"So, like the waves were really gnarly, and I was like so fried from partying last night, and my friend yells 'Yo dude, SHARK!', and I'm like 'Wuuuut?', and BOOM, this big bro shark latches onto my arm, and I'm like 'Whoa, dude, that hurts!', and the shark he don't say a thing, and then he lets go, and I think maybe I can cop some free beers from this, and like 'Here I am, just partying away!"
"You know, a lot of people expected maybe Cory Booker
or Pete Buttigieg would take the honors this year."
