"Black"

Sleepy shady campsite...lovely FReepin' day...
Tanned legs spread out before me...sun-drenched body shined wet.
Lo...beauty from the Heavens...I revolve around her Sun. [MUD's Earth to Jewel's Sun]
Her warm scent I gasped, then I breathed...girl's makin' me burn!!

Ooooohh...o'er and o'er, I told the girl..."Kids can dream!!"
O'er and o'er, Jewel begged of MUD, "Love me, boy."
But MUD's gotta better half...with whom MUD lays down...
GOODBYE...my FRagile flame...girl, Lib'ralism's DEAD!!

Nation, washed with blood...LIES the Leftist's shame...
I'll take the watch tonite...Left's surrounded by TYRANTS and HATE!!
I just hear Slick's laughter...Bill lies to hisself.
Ohhhh...all Left's twisted thoughts I sing...SlixMYbitch!!
I'm spinnin'...ohhhh, MUD's grinnin'...=^D
God Bless my bitten land...must kick Righteous A$$...
Fer what Left did to me!!

Ohhh...Left's B!+(# is bad...Medyuh watched and fled...
SLAUGHTERED everything...
Ohhh...the Left's ALL BAD...turned MUD's world to black...
Spitooned on all I see...all that I am...all I'll BE-EE-EE-EE...yeah!!

I know someday, Jewel'll make a beautiful wife...
I know she'll be MY star...
But somebody else's gotta show the spine!! It's TIME!! SHINE!! Justice be thine...

Doo dah doo doo doodie doo...
Doo dah doo doo doodie doo...
Doo dah doo doo doodie doo...
Doo dah doo doo doodie doo...
Doo dah doo doo doodie doo...

"Give Peace a Chance"
By John Lennon

Intro spoken: Two one two three four...

Ev'rybody's talking about Bagism,Shagism,Dragism,Madism, Ragism,Tagism,Thisism,Thatism, Isn't it the most...

All we are saying
Is give Peace a Chance

Ev'rybody's talking about Ministers,Sinisters,Banisters and Canisters, Bishops and Fishops, Rabbis and Popeyes Bye bye bye bye...

All we are saying
Is give Peace a Chance

Ev'rybody's talking about revolution,Evolution,Mastication,Flagelation, Regulations,Integrations,Meditations,United Nations,Congratulations...

All we are saying
Is give Peace a Chance

Ev'rybody's talking about John and Yoko,Timmy Leary,Rosemary, Tommy Smothers,Bobby Dylan,Tommy Cooper,Derek Taylor,Norman Mailer, Alan Ginsberg,Hare Krishna,Hare,Hare Krishna...

{goto Chorus and play til the you die}

Chords: Frets: Fingerings:

Db x46664 x13331
Ab 466544 x13421

Hey Rush, at least sing it in tune!!

LOL...MUD

OK, here we go. Just remember, you asked for it! =P

Just over two centuries ago, our forefathers risked Life, Liberty, and their personal fortunes to stand up against an over-bearing and tyrannical government. Because of their courage and determination, the original Thirteen Colonies became what we now know as the United States of America. Therefore, our honored forebears were all-too-aware of the propensity for central governing bureaucracies to grow out of control.

Hold on thar, cowboy! Since the thirteen colonies became one nation, you're saying that they were "all-too-aware" of a burdgeoning central gov't? Logically, the opposite would be true, if anything.

The writers of our Constitution, in an attempt to protect the citizenry from this eventuality, chose to enumerate our individual liberties in the Bill of Rights.

Actually, I thought it was to protect them against monarchical tyranny, but okay.

The First Amendment includes "the right to free speech," which not only protected the individual's right to speak out against the government, but also enabled the Fourth Branch of Government--the Free Press, if you will--to flourish. For over two hundred years, this watchdog Media has turned over many rocks, exposing the dark under-belly of American politics...UNTIL NOW!!

Presently Living on the Lam, skipping from Country to Country, and State to State, is a small petty man, heading a vast criminal conspiracy.

Aww, you're so flattering! But I think he's like around 6'2" or so, so I wouldn't call him small. =P

Bill Clinton most certainly committed multiple felonies and obstructed justice in the Monica Lewinsky matter. A morally-weak, spineless Senate was not up to the task of removing him from office, making a mockery of our Legal System as the #1 Law Enforcement Officer in the land is master-minding a relentless attack on The Rule of Law; however, it is clear that Clinton is "Guilty" (beyond all reasonable doubts) of multiple felonies and SHALL BE BROUGHT TO JUSTICE!!

Wait, didn't we bring him to justice already when we brough him before the Senate to face impeachment articles? Or was that just the Republicans having fun with us? Maybe you didn't like the verdict, but hey, those are the guys America elected to do the job. We on the left didn't like the verdict we got from the Supreme Court last December on Bush v. Gore, but life goes on.

