Vanity: Worst Baby Names

11/26/01

[Phantom Lord]

Alright, this is a total vanity. I didn't post it under "Breaking News" so relax.

My mother and aunts have been pestering my wife and I about when we are going to have children. Lately, we have taken to coming up with the worst possible names for babies and telling them we are considering names first. Well, they get real upset with some of them and even get angry with us for even considering them.

My mother in law is coming down for Christmas and it is inevitable that when she, my mother, and my aunts get together they will gang up on us about having kids. So, what I need from my fellow FReepers is a good list of really bad baby names to suggest to them as names we are considering. You help and creativity is greatly appreciated.

Oh, the last name is Terwilliger if that helps at all.

[AppyPappy]

That reminds me. Add Cooter to the list.

[starxmtn]

I saw this one in a local newspaper obit...Organtra Trichell (caucasian). Oh by the way....female

[gundog]

An ex-girlfriend of mine thought that "Shatner", as in William, would be a cool name for a boy. Of course, if you home school, you'll have to give hime swirlies and wedgies yourself.

[Aristophanes]

Oh, and please avoid the stereotypical "black names." They wouldnt believe us for a minute if we started suggesting names like Shaneequa (sp?) and others like it.

You mean like "Equoteece" and "Donbrionna Equishavanna"? (Yes, I know of a mother who actually did that to her two daughters.) It was okay, though. I think their last name was "Washington", so they went really well together. /sarcasm

[contessa machiaveli]

one of the best NFL names is anfrony. maybe his mom didn't have her upper front teeth.

[1 FELLOW FREEPER]

Mortimer Defendthaler

[Tony in Hawaii]

Parsifal?

[1 FELLOW FREEPER]

Hymie Rastus Fink

[Aristophanes]

The best Saint name I have come up with is Polycarp!

HEY! No fair! I was gonna use that for my fifth child. ;^)

Seriously, I named my third son "Campion" after St. Edmund Campion. I'm thinking of naming the fifth kid (when and if that happy occasion occurs) "Fisher" after St. John Fisher.

Those of you who dislike converting last names into first names, may fire when ready.

[Tony in Hawaii]

Paxton is a company that makes superchargers, or "blowers" in hot rod parlance.

[geege]

Well she liked "Noel" first because I was born a week before XMAS... then she changed it to "Jeannine" after some soap opera charactor...Sis was a month early and named after the Andrea Doria....If she was born around XMAS she probebly would have been a "Yule"....I'll have to ask my mother:^)

[Aristophanes]

You might not have seen the proposed 2002 NFL regs, which plainly state that from now on, all new NFL defensive backs MUST be named "Dante".

[Aristophanes]

Or maybe "Cooter."

[Phantom Lord]

Yes, I know about Paxton blowers. But I can assure you, neither my cousin Jennifer or her husband Tom know that. Of maybe the name is Paxon. I don't know. I just know I do not like it at all but the rest of the family seem to think it is the greatest name ever. And they arent doing it to be nice either. Everyone is in NC and the mother and father to be are in California. So they arent just talking nice because they are around.

[CLaymoreminded]

Had a kid in High school named Douglass Dick. Kids can be so cruel. And when they read the roll last name first, the inevitable happened - several times. His therapy is going well though.

[Alabama_Wild_Man]

There was an older Lady, in my home town, with the name of:

....Ima June Bugg - -- - no lie !! !! !!

I used to work with a fellow named:
George George, Jr. - -- - )poor guy(

[Phantom Lord]

Below is a title link on Drudge...

NEW YORK mag: The Emperor Miramaximus -- The real Harvey Weinstein...

How about the name Miramaximus!

[geege]

LOLOL.....That is a horrible name!!!!!!!

[Phantom Lord]

I graduated High School with a William Williams and a Robert Roberts.

[Phantom Lord]

My wife called about something and I told her that I posted the "baby name" thread on FR. Her reply... "That's not breaking news!"

Ha! And she doesnt even lurk!