Chelsea's Big Adventure (Chelsea Clinton 9-11 Story)

Laissez Faire City Times ^ | November 26, 2001 | Chelsea Clinton (Typing by P.J. Gladnick)

[kitkat]

Funny! VERY funny!

[PJ-Comix]

? Or are you watsonfellow channeling Chelsea.

No. Watsonfellow is busy channeling Evelyn Waugh.

[IronJack]

It was then that the full dimension of this tragedy struck home. The new Doc Martens I had bought that afternoon had dust and ashes and bloody goo all over them and the finish was just RUINED!! I had the chauffeur take me back to I Magnin's but they were CLOSED!! I suppose it was because of that airplane thing but for cripes' sake, that was clear down at the Trade Center, duh! So here I am, due to jet off to England in the next couple of days, the limo fridge is out of Tab, and my shoes are a total MESS!!! I wanted to just crawl in a hole and die! But I was inspired by my memories of the courage Daddy showed during the impeachments, the disbarments, and all the other court battles he'd been drug into over the years. So I boldly whipped out my hankie and WIPED MY OWN SHOES OFF!!! It was exhilirating, a new sense of freedom. I knew that day that I would be all right, that America would get through its tragedy too.

By the way, for those who would like to contribute something to ease this suffering, you can send money to

Chelsea's Shoe Fund
100 Overprivileged Ave.
Hightone Apts. Suite 666
New York, NY

[MistyCA]

The Clintons....all of them....will never be anything more than a good cause to be ill! Did you hear Chris Matthews put down Hillary? I think I will run out and buy his book. Someone who is so willing to tell it like it is where the Clinton's are concerned, deserves my support! What he said about her was that she has no chance at the Presidency because Americans need someone who loves America! He said that Hitlery said, "I pledge allegiance to the America we can be!" What buffalo breath! He said that she has done nothing since 9-11 but sulk because she can't stand to see the American people love this country! Matthews deserves not only an "A" for insight, but a "A+" for saying it!!!

[Tawiskaro]

Nicely done. Heh, heh.

[hchutch]

LOL!! The King of All Media could not have done any better! ;-)

[NYCVirago]

Great, great stuff, PJ. You've outdone yourself this time!

[backhoe]

I like your satire, PJ- one thing I have learned about tinhorn totalitarians, wanna-be cheapjack Mussolini's, and most clinton-worshippers is

They cannot stand being laughed at!

I tried to find that old pre-1996 parody song from Rush's show, "Try to remember...." ( AKA "My brain's in a blender; it's Jello!" )-- it's gone! Here's another, however, that's not bad:

Roxanne's FABULOUS FEMALES Presents: "News Stories We'd Like ...
... on Vince Foster's alledged suicide, she responded, "I can't remember, my brain's
in a blender, it's Jello, but there are things larger than ourselves and I ...

[PJ-Comix]

I wonder how long it will be before the tabloids reveal that Chelsea was nowhere near the Twin Towers on 9-11. BTW, read her Talk Magazine article. In it she claims to have no real memory of where she went downtown or what buildings she saw. She claims that OTHERS told her that she must have been within 12 blocks of the WTC. Then later, when she met her two friends BACK at the apartment and they went UPTOWN, suddenly Chelsea has a clear memory of what she was doing. How VERY convenient.

Oh, and if you cast aspersions on the veracity of the Chelsea version that I typed up, it is no less credible than the Talk Magazine version or the ORIGINAL jogging to Battery Park and drinking coffee in Starbucks version.

[BunnySlippers]

Very entertaining ... and far more believable than Chelsea's first version.

[PJ-Comix]

If anybody wants to reprint this on their website or anywhere else, they can do so as long as they give credit to the original source: the Laissez Faire City Times. I think I will be forwarding this to the Oxford University student newspaper. Hee! Hee!

[OldFriend]

All this right wing posturing by Matthews is for the express purpose of getting conservatives to buy his book. Don't be fooled. We know all too well just where his political persuasions lie.....left left left ever leftward.

[Robert Lomax]

Did anyone count how many times she said mentioned herself? The Clintons and Web's daughter are the most self-indulgent people!!!!!!!

[Fiddlstix]

LOL

[exmoor]

This could be a book deal..................

[spectre]

Thanks for the ping.

"I noticed a fat woman on her knees"...

It wasn't your Mommy, Chelsea dearest, she has never been on her knees, not even for your Daddy.

sw

[csvset]

PJ, Chelsea's NYC 9/11 adventures could be the subject of your comix strips.

[summer]

Thanks for the flag on this! :)

[PJ-Comix]

Thursday night Freeper Radio FYI.