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As a male manager, can I refuse to meet with women unless chaperoned?
New York Post ^ | 8/15 | Greg Giangrande

Posted on 08/17/2021 5:48:30 PM PDT by nickcarraway

If a governor resigns over a “he said, she said” dispute about where his hand was when she asked for a photo, or because he asked about their personal lives, or hugged them for a second too long at an event, is there any hope for being a male manager? I feel all it takes is for one woman to make a claim and then I am tarnished forever and risk losing my job. Can I make it clear that I will refuse to meet with any woman at work one-on-one, privately?

The truth is, I hear this privately from a lot of male managers. Highly regarded and respected leaders who have never had anyone complain about them have expressed concern about meeting with female colleagues behind closed doors a result of everything that has been reported in the media these past few years. I think that fear is unwarranted. In all of my years in HR I have never experienced a case of women conspiring to make multiple false claims about a male manager. If you have any concerns about a particular colleague, male or female, and you need to have a difficult conversation with them, you may feel more comfortable having someone else in the room. That is prudent and fine. But to say you won’t meet with any women privately is insulting and unprofessional.

(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Culture/Society; Extended News; US: New York
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1 posted on 08/17/2021 5:48:30 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

Who do you think you are, Mike Pence?


2 posted on 08/17/2021 5:51:22 PM PDT by reg45 (Barack 0bama: Gone but not forgiven.)
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To: nickcarraway

Our offices always had glass windows from the floor to the ceiling.

As long as the blinds were open there could be no problems.

But—if you do not have that arrangement—no closed door—no way.


3 posted on 08/17/2021 5:51:28 PM PDT by cgbg (A kleptocracy--if they can keep it. Think of it as the Cantillon Effect in action.)
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To: nickcarraway

Bidness idea mobile notary now mobile chaperones


4 posted on 08/17/2021 5:52:30 PM PDT by al baby (Hi Mom Hi Dad)
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To: nickcarraway

FWIW - It’s my understanding that Billy Graham was never in a room alone with a woman other than his wife or close family member.


5 posted on 08/17/2021 5:53:41 PM PDT by nuconvert ( Warning: Accused of being a radical militarist. Approach with caution.)
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To: nickcarraway

Who are you going to get to chaperone? If you get a man, then it’s “men protecting each other” if an accusation is made. If it’s a woman, you run the risk of it being your word against theirs and they WILL side against the male.


6 posted on 08/17/2021 5:56:01 PM PDT by Retrofitted
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To: nickcarraway

Say what we will about the ruthless Taliban, but one thing is FOR SURE - no man in their society ever has to worry about being falsely accused of ANYTHING by a woman. They have that one figured out.


7 posted on 08/17/2021 5:56:46 PM PDT by BobL (I shop at Walmart and eat at McDonald's, I just don't tell anyone, like most here.)
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To: nickcarraway

Its a completely reasonable fear.

I would record everything or have someone else present. Or meet in an open space, even if its in the cafeteria away from people, but able to be observed by others,not necessarily overheard.

May also want to consider if you believe it might be getting this bad where you work, shifting into a level where youdont have to do one on ones, or even consider changing companies or going independent inot something you can do solo or with another already-trusted person.


8 posted on 08/17/2021 5:57:56 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: nickcarraway

Tape it.


9 posted on 08/17/2021 5:58:23 PM PDT by glorgau
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To: nickcarraway

The best chaperone is video.


10 posted on 08/17/2021 5:59:01 PM PDT by Anti-Bubba182
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To: nickcarraway

The governor resigned after explaining away the kisses on the cheeks, but totally ignored the detailed reports of grabbing breasts and backsides. The fact that he didn’t address those parts of the report confirms his guilt.


11 posted on 08/17/2021 5:59:18 PM PDT by conservative98
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To: nickcarraway

I once have to give a subordinate female a bad review. I made damn sure the door was left open.


12 posted on 08/17/2021 5:59:37 PM PDT by libertylover (Our biggest problem by far is that most of the news media is hate & agenda driven, not truth driven.)
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To: BobL

Well they understand the fundamental truth that all women lie and they are not to be trusted. They will always lie to save face, deflect blame, and they dont care at all if it destroys a mans life and work and throws him in prison.


13 posted on 08/17/2021 5:59:55 PM PDT by Secret Agent Man (Gone Galt; Not Averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: cgbg

I would also add no private lunches, dinners, or going to a bar after work. Definitely leave bar early and by yourself if with a group. You may need an out if someone wants to tag along when you leave. Minimize all non-business conversations.

Not discussed is travel. Another whole set of rules.


14 posted on 08/17/2021 6:01:23 PM PDT by alternatives?
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To: nickcarraway

At my last job I managed a team on the West coast. Largely because of COVID, I never got a chance to travel out there and I never met anyone on that CA team. I had regular meetings and did the best I could from a distance.

One woman was a certain “type” with a major chip on her shoulder. But she was very good. I gave her a Review on 3 occasions (every 6 months). The first time, based largely on my predecessor’s recommendation, I got her a 20% raise. She wanted constructive criticism. I didn’t know her all that well, I said I had no criticism, she was doing a hell of a job. She complained to my boss that I was not “mentoring” her.

Second review: Based largely on my boss’s recommendation that I “smooth the water”, I got her a promotion with a nice new job title so that she could demonstrate her career advancement and put something sweet on her resume. She wanted constructive criticism. I gave it a shot but I honestly had no criticism, her numbers were very good — she was really good at her job. Everyone said so. She was pissed and complained to my boss again. He got mad at me and coached me to have something solid to complain about next time.

Third review: I got her another raise based on a very high job rating (she deserved it). She wanted constructive criticism. I was ready and gave her some advice related to her sensitivity and the fact that some people had reported that she was sometimes easily offended. She blew up. She wanted to know who said that about her. (I did not say). And then she filed a complaint against me with HR.

I left the job, got out of management. It’s just a minefield.


15 posted on 08/17/2021 6:02:48 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy (We have two Democrat parties. 50% of the US population has no political representation.)
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To: nickcarraway

Didn’t you see American Beauty?
I wouldn’t see guys unchaperoned either.


16 posted on 08/17/2021 6:03:15 PM PDT by moehoward (.)
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To: nickcarraway
But to say you won’t meet with any women privately is insulting prudent and unprofessional intelligent.

Fixed it.

17 posted on 08/17/2021 6:03:42 PM PDT by chajin ("There is no other name under heaven given among people by which we must be saved." Acts 4:12)
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To: BobL

no man in their society ever has to worry about being falsely accused of ANYTHING by a woman. They have that one figured out.


I think the testimony of four women is considered the equal to one man. In the old days (maybe even now) women testified through a window into the courtroom, unless on trial they weren’t permitted in the courtroom.

The last king, Mohammed Zahir Shah did change the law that allowed fathers to kill daughters who dishonored the family. To make up for the loss in family power, fathers could send their daughters to prison.


18 posted on 08/17/2021 6:04:00 PM PDT by hanamizu
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To: nickcarraway

I would not hire a woman in the first place. And when I worked with women I never worked without someone else in the office. It’s not worth it in today’s litigious culture.


19 posted on 08/17/2021 6:04:38 PM PDT by Organic Panic (Democrats. Memories as short as Joe Biden's eyes.)
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To: nickcarraway

In my job in private industry I won’t meet with or have a dialogue exchange with any female without a witness or participating additional person. It’s also a good common practice to do that universally with all co-workers or employees / contract staff regardless of gender. Honesty seems to be a thing of the past.


20 posted on 08/17/2021 6:05:21 PM PDT by blackdog (Sophisticated so public policy is not applicable. )
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