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Before we Abolish Cuomo and Due Process, Turn #Metoo from a Monologue to a Dialogue
Townhall.com ^ | April 9, 2021 | Dr Warren Farrell

Posted on 04/09/2021 9:48:43 AM PDT by Kaslin

Before we turn Andrew Cuomo from a national hero into an international outcast, let’s use the crisis to create an opportunity; replacing a #metoo monologue with a #metoo dialogue.

#Metoo’s good news was that millions of women expressed feelings they had previously repressed. Heterosexual boys and men, who were biologically and socially programmed to protect women, increased their sensitivity to what had created trauma for their sisters, wives, daughters, mothers, and female friends. Many were appalled to hear how their sexual initiative-taking often felt oppressive to women and created traumas the women they loved had repressed. Virtually every heterosexual man sensed that he had been part of the problem in the past. Even men who said little were quietly introspective.

Now the bad news: #metoo is a monologue, and the solution is a #metoo dialogue.

The male-female dance is a delicate tango. And yes, it takes two to tango.

As a monologue, #metoo did not lead to women who believed in equality expecting each other to apply that equality to equally sharing the risks of sexual rejection. It left men alone as the ones risking sexual rejection, resulting in a courtship when the woman receives it well, or a law court when a woman receives it poorly.

Nor does #metoo fully empower females. It does not empower females to say what offends them at the time of the offending behavior.

Instead, #metoo allows the world to hear women’s feelings of powerlessness in the presence of men with corporate and political power. It does not allow the world to hear men’s feelings of powerlessness in the presence of women with youth, beauty, and sexual power.

#Metoo inspired women to tell their stories, but ruined men’s lives without hearing men’s stories. Our passion to protect women from Weinstein-type abusiveness led to tossing due process out the window, leading to protection for a woman accusing a man that far surpassed the protection due process ever allowed for a man accused by another man.

If boys and men were ever to feel safe to express their feelings without being shouted down, what might they say? Boys who are teenagers, and less mature than their female counterparts, often experience what might be called a #metoo Catch-22; they feel that if they initiate too quickly they might be labeled a sexual harasser, but if they initiate too slowly, they might be labeled a wimp.

All these emotions are at play even as the boy is feeling protective of the young woman he is afraid of. Because there is no #metoo for guys, few young men are able to articulate these conflicting feelings even to themselves. The result is that few boys feel that anyone has empathy for the trauma they experience as they risk sexual rejection.

A #metoo dialogue would give boys social support for expressing their feelings. This is in contrast with what boys learn makes them attractive to women; Lois Lane rejected the more sensitive Clark Kent until she discovered he was also Superman. Boys and men observe that successful men like Superman repress feelings; it is unsuccessful men who express feelings.

More importantly, a #metoo dialogue will ultimately make both sexes healthier and happier. When women complain about toxic masculinity and male privilege, boys and men just put their heads in the sand and hope the bullets will miss. Women feel their negative experiences with men are the full story, and their anger, disgust and contempt for men deepens. With boys and men saying little—and quickly shut down if they say anything— why should women feel they are missing anything? Women can’t hear what men don’t say. Cancel culture assures they won’t.

Maybe Cuomo’s transgressions are not the model New York desires. But perhaps we should use this period to allow for due process rather than immediate prosecution. We should allow for an evolutionary shift of #metoo from a monologue to a dialogue, teaching men and women to hear each other’s experience of powerlessness, replacing blame with compassion, and trauma with love.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; US: New York
KEYWORDS: andrewcuomo; drwarrenfarrell; dueprocess; metoo; newyork; townscrawl

1 posted on 04/09/2021 9:48:43 AM PDT by Kaslin
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To: Kaslin

Ever hear of the play — “The Vagina Dialogs”?

Me neither.


2 posted on 04/09/2021 9:50:26 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire. Or both.)
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To: Kaslin

No. Cuomo, the Michigan witch, and the Virginia blackface need to go. Now. Want to have a dialog? Then do it after the Rats lose a few of their’s and it needs to be painful to them, and not before.


3 posted on 04/09/2021 9:52:35 AM PDT by rigelkentaurus
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To: Kaslin


4 posted on 04/09/2021 9:53:15 AM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there is no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. P144:1)
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To: rigelkentaurus

You beat me to and said it better. I was just going to say get rid of Cuomo and then we can have the dialog, but I like your approach much better.


5 posted on 04/09/2021 9:54:04 AM PDT by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: Kaslin

Prosecute Cuomo for the handling of the Nursing home deaths and let the tabloid stuff play its course.


6 posted on 04/09/2021 9:55:35 AM PDT by G Larry (Write in Donald J. Trump on ALL MLB All-Star Ballots!!!!!)
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To: Kaslin

The “Dialogue” has already Taken Place and has been Front and Center since trump came down the Escalator. Now is the time to Take Out the Democrat Trash with THEIR RULES!!


7 posted on 04/09/2021 9:57:54 AM PDT by eyeamok (founded in cynicism, wrapped in sarcasm)
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To: G Larry

That is exactly what they are trying to avoid.
If Cuomo goes down for his handling of COVID, there are apparently 4-5 other Democrat governors who could follow him.


8 posted on 04/09/2021 10:17:31 AM PDT by Little Ray (Corporations don't pay taxes. They collect them.)
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To: Kaslin

“a national hero”

are you nucking futs?

The Senior Slaughterer and Granny Grave Digger is a far cry from a national hero.


9 posted on 04/09/2021 10:29:36 AM PDT by Macoozie (Handcuffs and Orange Jumpsuits)
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To: Kaslin

Get rid of Cujo now—debate the wisdom of it after the creep is gone.


10 posted on 04/09/2021 10:38:43 AM PDT by cgbg (A kleptocracy--if they can keep it. Think of it as the Cantillon Effect in action.)
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To: Kaslin

Is this satire?


11 posted on 04/09/2021 11:00:37 AM PDT by Bigg Red (Trump will be sworn in under a shower of confetti made from the tattered remains of the Rat Party.)
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To: Kaslin

That’s all fine and dandy

Here’s the real deal though

First of all is the accused running for something ; nominated for something or is on the cusp of being put in a position of power?

If it’s that point all of the sudden one or two accusers come out of the woodwork having held their feelings inside all those years before I’m gonna call that immediately suspect

Here’s another one

Is there more than one accuser? Are there multiple accusers with more or less the same story over and over again?

Here’s the final one

Is it a Democrat politician?

If the answer to the last one is yes obviously- nothing matters


12 posted on 04/09/2021 11:16:19 AM PDT by Truthoverpower (Fraud !!! Now we’re off the TRUMP TRAIN and on the Swamp express to communist hell !! TRUTH! )
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To: Kaslin
Virtually every heterosexual man sensed that he had been part of the problem in the past.

Fallacy of Proof by Assertion!

Well, here's one heterosexual man who categorically refuses to accept any responsibility whatsoever for this problem.

Regards,

13 posted on 04/09/2021 12:36:20 PM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; cardinal4; ColdOne; ...
Town Scrawler is dead wrong -- Cuomo isn't going to face any punishment, ever.

14 posted on 04/09/2021 10:24:15 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie.)
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To: Kaslin
...replacing a #metoo monologue with a #metoo dialogue.

Understatement... The current system is so out of whack that it's verging on criminal.

15 posted on 04/10/2021 9:21:30 AM PDT by GOPJ (We need a better class of 'elites' - the ones we have now are more like vile white trash...)
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