Bin Laden Verses

internet | 11/20/01 | R. Poeta

[Cincinnatus]

There once was a man named Osama
Who spent too much time with his momma.
You won't see him strut
With that cruise up his butt
From our dear old B-52 bomb-a.

* * *

There once was a group: Taliban
Of Bin Laden, each one was a fan.
Here's a product for you:
Sumblock 242.
Go prepare for your nuclear tan.

-R. Poeta
11/20/01

[Cincinnatus]

Let the Rhymes begin.

[dighton]

I'll leave this to the pros.

[Brute_Force]

A creep by the name of bin Laden
Was granted executive pahdon
When President Bush
Fired a nuke up his tush
Now he’s compost all over the gahden.

[The G Man]

There once was a liberal punk named Maher,
Whose politically correct comments went too far,
The bastard felt so empowered,
as to call our boys cowards,
When hes canned I'll go "hardy, har, har."

[The G Man]

There once was a real horses ass
Who committed an atrocity en masse,
But he was too smart by half
As the US had the last laugh
When we turned his dessert to a sheet of glass.

[Cincinnatus]

A terrorist chap named Bin Laden
Wore robes of the best Egypt cotton.
The towers that fell
Should remind him of hell,
Where he'll be soon for being so rotten.

[Paradox]

A man they called Osama Bin,
Tried hiding in Afganistin,
Soon found, he was shot,
Buried there on the spot,
In his new suit of football grade pigskin.

[MinuteGal]

In a far-away Taliban cult

Something happened that made them exult

Goat and camel were wed

Nine months after their bed

Osama was the twisted result.

Leni

[Husker8877]

Nutty bin Laden--Osama
Sick of the Camel and Llama
Of us he was jealous
Hired thugs who were zealots
May he RIP in pink pig pajamas.

[Paradox]

Osama with his too tight white Turban
Laid attack on our city so urban
So over we sent
Soccer moms who would vent
And run him over with Chevy Suburbans.

[Cincinnatus]

Osama just wouldn't behave,
He took on the Free and the Brave
So just sit there and stare
at the rocket's red glare
as the cruise missiles enter your cave

[Physicist]

When Pearl Harbor was struck by Japan
To crush U.S. power was their plan
They gained from this trip
Our custodianship
Let's extend that to Afghanistan!

[Cincinnatus]

Dear Allah, I write from my cave.
It's Osama, the daring and brave!
I have done all you ask,
I've completed each task,
Won't you come now and rescue your slave?

Osama, it's Allah, you schmuck.
I'm afraid you have run out of luck.
Now stand up tall and proud,
Then look up at the cloud,
And whatever comes down, please don't duck!

[Cincinnatus]

Osama, special friend of the goats,
Thought he had all of us by the throats
He can try to explain
To the missiles and planes
Of the Enterprise and Carl Vinson Boats

[kevkrom]

Osama Haiku:

Provocation by
Osama bin Laden will
Not go unanswered

Our response will be
Sent very shortly, coming
By B-52

Our million dollar
Missiles will not be flattening
Some ten dollar tents

Instead, we will take
The fight directly to you
And finish this now

Nukes are not needed
Lesser weapons will suffice
Like some fuel-air bombs

And when we are done
You're next, Saddam -- start looking
For a successor

[Cincinnatus]

There once was a Taliban Guest
Who decided that he was quite blessed.
The Yemen born Saudi
Started getting quite rowdy
And decided to take on the west

"The land of the Chevy Impala
And that stupid Taco Chi-Hua-Hua
Will go down in flames
In the most holy names
Of Osama bin Laden and Allah!"

So he and his Al-Quaeda clan
Came up with the dastardly plan
"We'll blow up the towers
The world will be Our's
We'll kill every woman and man"

But Osama, he was mistaken
Too big a chance he had taken
For the U.S. United
And candles they lighted
Osama's cause was forsaken

The Clerics said "What were you thinking?
Had you been smoking or drinking?
They'll soon be upon us
They'll shoot us and bomb us
Our freshly fried flesh will be stinking!"

"We have one more trick up our sleave"
Said the clerics "will ask you to Leave!"
The Clerics said "You must Go!"
Bush said "Well, No."
The trick was a little naive.

Osama just wouldn't behave
He took on the Free and the Brave
So just sit there and stare
at the rocket's red glare
as the cruise missiles enter your cave