Since escaping Justice in the Impeachment Trial, Mr. Clinton has been credibly accused of Violent RAPE by one nice woman, Ms. Juanita Broaddrick. Either this is a major slander against the good name of an innocent man...or else Bill Clinton raped and violently bit the lip of this young woman. If it wasn't true, don't you think the Rapist-in-Chief would have come out a bit more strongly in his own defense?!

Or maybe he didn't want to give credibility to every wacko claim that people make against him.

Now, we come to find out the President of the United States is most likely guilty of TREASON, for accepting illegal foreign campaign donations from the Communist Chinese in exchange for basically offering a free run of our Nuclear Weapons Labs and authorizing high technology transfers through key Democratic National Committee contributors, Hughes and Loral. Corruption never ran as deep and as wide as is the case with this Administration!!

Guilty until proven innocent...how constitutional. =P

Yes, when it comes to brazenly flouting the laws and mores of this Country, this Clinton Cadre of Corrupt Communist Co-Conspirators is charting a new course.

Hey, nice assonance! =)

Yet, the blatantly Left-Wing Media can't find the time or the manpower to investigate/report the Truth about Slick Willie's Felonious Behavior, the "dark side" of the man who could violently rape a supportor and suggest as he left, "Better put some ice on that, baby!"

Well, most reporters like to report on the facts. If you don't have facts to prove your assertions, then you get in trouble as a reporter.

No, our "Free Press" cannot even find it in themselves to report on the TREASON committed by Bill Clinton, in which each and every man, woman, and child in America is now significantly more at risk than 8 years ago, simply because Bill Clinton needed some illegal contributions to retain his tenuous hold on the reins of Power.

Do I hear you correctly? Are you implicitly blaming Clinton for September 11? For one thing, that's a far, far stretch, even if what you claim is true, which I don't believe it is. Secondly, do you really think it's a good idea to criticize our leaders in a time of war? Notice I haven't said one nasty thing about Bush since 9/11 -- maybe you should follow my example.

We've seen how ridiculous the Yugoslavian State-controlled Media Propoganda Machine looked in the recent conflagration in Kosovo...who amongst the Media Poltroons can explain to me the difference between Clinton's Media and Slobo's. Fortunately, the Network drones are becoming irrelevant!

I suppose if you listen to enough Rush Limbaugh and watch enough FOXNews, it would seem that way. Garbage in, garbage out.

If you want to help in reclaiming our Country from the Evil that occupies the Oval Office, here's the gameplan...

RE-IMPEACH. Um, he's no longer in office.

CONVICT. Um, you gotta have evidence first.

DETHRONE. Um, he doesn't have a throne.

DE-PENSION. Um, that's unconstitutional, even if found guilty of any of these things.

DISBAR. Um, they already suspended his legal license for perjury...you can't have double jeopardy.

INDICT. Um, see the part about "you gotta have evidence first" above.

CONVICT. Um, see the part about "you gotta have evidence first" above.

IMPRISON. Um, see the part about "you gotta have evidence first" above.

DISCARD KEY. Um, see the part about "you gotta have evidence first" above.

(COURT-MARTIAL FOR TREASON AND APPROPRIATE PUNISHMENT OPTIONAL) Well, I'm glad to see you're leaving the defense some wiggle room! =)

"One Sleazy Rider"
(To be sung to Charlie Daniels Band's "Uneasy Rider")

Bill was takin' a trip back to A-R-K,
Toolin' along in his Cabriolet,
Tokin' on a number and diggin' on the radio.
Just as he crossed that ol' Virginny line,
He heard that highway start to whine,
And he knew that left rear tire was about to go!
Well, the spare was flat and he got uptight,
Becuz there wasn't a fillin' station in sight,
So he just limped on down the shoulder on the rim.
He went as far as he could and when he stopped the car...
It was right in front of my little bar,
Kind of a pool-hall-lookin' joint called "The libertarian".

Well, Slick stuffed his hair up under his hat,
And arrogantly announced that he had a flat,
And would I accept some weed in exchange for a new one?
Well, there was one thing I was sure glad to see,
Wasn't a soul in the place 'cept fer him and me,
And he looked so disgustin', I just pointed towards the telephone.
He called up dead's station down the road aways,
And dead said he wasn't very busy today,
And he could be there in about ten minutes or so.
Slick said, "My names Bill the New DemocRAT!!"
And I didn't bother to tell the durn fool that
I sure as Hell don't care fer Left-wing politicos.

He just ordered up a spritzer and sat down at my bar,
When some guy walks in and says, "Who owns this car...
With the peace sign, freak wheels, and astroturf floor?"
Well, we looked at Bill and he damned near cried,
And decided that he'd just wait outside,
So he laid a dollar on the bar and headed for the door.
Just when he thought he'd get outta there with his skin,
These five REAL MEN come strollin' in,
With this Angelique chick and a young fella named Gingrich!!
And he was almost to the door when stand watie said,
"You tip your hat to this lady, son!"
But when he did all that hair fell out from underneath.

