CELEBRATING THE SUCCESS OF OTHERS
"Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend,
but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success."
-Oscar Wilde It is natural and understandable to feel pangs of envy when we see someone else get promoted while we may have not been; or to see someone else get a NAM and we were not recognized for our hard work. It is human. Life is full of many disappointments large and small, and it is tough to accept that others may enjoy greater fortune when we are equally deserving. How can we deal with such feelings of envy? First, it is essential to recognize that envy is an emotion that can be good or bad. "Good" envy can motivate us to keep on trying, never to give up the fight. "Bad" envy can lead a person to do harmful things to themselves or to others. It can eat away at one's inner well-being and leave a person an emotional, bitter wreck. Envy created the first murderer, Cain, who killed his brother Abel in a fit of jealousy. Second, we each need to consider the blessings we enjoy, not to dwell on the things we don't have. When I was aboard the USS THEODORE ROOSEVELT in an ethics class, we'd take a large overhead chart with a clean sheet of paper and make a dot in the center of the page with magic marker. Then we'd ask the students what they saw. They'd all say, a dot, of course. Then we'd tell them: here is this big paper, and you say all you see is the tiny dot?!!?! We must look at everything we have, not just the one or two things we feel are missing from our lives. Yes, it is hard to feel happy when others "succeed" where we have "failed", but we must never give up, nor allow ourselves to become bitter. Consider the example of my friend, a fellow Chaplain, who applied for commission as a Naval officer three times and was rejected each time. On his fourth try he was accepted and is now a distinguished member of the Chaplain Corps. Remember, when you feel at the end of your rope, make a knot and hang on!
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