Skip to comments.Trump complains low-flow toilets are flush with problems
Posted on 12/07/2019 7:24:13 AM PST by gattaca
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HArd to disagree with this opinion. Even if you want to conserve water.
This could win his reelection by fixing this alone!
It’s about time somebody addressed that crappy regulation.
Dave Barry wrote about this back in 1990. Finally someone has listened.
DAVE BARRY: Toilet testers are striving to come out, well, No. 2
Dave Barry Jun 3rd, 2001
TASTEFULNESS ADVISORY: Do not read this column if you are eating, or plan to eat ever again. Thank you.
Recently I watched as a professional engineer attempted to flush fermented bean curd down a toilet.
This was not some fun engineer prank. This was a laboratory test conducted at the research center of the National Association of Home Builders, which is trying to develop a laboratory test for toilet performance that simulates the challenges faced by toilets in the real world.
This research is necessary because Americans are unhappy with the wimpy toilets we are now required to buy. We yearn for the glory years, when our toilets were among the most powerful on earth - when the standard American household commode could, in a single flush, as proven in actual tests, suck down a mature sheep.
(Before I get a lot of mail from angry animal-rights activists, let me stress that these tests did NOT use an actual sheep. That would be barbaric! They used two goats tied together.)
But then, in 1992, the U.S. Congress - instead of passing a law that would actually benefit ordinary Americans, such as a mandatory death penalty for telemarketers -decided to cripple our toilets. Specifically, Congress passed a law limiting new toilets to 1.6 gallons of water per flush, less than half what the old toilets used. In terms of power and studliness, our toilets went from being the Baltimore Ravens to being Barry Manilow.
(Before I get a lot of mail from angry Barry Manilow fans, let me stress that, as a musician and a performer, he sounds like two goats tied together.)
The new toilets were supposed to save water. And they work OK when it comes to disposing of what is euphemistically referred to as “Number One.” The problem is that, when they must dispose of what is euphemistically referred to as “Geraldo,” they tend to clog, and they often must be flushed repeatedly, which actually wastes water.
(Before I get a lot of mail from angry Geraldo fans, let me stress that there ARE no Geraldo fans.)
So anyway, the plumbing and homebuilding industries have gotten many complaints about the new toilets. That’s why the National Association of Home Builders has been trying to come up with a real-world toilet test, so we’ll know which, if any, toilets actually work, so consumers can buy these and get rid of the bad toilets, which will then be dropped from bombers onto the U.S. Capitol.
OK, that last part is a fantasy (for now). But the NAHB really is doing serious toilet research, as I learned when I was given a tour of its Maryland research facility by Larry Zarker, Chuck Arnold and Tom Kenney. They showed me a laboratory where test toilets are mounted on a frame; the procedure is, you put your test material into the bowl, flush, then see how much material makes it through to a wire collection basket underneath. (Kids: This would be a GREAT science-fair project!)
Kenney first showed me the current test standard, in which the toilet is supposed to flush 100 little plastic balls. There are two problems with this test. One is that anybody who emits anything like 100 little plastic balls doesn’t need a better toilet; he needs immediate medical care. The other problem is that the test is WAY too easy.
“Any toilet in the world can pass it,” Kenney said.
He then showed me some of the tougher, more-realistic tests being considered. These involve various materials, including wads of paper and sponges, both weighted and unweighted, to simulate what the NAHB refers to as “sinkers” and “floaters.”
But the most impressive test material, by FAR, is the fermented bean curd, which Kenney said is made, using a secret recipe, by the Toto toilet company of Japan, a world leader in commode innovation. I mean, this stuff looks EXACTLY like real Geraldo. I myself would not touch it. I watched in fascinated horror as Kenney boldly grasped a mass of it and, with his bare hands, formed 10 incredibly lifelike Puff Daddies. Needless to say, these clogged the test toilet.
I was deeply moved by this experience. I came away convinced that these engineers will, some day, develop a test that will enable us, as a nation, to once again have faith in our commodes. When that day comes, I want to shake the hands of the courageous researchers who made it possible. But first they will have to wash up.
Dave Barry is a humor columnist for the Miami Herald. Write to him c/o The Miami Herald, One Herald Plaza, Miami, FL 33132.
10 to 15 times? Must have been a doozie!
Basically he is saying the regulators are full of Schiff.
OAC would be 'flush with guilt' to flush more than once.
Maybe Trump wll get rid of the disruptive “daylight savings time” nonsense too.
Rush will love to be talking about this. Rush was on this long ago.
President Trump is the most common sense president since Coolidge.
You have to love this guyspeaking the obvious, though it will drive the deranged enviroweenies crazy.
“Make America Safe to Flush Obamas Again”!
Now we need to do something about people not cleaning up their dog Obamas.
That would be wonderful. It’s just plain stupid.
Here’s my water conservation story:
In 1999 I was sent to Washington DC on a temporary assignment. I stayed at the Residence Inn, which was like an apartment. They had a sign in the bathroom about conserving water by using your bath towel more than once. That was fine. One day before leaving for work, I drank a glass of water and left the glass in the sink. When I came home they had left a notice saying that since I had left dirty dishes they had run my dishwasher. Sure enough, there was one glass in the dishwasher. That was about 50 gallons of water used to wash one glass.
I suppose this is not a problem, however, to the crazed actress who uses only one square of TP.
People are flushing toilets 10 times, 15 times as opposed to once.
If you are flushing 10-15 times, dont call a plumber, call your doctor.
There was always a common solution. Toilets with two flush options. First one for a gallon for #1 and second one for 3 gallons for 2.
I said he’ll do that in his second term. Hope so.
Finally. I think of the rats who did this every time I flush and flush again. So many things are made worse by the rats I have lost count. How about the fact your new car’s engine shuts itself off at every light. That one’s a beauty.
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