Now the last thing Bill wanted was to get in a fight,
Anywhere, anytime, as he quivered in fright,
'Specially since he's a yella punk and fightin' made him pee!
But they all started laughin' and he felt kinda sick,
And he knew he better think of something pretty quick,
So he just reached out and kicked Newt Gingrich right in the knee!!
Newt let out a yell that'd curl your hair,
But before Slick could move, I grabbed me a chair...
And said, "Watch him folks, becuz he's a thoroughly dangerous man!
Well, you may not know it, but this man's a spy,
He's a Soviet mole and awfully sly,
And he's been sent down here to denigrate ol' Uncle Sam!"

Newt was still bent over holdin' onto his knee,
But all them FReepers wuz lookin' and listenin' to me,
And I told how Bill was drafted and never ever went!
I said, "Would you believe that this man has gone so far...
As puttin' Stalin stickers on the bumpers of cars,
And he voted for George McGovern for President!!
Well, he's one of them long-haired, pretty-boy Left-wing nags,
I betcha he's even got a Commie flag,
Tacked up on his wall! To him, FReedom's just a mirage!
He's a snake in the grass, I'll tell ya guys,
He make look dumb, but that's just a disguise,
'Cuz he's a mastermind in the ways of espionage!"
They all started lookin' real suspicious at Billy,
And he jumped up and said, "Now wait a minute, Sillies,
You know he's lyin', I been Conservative all of my life!
SO WHAT if I left my Country in a lurch?
I belong to the Little Rock Baptist Church,
Oh sure, I sleep with a lotta broads, but so'd you once you met my wife!"
Then Bill started whinin' 'bout the way he was stressed,
But I didn't wait for him to explain the rest,
I held off dirtboy while bouncin' Billy outta there on his butt!
And when he hit the ground he didn't relax...
'Cuz they was just takin' his car down off the jacks...
So he threw ol' dead a dime bag and fired that muthah up!!
Ol' Oprah Winfrey woulda sure got HOT...
At the way Bill was fussin' as he left my lot,
With AuntB hollerin' and chasin' him in a trot!
Now, lookin' back I shoulda let 'em have their fun,
Reckon that's I'm "The Compassionate One",
But I did join all them FReepers fer many a Tequila shot!!

Well, since that day, o'er twenty years had past,
When I realized ol' Bill's still smokin' that grass.
He was doin' the Sting as few men can...Hell! He even cut his hair!
Folks, he's had ya'll slavin' while he's spendin' and taxin',
As if Bill was our King and all loot's his for the cashin'...
Then Bill figured he oughtta split before the LAW got there.
'Cuz in his campaigns, he was caught dirty-dealin',
Influence sellin' and bimbos a'squeelin'...
But he didn't RESIGN 'til he was RE-IMPEACHED by Congress!
Folks, I think we're gonna rewrite Bill's script,
Instead of goin' workin' for that DreamWorks/Lippo Clique,
Let's sentence Bill to Leavenworth, post-President!!

LOL and FReegards...MUD

96 Posted on 09/29/2000 08:29:51 PDT by Mudboy Slim

Help me...help me a'fore I highlight again!!

LOL...

"Thunderous Thighs"
(To be sung to the Rolling Stones' "Faraway Eyes")

I wuz drivin' home, early Sunday mornin', thru DeeCeeVille...
List'nin' to Ol' Mick Jagger on the AM radio station...
And the DeeJay said, "You know you always got the Left by your side!"
And I wuz so pleased to be informed of this...
That I drove thru Slick's Whore House with my four-wheel!!
Thank ya, Clinton!! Thank ya, Gore!!

Slick had an arrangement to meet a girl...
Another intern date...
But Bill thought by the time he got there...
She'd be off, she'd be doin' the nearest Senator she could find!!
Much to his surprise, there she wuz...pickin' at her thong-wear...
Big Mo' Lewinsky, blue beret on her head...
Justa girl...with thunderous thighs!!

So if Ol' Hell'ry won't suck...
'Cuz the First Beach don't do guys...
Find a girl with thunderous thighs!!
And if you're horny and dusty...
'Cuz your wife don't do the jam...
Getta girl with thunderous thighs!!
Well...

Well, the Lib'rals keep right on sayin'...
That all you need to do is send more tax money to the...
"Sacred" DeeCee Whores of Guv'ment...
Located somewhere in downtown District of Columbia!!

But next week, they'll play my songs on the ray-dee-oh...
And all Right's dreams will come true!!
Libs're dead...and next week, Lord hear my prayer...
Hear me, world...folks, you know what kinda lies Slick spouts...
But I'll tell ya...

So now Slick's down on his luck...
'Cuz Ol' Hell'ry don't do guys...
Hired a girl...with thunderous thighs!!
Now, if you're downright disgusted...
And you're tired of Slick's scam...
Hire a girl to prove that Slick lies!
Yes, now Bill's down on his luck...
In jail, Ol' Slick'll soon reside...
He'll be the "girl" with pasty white thighs!!

Mudboy Slim

97 Posted on 09/29/2000 08:37:21 PDT by Mudboy Slim

BWAHAHAHAHA....

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