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Need jokes!
Myself
| 10/18/01
| jnwelcjh
Posted on 10/18/2001 9:53:53 AM PDT by Airwinger
Hi freepers, I know this might seem a bit frivilous in this time of our nation, but the wife and I are putting on a skit at a party, and I want some good Osama/Afganistan military jokes to tell: you know, like, Why does the Afganistan Navy sail in glass bottom boats? So they can see the Afganistan air force, I know it's dumb, but! thanks all!
TOPICS: News/Current Events
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1
posted on
10/18/2001 9:53:53 AM PDT
by
Airwinger
(jnwelch@I-55.com)
To: Airwinger
Q: How does the Taliban play Bingo?
A: B-52...F-16...B-1...
2
posted on
10/18/2001 9:56:50 AM PDT
by
Centaur
To: Airwinger
Did you hear that 3 of Bin Laden's associates have been captured? They caught Been Loafin, Been Drikin, and Been Sleeping. They are still looking for Been Working.
I kept it clean for ya. I can go blue if you want.
To: Airwinger
Q: Why did Airport security throw the little grandmother with knitting needles off the airplane.
A: She was knitting an Afgan.....
To: Airwinger
I have a moral question for you. This is an imaginary situation, but I think it is fun to decide what one would do. The situation: You are in the Middle East, and there is a huge flood in progress. Many homes have been lost, water supplies compromised and structures destroyed. Let's say that you're a photographer and getting still photos for a news service, traveling alone, looking for particularly poignant scenes. You come across Osama Bin Laden who has been swept away by the floodwaters. He is barely hanging on to a tree limb and is about to go under. You can either put down your camera and save him, or take a Pulitzer Prize winning photograph of him as he loses his grip on the limb. So, here's the question and think carefully before you answer the question below: Which lens and shutter speed would you use?
5
posted on
10/18/2001 9:59:31 AM PDT
by
6ppc
To: Airwinger
Snow White is the most popular movie in Afghanistan because it stars a bunch of bearded geeks, in a cave, and a virgin.
We're turning security at Reagan National over to the Israelis, who will rename it Hebrew National.
To: Airwinger
Why don't they have television in Afghanistan? Because they have a telly-ban.
7
posted on
10/18/2001 10:01:07 AM PDT
by
KarlH
To: Airwinger
Why doesn't Bin Laden teach his soldiers drivers ed and sex ed on the same day?
He doesn't want to wear out the camel.
To: Airwinger
Q: What do Kabul and Hiroshima have in common?
A: Nothing,.... yet.
Q: What is the Taliban's national bird?
A: Duck.
Q: How is bin Laden like Fred Flintstone?
A: Both may look out their windows and see Rubble.
Q: Why does the Afghanistan Navy have glass bottom boats?
A: So they can see their Air Force.
Q: What do Osama bin Laden and General Custer have in common?
A: They both want to know where those Tomahawks are coming from.
Q: Whats the difference between the Taliban and Christmas?
A: Christmas will be here in December.
9
posted on
10/18/2001 10:01:41 AM PDT
by
oldvike
To: Airwinger
10
posted on
10/18/2001 10:03:03 AM PDT
by
Toidylop
To: Airwinger
Kabul, Afghanistan---October 17, 2001-- A shocking development took place today as the ruling members of the Taliban held a press conference threatening the United States if its territory is invaded.
Ruling Czar Mohmammed Akmed Jomahmah stated that the Afghan authorities "would not hesitate for a moment" to cut off the US supply of convenience store and motel managers. More to follow
11
posted on
10/18/2001 10:03:16 AM PDT
by
oldvike
To: Airwinger
Osama is to Religion like
Dahmer was to Cuisine
12
posted on
10/18/2001 10:03:19 AM PDT
by
bwteim
To: Airwinger
use real news reports ala bird doo-doo being reported by stupid lady as anthrax deployed from airplane.
To: Airwinger
Uncle Sam and Bin Laden are getting ready to duke it out when a genie appears and tries to settle the dispute. He offers each one wish. Bil Laden says "Give me an impenetratable wall around Afganistan so the infadels can never get in." The genie waves his hand and a huge wall arises around Afganistan. Uncle Sam is intrigued by the wall. He asks the genie, "How big is this wall?" The genie replies "It is 10,000 feet high and 1 mile thick. Now what is your wish?" Uncle Sam says, "Fill it with water."
14
posted on
10/18/2001 10:06:01 AM PDT
by
aomagrat
To: Airwinger
Three guys, a Canadian, Osama bin Ladin and Uncle Sam are out walking together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out.
"I will give each of you each one wish, that's three wishes total," says the Genie.
The Canadian says, "I am a farmer, my dad was a farmer, and my son will also farm. I want the land to be forever fertile in Canada." With a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' the land in Canada was forever made fertile for farming.
Osama bin Ladin was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around Afghanistan, so that no infidels, Jews or Americans can come into our precious state." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye, 'POOF' there was a huge wall around Afghanistan.
"Uncle Sam" (A former civil engineer), asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall." The Genie explains, "Well, it's about 15,000 feet high, 500 feet thick and completely surrounds the country; nothing can get in or out-virtually impenetrable."
"Uncle Sam" says, "Fill it with water."
15
posted on
10/18/2001 10:07:36 AM PDT
by
oldvike
To: Airwinger
The year is 2030 and a man takes his 10-year-old son to visit New York. When he shows him where the WTC was, the son asks, "What was World Trade Center?" The dad explains that in 2001 some Arab terrorists used our own planes to kill 6,000 people and took down the two highest buildings in New York. The boy then asks, "What were Arabs?"
To: 6ppc
How can you make a bunch of Pakistani's get out of the pool?
Throw in an Afghani.
Why do they serve goat cheese at Afghani weddings?
To keep the flies off the bride.
To: aomagrat
LMAO, what are the chances of us posting two different versions of the same joke at around the same time?
18
posted on
10/18/2001 10:08:36 AM PDT
by
oldvike
To: Airwinger
Did you hear that the Taliban required that the schools cease teaching driver's education and sex education during the same semester because it was too hard on the camel.
19
posted on
10/18/2001 10:09:13 AM PDT
by
LetsRok
To: Airwinger
This just in from paradise:
"We are running out of virgins up here!"
20
posted on
10/18/2001 10:10:27 AM PDT
by
Sooner
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