If you lived here in NJ you’d realize that without a large income (from one or two or three sources) you would have a low standard of living and live in an unsafe area. Ditto for NY state; it is why the middle class is fleeing these two states. Two average incomes don’t provide what would pass for a “middle class” lifestyle in Middle America.
Then i hate to tell you but your life math is off.
2 parents working + kids = bad news. It is unfair to all involved, no matter how “good” the parents are. One can rarely manufacture time.
And if you do the hard math you will see that 2 incomes does not produce twice the outcome.