Paul Pelosi testifies about brutal home attack: ‘I tried to stay as calm as possible’

The Hill ^ | 11/14/2023 | LAUREN SFORZA

[ChicagoConservative27]

Was there a safe word? Asking for a friend.

[JudyinCanada]

“I tried to stay as calm as possible.”

Lololo so there’s the new strategy to stay safe when your home is broken into....pour yourself and the invader a drink, strip down to you gitchies, and make conversation about your hammer. Got it.

[fhayek]

The safe word was ‘unicorn’. You always need to be careful if you play leap frog with a unicorn.

[Iron Munro]

Paul knows that you gotta’ be careful when consorting with those killer Homos.....

[Liz]

Paul Pelosi testifies about brutal home attack: ‘I tried
to stay as calm as possible’.....(sniffle) watta guy (sob).

[Seruzawa]

It sure took a long time to cook up this PR operation.

[RasterMaster]

Run out of crack for your gay prostitutes again, Paul?

[eyeamok]

If anyone here believes this story, let me know, I have an awesome bridge in Long beach for sale, CHEAP!!!

[ProtectOurFreedom]

“It was a tremendous sense of shock to recognize that this person was putting on his multi-colored, inflatable unicorn costume when I hadn’t even gotten mine down from the closet shelf yet.”

[Liz]

.....there’s the new strategy to stay safe when your home is broken into....pour yourself and
the invader a drink, strip down to you gitchies, and make conversation about your hammer.....

---

Let me jot that down so I don’t forget it.

[Manic_Episode]

That entire quart of brandy calmed his nerves down quite nicely...

[JudyinCanada]

Make sure you do it in the right order. I suggest pour the drink first, it will help you with step #2.

[RckyRaCoCo]

So did the attacker get off?

(cough)

[Scrambler Bob]

His script was better, and more practiced than any that Shiff has ever come up with.

When are the next academy awards?

[Liz]

Okay....good tip.

[one guy in new jersey]

All of the prior commenters seem gleely to be denigrating Paul Pelosi.

Yet when the video came out, if memory serves, it validated his story relating the horror of the incident, and his efforts to resolve it with the help of the police.

What gives here?

[coalminersson]

This story has changed my life. I no longer get hammered when I wear a unicorn suit.

[Responsibility2nd]

How could Pelosi stay so calm when his BFF brought TWO Inflatable Multicolor Uniform Costumes  (and other party items) with him?

Paul was giddy with delight. Admit it.

[rlmorel]

I think we do have at least one Freeper on this thread who might believe the story put out by the media.

Get your bridge ready!

[Vaduz]

Indeed maybe he didn’t remember what it was for that guy.