Posted on 09/21/2001 9:46:20 AM PDT by dead
NEW BEDFORD, Mass. - Young children exposed to country music score lower on IQ tests than kids raised on rock 'n' roll, declares controversial music professor Dr. Roger Solett - and he bases his startling claim on the results of a study of 1,000 kids!
"Country music makes kids stupid," he said. "It's the mind- warping lyrics." And he cited a few examples drawn from what he called "some of the most popular country songs of the past two decades." On the list:
"I'd Rather Have a Bottle in Front of Me Than a Frontal Lobotomy."
"Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissin' You Goodbye."
"If You Wanna Keep Your Beer Cold, Put It Next to My Ex-wife's Heart."
Dr. Solett is the former director of the prestigious Chopin Symphony and a professor of music. He said he and his research team gave IQ tests to 500 6-year-olds whose parents played country music in the house or car daily.
"They're Billy Ray Cyrus, Faith Hill, Clint Black, Randy Travis, Garth Brooks fans - and their children scored, on average, 10 points lower on standard IQ tests than 500 6-year-olds whose parents are rock 'n' roll junkies," said Dr. Solett.
"Now what's the difference between rock and country? It's just wild people banging on drums and strumming guitars in both cases. Lots of howling. Lots of noise. The only difference between rock and country is that country is stupid - the lyrics, I mean.
" 'I wanna whip your cow . . . I fell on a pile of you and got love all over me . . . Drop-kick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life' . . . I mean, c'mon, this kinda stuff'll warp your mind."
But Dr. Solett's controversial study, and particularly his views, are not shared by many, if any, of his peers. And a member of his own research team, who asked to remain anonymous, told Weekly World News, "He hates hick music with a passion."
And let's not forget that it also makes you violent and, so, should be banned immediately. Why, just look at some of the filth in Johnny Cash's songs:
Cocaine Blues - about taking drugs and shooting your wife/girlfriend
Delia's Gone - about killing your loved one
Wanted Man - about running from the law
Folsom Prison Blues - "I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die"
A Boy Named Sue - committing violence against a parent
Starkville City Jail - disrespect for law enforcement
San Quentin - disrespect for the penal system
Sure, he sings some gospel songs but we all know it's a cover so that he can poison the minds of music listeners.
I'm on to you, Johnny
Why didn't he sit it out?
I hope he sits it out!
What do you get if you play a country song backwards?You get your job back, your truck back, your wife back, your trailer back, your dog back, and sober.
Some of my recent favorite country titles:
"You're Going To Ruin My Bad Reputation"
"You Ain't Much Fun Since I Quit Drinkin'"
"Old Enough To Know Better (Still Too Young To Care)"
"A doo-doo-doo, A dah-dah-dah,
That's all I have to say to you."
Damn good thing he didn't say something snotty about Merle Haggard...or Willie and Waylon...or Hank By God Williams!
Actually, the poor sap doesn't seem to realize that the lyrics he's quoting are either a.) fabricated, for the purposes of self-satirization or b.) performed as satires. Country music has the grace to laugh at itself.
Something this overbearing twerp doesn't have the wit to recognize and would never dream of doing to himself. To think that a "professor of music" would have less grace and wit than Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys.
But, as a master of satire yourself, dead, you would recognize this. And that's why you posted it. Thanks for the laugh.
This is why we're taking it seriously. If it were published in JAMA, we'd know it was just the usual commie liberal do-gooder BS.
The World Weekly News, well, THAT's a journal of repute!
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