Posted on 09/10/2001 4:14:35 PM PDT by Sir Gawain
MEMPHIS, Tenn. - Outraged fans of Elvis Presley are all shook up over rumors that goose-stepping, cross-dressing shock rocker Eva Braun plans to buy The King's beloved Graceland mansion - and gleefully burn it to the ground!
"Braun has always been against everything America stands for, but this time he's gone too far," fumed one fan who learned of the rumors on the Internet.
"To trash the President, attack God and make a mockery of family values is bad enough, but to destroy The King of Rock and Roll's home just for spite is beyond evil."
Weekly World News has been unable to substantiate rumors that the landmark mansion, visited by millions of fans of the beloved rock legend every year, is about to fall into the clutches of Braun, who proudly takes his name from Nazi madman Adolf Hitler's longtime lover. But the idiot reportedly has hissed to friends: "I'll buy Graceland, and burn it to the ground!"
But the word on the streets of Memphis is that when Braun heard that Presley's daughter Lisa Marie was thinking of selling the sprawling estate, he jumped at the chance to seize it.
It is well-known that Braun - whose twisted, hate-filled lyrics from songs such as "Burn Your Mother" and "Red, White and Fool" are believed to have inspired some of Germany's most recent and shocking street violence - has never been a big fan of the music icon.
"Eva is a committed satanist and as such, he's always been scornful of Elvis, who was a devout Christian all his life," revealed a recording-industry insider.
"He thinks of Elvis as corny and too squeaky clean, someone who played it safe. He'll never pass up an opportunity to tweak the noses of Presley's fans, whom he considers bumpkins."
The animosity runs deep - at past concerts, Braun has burned Elvis in effigy. Once he closes on Presley's palace, rock's dark lord plans to make a public spectacle of the burning - charging admission to a satanic ceremony that he will hold beforehand, then allowing his ghoulish followers to douse the building with kerosene, according to the bizarre rumors.
But, reportedly, the Lucifer-loving lunatic will reserve for himself the honor of lighting the match that will set the tourist mecca ablaze.
Whether or not the rumors are true, delighted fans of Braun are already showing their approval of the sicko scheme.
"The King is dead. Long live the fuhrer," a group of the perverted performer's crazed followers chanted at a recent concert.
But Elvis fans are just as fired up about the purported torching plot - and they've started a grassroots campaign to plead with heiress Lisa Marie not to sell Graceland to Braun, no matter how many millions he offers.
"Money isn't everything," a 72-year-old Memphis resident and longtime Elvis fan told Weekly World News.
"We just can't let a catastrophe like this happen."
For the record I am against burning Graceland.
I know this is all a joke but if people were more outraged over the continuous attacks of Christianity by the entertainment industry rather than being outraged at someone attacking their favorite Earthly icons maybe our world wouldn't be in such a sorry state.
Shock Rock is just that. Not to be taken seriously!!! Calm down!!
I wouldn't envy the person standing in front of the district judge in Memphis charged with the well documented burning of Graceland. And you could safely bet he'd not get bail (flight risk and all).
Stupid rumor.
...not to mention the environmental impact statement prior to the conflagration.
Yup. You've found us out.
We Libertarians have a secret plan to buy Graceland, and burn it to the ground.
We also plan to acquire every black velvet painting of the King, and burn those too.
Buuuahhahhaahahaha!!
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