Posted on 10/19/2022 8:33:51 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
The Marriage Strengthening Research & Dissemination Center (or MAST Center) recently released a new report illustrating the vast scale of disillusionment regarding the institution of marriage in the eyes of America’s young people.
Among other findings, the study found that almost 80% of teenagers (categorized as 15- to 19-year-olds) expect to cohabit before marriage, with 95% saying that they expect to marry someday.
In an article analyzing the report, Alysse ElHage of the Institute for Family Studies highlighted some particularly revealing comments from teenagers about their thoughts on marriage from a New York Times story from 2019.
A teen from Texas reflected:
I feel like nowadays it’s not really as important to get married, especially for people of my age and generation. The reason being is that we are being taught by our parents and educators that our education should come first in order to have a stable life financially and career wise, which causes many people to neglect the thought of marriage. Not only that, but society has also made marriage seem like it should be like the least important thing for a person to think about.
Another student from North Carolina wrote:
Asking if I want to get married someday is a poor question in my opinion. Marriage is just a title, a contract; it only begins to matter once love is in the picture … I think it’s acceptable to live with a romantic partner without having plans to get married.
These findings and quotes combine for a perfect encapsulation of our current cultural view of relationships and marriage: living together is expected, while marriage is simultaneously a throwaway relic from prehistoric times but also a mythical ideal. As has become customary in our modern society, confusion, and disillusionment now reign supreme.
How did we get to a cultural place where the concept of marriage has become so mocked and diluted? While many factors are at play here, arguably the most important factor is the societal loss of knowledge of why God created marriage for the human race, a covenantal relationship instituted at the very beginning of creation: “[H]e who made them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one’? So they are no longer two but one. What therefore God has joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:4-6).
The extent to which teens are without solid foundational beliefs has been documented by the Barna Group, which found that about 4% of Generation Z has a biblical worldview. They also note that this number is the lowest of the three previous generations (10% of Boomers, 7% of Generation X, and 6% of Millennials).
The specific loss of a Christian understanding of marriage is key here. For the secular culture, marriage has simply become the formalization of a relationship of two people who are already living together. As alluded to in the two teen quotes above, marriage is seen as a foolish and unimportant idea, unless it has been thoroughly road tested by two people who have shacked up together to see how it goes, and then maybe done as a second thought if it happens to suit their fancy.
The first problem with this hypothesis is that it doesn’t work. Studies have consistently shown that couples who cohabitate before getting married divorce at higher rates than those who wait until marriage to move in together. The reasons for this have been intensely debated amongst university elites, but for believers, the reason is clear: When God’s laws against premarital sex are broken and ignored, the results are an absolute disaster. Since the sexual revolution began in the 1960s (when premarital sex began to become widely culturally accepted), the rates of divorce, abortion, and sexually transmitted diseases skyrocketed.
Still, it’s quite telling that fully 95% of teenagers say they want to get married someday. Despite how profoundly our society has cheapened marriage and sex, our souls still yearn for God’s design for humankind at the deepest level. We long for communion and unity, to be known and loved intimately and exclusively by another in the form of a vow, which is a reflection of God’s love for us. We also know primordially that we are all the incarnation of the union of our mother and father — of an act that God designed only for marriage. The entire human race would not exist without the marriage of one man and one woman, Adam and Eve (see Genesis 2).
This latest study on cohabitation shows that we believers have our work cut out for us. While combatting the lies of the sexual revolution is important, it is perhaps more effective to witness the beauty of God’s laws and the tangible ways that they bring happiness and joy to our own marriages and families. It should serve as further motivation to redouble our efforts to spread the Gospel of life, sacred vows, commitment, and true love (John 15:13) to our friends, families, coworkers, neighbors, and others in our circles of influence.
Originally published at The Washington Stand.
Dan Hart is the Managing Editor for Publications at Family Research Council. His writing has appeared in such outlets as National Review, The Federalist, First Things, The Stream, The Christian Post, the National Catholic Register, and others. Before joining FRC, he served with the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops, where he worked to promote vocations to the clergy and religious life.
I cohabitated with wife #1 for two years and we got divorced. Did not cohabitate with my current wife prior to our marriage and things are a lot better. May also be a coincidence.
We told our kids marriage is not only godly but meant to protect the weaker partner ... usually the wife and always the kids.
Case in point ... cohabiting friends ... he died ... she loses the house.
We had a 50 percent success rate. :(
It's more of a recording device. Records are important in the event that marriages are contested.
“ and she said: “The woman who lives with a man befor marriage KNOWS he broke the rules to do so. She doesn’t trust him. In her mind, he’ll break the rules again and have sex with another woman besides her.”
Says the woman who is breaking the exact same rules as the man
I think it’s for several reasons….testing the waters to see if it “works out,” quicker and easier, financial etc
But in the end, none of those matter. Getting married is about navigating those risks together.
We could also entertain the idea that it’s vastly more economical and for tax purposes quite positive to be a single mother. However, it’s detrimental to the children and future generations to have an in tact traditional family even if that means fewer tax advantages.
Nothing licenses record can’t be done with a simple contract or prenuptial contract.
Churches or others could record each marriage but without government license.
The point is, Governments use licenses as a money maker to oversee marriages. there is no need for them under current law in most state.
“ We’re also seeing people marry but once the kids are raised they think they’ve done their duty so divorce moving on to the next phase of their life.
This is of course more advantageous for a man than a woman.
”
Oh please it’s not more advantageous to a man to accumulate assets for decades and then have a sorry spouse walk out and take at least half of it cause the kids are gone
The only thing advantageous for the man is he does have to be married to someone who clearly doesn’t love him and he doesn’t have to carry her load anymore
Does not have to be married to the wanch anymore
Marriage has lost its prestige and respect now that same-sex-marriage has become common in our society. The availability of abortion makes it even more convenient.
My wife and I, our siblings, and most of our friends are in our 80’s or will soon be there.
What we are seeing people avoiding remarriage after the first spouse dies, and the number one reason are his supposedly adult children and in particular the women offspring of the male widower.
Instead of being happy that their widowed Dads found a nice woman to spend the rest of his life with, they often become open saboteurs of Dad’s remarriage.
These blood baths often become even worse open warfare if Dad dies and leaves most of his estate to his second wife not to the so called adult children of the first marriage.
Which must be officially recorded by the government in courthouses, so you've just circled around to the same point.
Churches or others could record each marriage but without government license.
True, but churches fail, split, have falling out among members, and may not be the best record keepers.
Governments use licenses as a money maker to oversee marriages...
If governments intend to make money from the nominal fee charged for marriage licenses, keeping them on file and protected in perpetuity, then they are going to go out of business from a crappy business model.
There is no net revenue generated from these fees in the long, or even intermediate, term.
Maybe the current crop of American young men know better than to talk to females?
They still exist.
My son dated for a year, was engaged for a year, and married his bride last Saturday. They did not live together before marriage.
They still exist.
My son dated for a year, was engaged for a year, and married his bride last Saturday. They did not live together before marriage.
They still exist.
My son dated for a year, was engaged for a year, and married his bride last Saturday. They did not live together before marriage.
WE will just agree to disagree, I think government has no business being in the marriage license business. If you want to protect yourself in the event of a divorce, get a prenuptial.
Governments issuing licenses was a key factor in granting gay people the right to marriage, they had a case that you can’t issue licenses to one group and not the other which is what was happening, gay people could have always written a contract to get the same rights as married people in terms of settlement of assets and child support in the event someone wanted to break the contract aka divorce.
That is correct. However, the women seem to have a worse trust issue over that circumstance than do men.
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