Posted on 08/05/2025 4:50:48 AM PDT by Jonty30
In a dramatic twist of irony, the Secret Service’s attempt to dismiss agents hired under Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) initiatives has been thwarted by an Obama-era judge, sources have confirmed.
The agency, which had been planning to return to a merit-based hiring system, was stopped in its tracks by a court ruling deeming the layoffs illegal.
In response, President Trump took a mischievous approach by reassigning these agents to provide personal security for former presidents Clinton, Obama, and Biden. However, the trio quickly declined the service, citing a preference for agents selected through traditional, merit-based criteria—specifically requesting male agents with robust resumes.
“This is about safety, not social experiments,” remarked one spokesperson, scrambling to handle the public relations fallout.
Caught in a bureaucratic bind, the Secret Service has been forced to shuffle assignments while it appeals the decision. Meanwhile, the rejected agents find themselves in a professional limbo, with some reportedly considering writing tell-all books about their brief stints protecting high-profile Democrats.
As of press time, the Secret Service recruitment page had quietly removed all mentions of DEI from its requirements, replacing them with old-school qualifications like “sharp shooting” and “sunglasses proficiency.”
Assign the DEI agents that won’t go — to protect the scotus idiots.
This would appear to be a satire site.
It appears you’re right. It was too good to check. I first came across it on Facebook, so I thought it might have merit.
It is something that Trump would do if that was how some judge blocked his ability to fire them.
Is GWB on board ? Thats all his buds ?
Clinton, Obama, and Biden make a sh?t sandwich. Trump then makes them eat it.
“However, the trio quickly declined the service, citing a preference for agents selected through traditional, merit-based criteria—specifically requesting male agents with robust resumes.”
The article does not cite a source for this claim.
I think this is another Babylon Bee like site.
Bill Clinton's main Secret Service guy was Larry Cockell, who happens to be black. Saw him all the time. He appeared to be somewhat competent.
Yes, the sunglasses comment at the end kind of implies that.
...sunglasses proficiency...lol
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“mischievous approach”
I don’t care for the label.
I do, however, savor the irony.
Interesting logo they’ve got...
“Satire”
But of course. Now it makes sense.
And I’ll bet the name isn’t a coinkydink, either...
BTTT
Sorry - this could have been satire...
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