Posted on 11/05/2020 7:17:48 PM PST by DoodleBob
Parents have a difficult enough job as it is, making the choices they feel are appropriate for their families and children. Health and safety are a huge consideration in that effort. Recently, one mom questioned whether her stance on gun safety, and potential access to a firearm via her parents-in-law, was needlessly harsh. The internet response was overwhelming: you do you, mama.
The mom shared her concerns on a Reddit platform, asking fellow internet patrons “Am I The A**hole?” She explained the specifics of the ban on her mother- and father-in-law babysitting. "My in-laws (80M and 70F) have a gun for protection," she explained in her message. "They do not keep it locked up in a safe. They will not tell us where it is except that it's in their bedroom, but my husband is fairly sure it's under their mattress.” She had been assured it was not stored loaded, but the couple would not show their adult children where the gun was for their peace of mind.
That’s when, the mom explained to Reddit, things got tricky. With her kids getting older and more inquisitive, she no longer felt comfortable with her in-laws babysitting at their home. "My FIL asked me why I don't let them watch the kids,” she said, and “I told them because of the gun that they refuse to keep locked up."
This caused a huge rift in the family. But mom was adamant the decision was out of concern for safety. "We taught my son what to do if he comes across a gun, but he's still a kid. And so, we only visit if either me or my husband can go too to make sure the bedroom door is locked," she said.
The conflict didn’t end on principle alone. The poster and her husband even bought the parents a safe for the gun, but they refused to use it. Her father-in-law explained, “there is no point in keeping it in a safe because it needs to be accessible for self-defense.” So, the rift deepened. The poster noted, “They will not be watching them until I see the gun in a safe, unloaded and completely out of my kids' reach."
And largely, the internet audience was on her side. The overwhelming sentiment was that her parents-in-law absolutely were within their rights to own a firearm, but not within their rights to leave it unlocked around her kids. Similarly, the parents-in-law had made the foolish choice, not mom: "It is a very simple choice you've asked them to make. And they have made it clear they'd rather have unfettered access to their guns at all times than unsupervised time with their grandchildren."
The viral nature of the disagreement suggests that the hot-button issue of gun control is yet another source of friction for family members who are not on the same page. While the mom went online to seek insight as to whether she was being unreasonable, she was met with confirmation that holding her ground was worth the effort, in this case.
bingo
“Well we here aren’t your typical ‘internet audience’, we’re experts at everything!”
Just ask us!
GMTA.....
Seems like she could buy them a gun lock and ask they have it locked while the kids are there. Instead of making a fool of herself and embarrassing their family on social media. Decision: parents are idiots.
What are those stats on accidental firearm death and injury of children?
“Gramma; what’s this rubbery thing I found in the nightstand?”
A .410 and a drum.
Great point!
The woman is a cheapskate...
IS SHE paying the grandparents to babysit???
IF NOT, and she is so CONCERNED...PAY for a babysitter & only include the grandparents when everyone is going out for dinner or whatever.
This “Mother’ has no right to dictate how the Grandparents take care of their own safety inside their own property.
She needs a trip to the woodshed.
That is fine-—But then, she should PAY for her own babysitter & stop badgering the grandparents about their own personal safety measures.
The last person that commented negatively about MY person in home choices was banished from my life. Don’t miss him.
HELL, NO.
PAY for a separate babysitter....Don’t expect free family babysitting to include YOUR standards for in home personal safety.
Those parents raised a MAN YOU married—so there must have been something they did right.
Quit being such a cheapskate & spend other quality time with In-Laws & kids at dinner or movies, etc.
It is NOT her right to dictate how they handle their own personal safety in their own property—not ever...
I am the oldest of 4 kids...all the younger ones are male.
There were AT LEAST 7 long guns in our house—ON a rack any of us could access.
Never thought about having any kind of problem. And we didn’t.
When I was a teenager—I had both—an ‘over & under’
The in-laws raised a pussy for a son. This is the result.
You could find them at CDC. My point is that she as the mom has the right to decide whether her children can safely be where there is basically unrestricted access to firearms. If the grandparents thought her requests were unreasonable then it makes sense for them to see the grandchildren someplace other than their house.
My Dad had all his guns in his closet, with the ammo for each on the shelf above. When I got my NRA Junior Sharpshooter medal for 50ft Smallbore at summer camp when I was 9, he gave me one of them, a Remington 510 Targetmaster. He made a wooden wall rack for it, and I kept it hanging over my bed.
I missed those. Thanks for the heads up. One big problem is that children and teens these days do not have the normal exposure to guns that you had. An exposure that included the does and don’ts along with a clear understanding of what happened if rules were broken. So they are more curious and curiosity does not just slay kitty. At some point those kids need to be safely introduced to firearms. The sooner the better.
Guns are not magic. They don’t up and kill all on their own. But I see nothing wrong with it being kept in a safe while the kids are there for the time being. A gun should not be the first line of defense for a homeowner. If the grandparents are casual about home security because they own a gun that is foolish. Break ins are often a crime of opportunity. Making it harder on burglars means more time to access a firearm when one is needed. They should think about that.
By the way did the article mention if the grandparents had any firearm training? That matters.
As for firearms “training,” myself and hundreds of other 9 year-olds were given a 10 minute demonstration, and then let loose on the firing line. Sure, there were RSOs watching, but the idea that a grandparent needs firearms “training” to keep a gun safely in their house is absurd. “Training” will not impart an iota of judgement.
If they are new to gun ownership then I think some training even if just the sort you had is important. If they have been around guns for a long time then no, it would not be needed.
I agree with you about negligence. Which is probably true for the majority of childhood accidents.
I have a feeling that at 9 you and your friends were more mature than many 15 year olds are today. That is one difference to take into account when discussing safety and guns.
Yeah, I think we pretty much agree. I would never call this Mom an asshole, if her concerns are based in a good-faith desire to keep her kids safe.
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