What else?

Is there anything you would change about what your parents did? Have you made a checklist yet? If so, what's on it?

Also, if you are incapacitated but don't die, what then?

I have a client who has all her medications listed and taped to the inside of her kitchen cabinet and all her family knows where to find it. Do you have any other ideas like that?

Thanks to all in advance for your suggestions. Please post or send me FreeperMail.

[LikeLight]

JD & Avogado, thanks for both of your comments. Like I said, I just became fearful that people could get themselves into real trouble with some of this stuff. The original concept is excellent and I apologize if my comments appeared too hard on JD.

[VA Advogado]

You are right about the stepup in value vis a vis the new tax laws. That little puppy right there could cost your heirs big money and it needs to be changed soon.REAL SOON!

I was quoting someone else (but its nice to read someone finally saying I'm right!). The question part was mine. I wasn't sure if 1 - they did away with cap gains on homes and 2 - if they did, if that freebie only applies to your primary residence.

[ZDaphne]

Waiting for that joke...

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

Here is the latest link from the VA regarding burial benefits. Looks like they are adding more room.
There are links to forms and a toll free number to call for info.
VA Burial and Memorial benefits

[zip]

What you are doing on this post "goes without saying". I appreciate the ideas and am intelligent enough to understand these are guidelines or overviews and that professionals need to complete the paperwork. I don't understand why the nit pickers come out to play every time we attempt to assist others.

[Boatlawyer]

Dear JD- Not sure whether this is beyond the scope of your inquiry, but you may want to include a section addressing long-term illness issues, such as powers of attorney for health care decisions, (there is a special form in FLorida for this) and the extent of health insurance. Also, depending on your jurisdiction, many assets can legitimately pass outside of probate by way of rights of survivorship. Good luck in organizing this material!

[JD86]

Good point about the simultaneous death situation. I have seen entire families wiped out in a car accident. That is why it is good to think ahead for alternatives...especially when your first choice as a beneficary usually travels with you.

[VA Advogado]

You know those VA grave yards. People are dying to get in.

[Dec31,1999]

I'm a single parent

First of all, there is no such thing yet, but it IS being worked on, trust me.

[JD86]

I for one would love to have any advice you want to share about caring for loved ones who are incapicated in some way. My parents are 81 and 82 and although they still live at home, they are slowing down alot and I am taking up the slack. Helping with medications, etc. Any advice you want to share, I would love to hear. Thanks.

[LarryLied]

I have been loathe to reveal my legal identity on this forum in the past, just because it leads to so much abuse

Note to self: File this screen name under "LAWYER"

Hey, seriously...lawyers are held in great regard on Free Republic. Barbara Olson and Mark Levin have made comments here. Probably others too. It all depands what you say and what laws you think good. Bashing has nothing to do with your profession.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

"You know those VA grave yards. People are dying to get in."

LOL!!!!

[JD86]

I didn't mean CAN they open the safe....I meant do they know where the combination is? You would be surprised how many people don't think of that. That's why we are trying to get this list together....and I really appreciate your input. Thanks...:) (My son really would shoot it open if he didn't have the combination or the key.)

[deadhead]

Thanks for the link!

[JD86]

That's fantastic! Thanks for sharing. Everytime my mother is in a grouchy mood I get her to smile by telling her I am going to put on her tombstone
"I told you I was sick!"

First she yells, then she laughs.

[nicmarlo]

. . .sued the family, as a friend of the something

The legal term escapes me just now, too; is it possibly "friend of the court?" (estate planning is not what I do/help with (I assit mostly in insurance litigation defense of insureds).

[KineticKitty]

Wow this thread is getting long, most everything that I can think of has been mentioned. If I am repeating anything, just ignore me, because like I said, this thread is getting rather long. :)

~ If you cannot afford a bank safe deposit box. I've heard the freezer is also a great place to keep your important documents (besides a really good fire proof box or safe) Because if your house goes up in flames, "sapposably" it's one of the last things to really go.

~Any Social Security Information, for survivor benefits. The same goes for Military benefits, Retirements for Spouse Or Survivor Benefits.

~ And for the really emotional side, I've left a checklist to help out in my passing, IE, to contact family and friends (and how), things that will be needed, like 15 copies of the death cert. etc.) even to making sure that my spouse eats and sleeps thru (what I would think) would be a hard time.

We have some bookstore bought lists that help in these times, but some of them tend to seem so dry, and almost un-emotional, thats why we have come up with one of our own, to help in what we have no doubt will be a very hard time. >And that one suggestion about the Computer codes and such, thats a good one!<

[JD86]

Okay you two, get back on topic....:)

[JD86]

Thanks for the great resource. I was with clients tonight that were concerned about who would take care of their pets. It is an important question for many people.

[LarryLied]

I don't understand why the nit pickers come out to play every time we attempt to assist others.

Experience. When lawyers "assist others", they hurt others. Very often all out of proportian to the tort inflicted. People see this. I live in Jupiter Florida. I see the parade of yachts. And I am not even where the big bucks trail lawyers have their lairs. They are in Manaplan and Steward's Point.