HUMOR BREAK: How to Simulate shipboard life at Home- Must Read

VA-145 web site ^ | 11/02/2001 | unknown

[connectthedots]

For the U.S. Navy veterans and those who want to know what life aboard a Navy ship would be like, Push this puppy

[RandallFlagg]

Also:
Allow yourself ONE pastime that you can only do for ONE hour each week, insuring that you won't get any better at it.
For that Amphib carrier sailor in us all, pay a plumber to rig about 3000 of your neighbor's sewage systems to yours and wait for someone's kid to attempt flushing his sister's jacket.
Wait for public service to shut off your electricity...THEN pay it.
Break off ALL of your hot water taps.
Break off ALL of your cold water taps.
See how shiny you can make your floors with the cheapest wax you can find. When completed, strip all your floors and start over again. (Placing shoes on your dog and going to bed after laying a fresh coat of wax adds to the realism)

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

HUMOR PING

[12B]

Uh, I don't get it.

Army guy

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

"...thanks so much"

Your Welcome, did you click on the link?

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

HUMOR PING

[Cuttnhorse]

Just checked it out...my name wasn't on the crew list.

[Cuttnhorse]

Just checked it out...my name wasn't on the crew list.

[RandallFlagg]

I remember once we (Deck Department) had made a variation of "The Twelve Days Of Christmas".
On the first day of WestPac my captain gave to me, (I wish I remembered it!)

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

HUMOR PING

PS Ladies watch out for the drunken sailors, LOL

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

"On the first day of WestPac my captain gave to me"

12 Days of Extra Duty? LOL

[soxfan]

Go to sleep for exactly one hour, then have some kid shine a flashlight in your face. Wake up, eat a plate of ravioli right out of the can. Connect two bricks with a piece of "rope" (six-thread for you nautical types), place around your neck, then at exactly 11:45 p.m., go outside on your porch and stand in a thunderstorm for exactly four hours. Repeat continuously for 6 months at a time.

[dread78645]

Put all your canned goods in the hallway & walk on top of them for the first 2 months (Med deployment).
Make a pot of coffee with apple juice; the 8K potable water is fubar, and you're really jonesin' it.
Have someome randomly pour a tablespoon of cold hydraulic fluid down your back while you're taking a dump.
Cut all the tit-shots & nude sceens from the movies, splice together --Channel fever flick.

[LiberteeBell]

Thanks for the morning laugh!!

[RandallFlagg]

OH MY GAWD! I remember walking to my rack after midwatch(Through the Marine's berthing) and I saw these guys watching "Barnyard Follies". There went my sleep!

[Cuttnhorse]

Thanks Tonkin, I slowed down and actually read the proceedure for entering names on the crew list.
Cheers from Chile

[Non-Sequitur]

A few observations:

As an officer my berthing never got down to the levels described. Of course, that's because I was in the surface Navy and never had to share a stateroom with any airdales.

The rolling and the pitching. You forgot the rolling and the pitching. You have to perform all the above activities while the floor is moving in odd directions, sometimes as much as 30 degrees in any one direction. You want real fun? Put 300 guys on a tin can, send them out in to the Atlantic in the winter for a couple of weeks, then watch them try to walk a straight line once they are back on shore.

The food has not been described in clear enough terms. Two of the weirdest things I ever saw served were, and I kid you not, green beans and gravy and sweet-and-sour hot dogs. On the other hand the Navy makes dynamite corn bread.

[68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub]

"The rolling and the pitching."

My Destroyer took a 46 1/2 degree roll (I was on the helm watch and saw the neddle swing with my own eyes and the OD had the Quartermaster log it in the log book.) in the edge of a typhoon in the Pacific in Mar '69. Oh yeah, the good old days, LOL

[soxfan]

Nothing like a 0300 wardroom pantry "horsec**k and cheese" to settle that stomach, either.

[Ax]

Now I know why I joined the U S Air Force.

I will, however, match my squadron's mess hall at Clark Air Base, circa 1961, swill for swill with any warship's. And if you had wanted REAL swill, there was the mess hall at flight ops at Wake Island. Or at the mustering-out "dining facility" at McGuire AFB, NJ.

[ofMagog]

Dang spoiled kids got it easy today!

Don't know what hard duty is!

I was middle oar in the tenth row on bottom deck and had to sit behind A+Bert,
who complained how hard he had it when he came on board 20 years earlier.

The ankle chains were also a drag, but the weekly dousing did help a bit in getting rid of the smell.

Some nut form the TGYC kepy signing "Row, row, row yer boat," but we tossed him to the sharks.