Here Are 24 Alternate Names For U.S. Army Forts And Military Bases

The Federalist ^ | June 11, 2020 | Anominous

[Kaslin]

President Donald Trump on Wednesday said he “will not even consider” renaming military bases like Fort Hood or Fort Bragg. But perhaps it is still worth considering the possibilities of offering recruits more truth in advertising via modern names. The following suggestions were sent in to us at The Federalist as potential solutions for this thorny problem:

Fort I Just Wanted Tuition Assistance

Fort 100% Promotion Rate

Fort 24% Interest Rate On A Camaro

Fort Distract Everyone With New Uniforms

Fort We’ve Been Using The Same Small Arms For Fifty Years But The Navy Needs A New Carrier

Fort Don’t Want To Repeat Vietnam So Let’s Repeat Vietnam

Fort Tommy Franks Was An Idiot

Fort Bush Should Have Mined The Passages To Pakistan From Tora Bora

Fort Worthless Training Exercise

Fort VA Disability Claims

Fort Your Parts For Your Humvee Will Arrive In 6 Months

Fort Paula Broadwell’s Push Up Regimen Is Very Hard

Fort Act Like We Have Something To Train For, Then Do Equipment Inventories Instead

Fort Why Do Sergeant Majors Even Exist

Fort The General Is Getting A Sweet Gig With Lockheed Next Month

Fort Always Ready, At 40% Of Authorized Strength

Fort Unsustainable Cash Hemorrhage

Fort Two Advil Should Fix That Right Up

Fort PFC Numbnuts Married That Chick He Just Met Last Friday

Fort Fix PTSD On Your Own Time

Fort 35 Year Old Private With 6 Kids

Fort Are We Really Changing Uniforms Again?

Fort No, Seriously, Tommy Franks Really Blew It

Fort No That’s The Wrong Form Come Back Monday When We Are Closed

[JBW1949]

Well, they are BOTH delicious!!!!!!!!! (BIG GRIN)

[Gay State Conservative]

I tried the breakfast table variety once...reminded me of wall paper paste.Never got acquainted with the other at all (too busy trying to graduate from BCT).

[Yulee]

Make them eat their own. Pass an amendment as part of the appropriations act the that removes from office any and all persons belonging to any political party associated with the Confederacy, resistance to Reconstruction in the South, and tied in any way to Socialist aims.

Make them live up to their own history, rather than trying to wipe out all evidence of their past stand for slavery.

[Rebelbase]

Fort Hancock. That’s where Andy crossed.

[Boomer]

Leftists/Leftism ruins everything it touches.

[Orosius]

Just rename all of them Fort Floyd.

[JBW1949]

Grits with butter and cheese with salt and pepper...MMMMMM...

[Cannon6]

Well?

[Old Yeller]

Fort Liberace. It’s Fabulous!

[Team Cuda]

The US Constitution on Treason (Article 3, Section 3) “Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort.”

Are you seriously stating that the members of the Confederate Army (especially their generals) we not levying war against the United States?

As far as the incompetence claim, not all, but certainly some. Would you really want to defend the competence of Braxton Bragg (lost Chattanooga to Grant, relieved of command by Jeff Davis). Even though Hood was a (somewhat) competent Division and Corps commander, he kinda sucked (another word for incompetence) as an Army commander. He lost Atlanta (and, really, the entire state of Georgia) to Sherman. Neither are poster children for competence.

My personal opinion is that the Forts named for Confederate commanders should be renamed for Medal of Honor winners from the state the Fort is in. Fort Hood, for example, could be renamed Fort Audie Murphy, after the most decorated soldier (and a Texas native, which Hood wasn’t) of WW2.

After all, shouldn’t US Army bases be named after US Army heroes?

[Old Yeller]

Fort Surrender

[Gay State Conservative]

I was a kid...first time away from home...scared out of my mind (mainly about Vietnam).I wasn’t thinking at all about Girls Raised In The South...or *any* girls for that matter.As for the breakfast variety...no thanks.My first experience was my last.

[US_MilitaryRules]

I got a few names!
Fort Trump 1
Fort Trump 2
and on up to
Fort Trump 24!

[eyedigress]

How about Fort Shit?

I not certain I want that command coming after me.

[Grimmy]

Fort names. Army. Ok. Lets see....

Fort Day Care.
Fort All Hands In Pocket Pool.
Fort New Issue Hat For Morale!

Hehehe.

Semper Fi, you Dog-faced Pony-Soldiers.

[gopno1]

Ft. Michael Brown

Ft. Trayvon

Ft. Sharpton

[MadMax, the Grinning Reaper]

From yesterday is suggest for Fort Benning, FORT BENDOVER.

For Fort Bragg, it would be “Fort Faggot”.

Fort Sam Houston, now “Fort Whitney Houston” (who I love as a great singer).

Fort Ord - Fort Ordinary

Fort McHenry - Fort O’Henry Bar (a candy bar for you youngsters

[xp38]

How could they miss Fort Shut The F*** Up Carl?

[Fred Hayek]

Fort Bill Ayers
Fort H Rap Brown
Fort Gus Hall
Fort Mark Rudd
Fort Tom Hayden
Fort Bernadine Dohrn
Fort Charles Manson
Fort Squeaky Fromme
Fort Jim Jones
Fort Angela Davis
Fort Kathy Boudin
Fort Abby Hoffman

[ScottinVA]

Some that’ll just bring the lefties to orgasm:

Fort ANTIFA
Fort Mumia
Fort Baghdadi
Fort bin Laden
Fort Marx