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Cat Bathing As A Martial Art
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Posted on 11/12/2001 2:10:19 PM PST by SAMWolf

Some people say cats never have to be bathed. They say cats lick themselves clean. They say cats have a special enzyme of some sort in their saliva that works like new, improved Wisk -- dislodging the dirt where it hides and whisking it away.

I've spent most of my life believing this folklore. Like most blind believers, I've been able to discount all the facts to the contrary, the kitty odors that lurk in the corners of the garage and dirt smudges that cling to the throw rug by the fireplace.

The time comes, however, when a man must face reality: when he must look squarely in the face of massive public sentiment to the contrary and announce: "This cat smells like a port-a-potty on a hot day in Juarez."

When that day arrives at your house, as it has in mine, I have some advice you might consider as you place your feline friend under your arm and head for the bathtub:

In a few days the cat will relax enough to be removed from your leg. He will usually have nothing to say for about three weeks and will spend a lot of time sitting with his back to you. He might even become psychoceramic and develop the fixed stare of a plaster figurine.

You will be tempted to assume he is angry. This isn't usually the case. As a rule he is simply plotting ways to get through your defenses and injure you for life the next time you decide to give him a bath.

But at least now he smells a lot better.


TOPICS: News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: catbathing; cats; humor; martialart
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To: Skooz
You should NOT bathe cats.....you are erasing a very important oil they have on their coats...they will get sick often....
41 posted on 11/12/2001 2:59:49 PM PST by Sungirl
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To: SAMWolf
I HATE cats. I truly do.
42 posted on 11/12/2001 3:00:33 PM PST by TADSLOS
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To: CheneyChick
LOL!
43 posted on 11/12/2001 3:02:04 PM PST by hole_n_one
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To: Burlem
Ok, I figured it out, and I was about to post your picture for you, but I think you've given the wrong URL. An eagle picture shows up, which reads: "Operation restore Warrior Spirit." ???
44 posted on 11/12/2001 3:03:19 PM PST by Fraulein
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To: LibKill
Stop....You're killing me.....: -)
45 posted on 11/12/2001 3:03:30 PM PST by Seattle-ite Nottagay
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To: Burlem
To post a pic, you need this:

[img src="http://www.geoffmetcalf.com/images/orwscs.jpg"], but replace the [ ]'s with some < >'s.

Btw, that image url you posted is of an eagle and the world trade towers.

46 posted on 11/12/2001 3:07:17 PM PST by Semper911
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To: SAMWolf
I would suggest a pressure washer or steam cleaner, then you can do it at a distance.
47 posted on 11/12/2001 3:08:41 PM PST by Busywhiskers
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To: SAMWolf


48 posted on 11/12/2001 3:10:45 PM PST by EugeneConservative
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To: Burlem

This is what I got when I loaded the paicture at the link you provided. I don't think it's a cat, though.

49 posted on 11/12/2001 3:11:39 PM PST by Skooz
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A freshly washed cat vows revenge upon humankind.

50 posted on 11/12/2001 3:13:16 PM PST by LibKill
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To: Sungirl
Well, I had to bathe Skooz a lot because he used to get in so many fights with other tomcats. I always had to put some medicine or another on his injuries. To do so, I had to bathe the little heathen fuzzball first.

Guido was always getting into something--motor oil, grease, and one particularly ugly episode with transmission fluid. THAT took weeks to get out.

51 posted on 11/12/2001 3:16:47 PM PST by Skooz
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To: anniegetyourgun

52 posted on 11/12/2001 3:18:50 PM PST by SAMWolf
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To: LibKill
LOL!
53 posted on 11/12/2001 3:19:28 PM PST by Fraulein
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To: Sungirl
Drown them? Did I say that? Don't remember saying that. You put them in until the kittys nose just sticks out of the water. Works great and fast, which is GOOD for the cat.
54 posted on 11/12/2001 3:20:10 PM PST by glasseye
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To: LibKill

Mine is uglier than yours!

55 posted on 11/12/2001 3:23:12 PM PST by SAMWolf
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To: SAMWolf
Yep that's ugly alright. I'm not even sure it qualifies as a cat. :)
56 posted on 11/12/2001 3:25:38 PM PST by LibKill
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To: SAMWolf

57 posted on 11/12/2001 3:27:30 PM PST by CheneyChick
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To: SAMWolf
That's not an ugly kitty--that cat is gorgeous! (Just all wet & pissed off)
58 posted on 11/12/2001 3:28:42 PM PST by hellinahandcart
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To: glasseye
WHAT A HORRIFYING TRAUMATIC THING TO PUT A CAT THROUGH!! WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT WITH A BABY???
59 posted on 11/12/2001 3:28:55 PM PST by Sungirl
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To: Sungirl
Never knew fleas to be a problem with babys.....unless you ment kittens...:-)
60 posted on 11/12/2001 3:31:14 PM PST by glasseye
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